January 27, 2013

4 Gruesome Scenes from Demons (1985)

Welcome to another installment of Drunketh's Demons Coverage. I'm EEriEErik, your host from the West Coast. This time around I'm talking about what everyone came to see: some of that sweet meaty Gore!

1) Kathy births a Demon... OUT OF HER BACK!

Lamberto Bava's 1985 film Demons is pretty memorable in a lot of ways. For the most part, the movie as a whole is memorable in the way that it delivers such an insane amount of perplexing gruesomeness so fast and so ruthlessly. If the word Blitzkrieg were to ever epitomize a movie, it's this one! There's no fucking doubt about it, Demons is an all out assault on the senses. Violence flows like sweet Italian wine down the gullet, and things... well, things just happen to get mighty weird at times. It's not enough that the movie is already pretty weird from the get-go, but then some shit happens that'll completely destroy your mind. Which brings me to number one on this list.

Who in the hell could have ever expected this, you ask, and the answer my fiends is absolutely no-fucking-body! After Kathy becomes possessed by the Metropol theater and slowly changes into her fantastic new demon form, she lunges at her former friends and Kenny beats her down with a cheap dust-cover that Hannah's boyfriend left behind during their escape. Kenny had no other choice than to use this worthless prop as a weapon, but at least he was fast acting and laid her out. For a moment that is, as after Kathy fell to the floor she got onto her knees (aw yeahz!) and started quivering. That's when the startling revelation was made by George, who just happened to be staring at that sweet backside of hers.

"Look!... Look at Dat Ass!!1"

A blood-covered mini-demon bursts its way out of the poor horror-movie-hating chick's back, and man is he one fast charging motherfucker, as he just blazes a trail towards poor Ken and sinks those claws right into his chestorals. It's pretty bizarre, to me at least, as to why he'd beat the shit out of the metamorphosing tease he wanted to fuck, only to then just let their newly conceived love child do that sort of immediate damage. Perhaps it's all symbolism. Did I mention that this movie is filled with all sorts of fun and interesting symbolism if you're high enough? I haven't even... scratched ...the surface! Ha Ha Wow.

2) Carmen's Transformation.

Rosemary may have been the "first" to acquire the Demonic Virus of Brutal Transformation... but we as the viewer didn't get to see all too much from that erosive event, aside from some nasty acne squirtage! After we were treated to that bubble burst of acquired sexiness, Rosemary went off and hid in the stall like any normal transvestite hooker-turned Demon would do. That's when Carmen, the other not-as-wacky hooker, came into play. She was sent off by her ever-loving pimp to go find her sister of the night, and while she showed a bit of restraint opening that last stall door, she was indeed concerned.

The look of horror on her face tells all, as Rosemary is spewing a hell of a lot more jizz from her mouth than the usual cinema outing demands! Carmen goes running, but her newly evolved friend bursts out the fingernails an tears into her BFFF's neck. It couldn't have happened to a nicer girl too. So sad, but in reality these chicas were meant to be together forever and that includes spreading disease, whether it's from Hell or not. And if you're going to have a movie where a disease makes you ooze green pus from all over your body, it may as well be spread by a professional disease carrier.

Hang on, I nearly just vomited. Where was I? Oh right, so as it turns out whenever you become infected the first thing that always happens is a huge bubble forms on your body and explodes with massive amounts of nasty green pus. You gotta love it. Could you think of something more disgusting, more revolting to the human senses than pus? Wet, gooey, sometimes chunky, often times delicious. Well, if the pus doesn't bother you then I hope you're not sensitive to scenes involving dental trauma, fingernail carnage, wig peeling or eye violence!

"Son of a Bitch! Shit!" Claws sprout out of Carmen's previously human fingernails, her tongue extends to lizard-like lengths, and the best part of it all: her teeth are forced out of her skull by newly emerging Fangs!! Fuck yeah. Oh and it's one bloody affair too. The camera lingers on these fangs protruding and the blood gushing out of her gums while her old teeth drop away. It's some real freaky stuff and one of the best scenes in the movie. Just take a look at these shots. Very reminiscent of Nosferatu, I'd say. Is there any coincidence that there's a Nosferatu 1979 poster hanging in the Metropol's lobby? Hell no.

Carmen then rises up, her bloodlust raging out of control, and attacks the closest victim to her, which happens to be the mean old motherfucker with high blood pressure. And believe me when I tell you that his high blood pressure sure makes things messy... when Carmen tears his grumpy ass a new Goatse! The image below is sure to bring back some horrid memories of unsuspectingly browsing the netherwebs.

What has been seen, can never be unseen!

3) Rosemary Peels a Cap.

Look at those eyes in the background. Absolutely Horrifying!
Looks like a cover of a rap album to me.

When the threat of demons first breaks out, the people panic and start to scramble, though most of them do a pretty good job of staying together as a group. As long as they stick together there's a greater chance that nobody will get hurt, right? Probably not, but it's safer that way nonetheless. Or at least it feels that way. This little cutie in the blue dress however thinks she's smarter than everyone else apparently and decides to wander off on her own into a dark room.

Much to her chagrin the room is filled with nothing but old chairs and junk. While isolated in this strange and messy room, the rest of the people outside start screaming and running away. She of course goes to see why and winds up face to face with the Demonic Rosemary! She turns around and tries to escape (back into a room with no other exit points - dumbass) and ends up getting caught by the hair and scalped for her idiotic behavior. Now that's what I call a... hair raising scene. ;)

4) Rosemary rips a Blind man's Eyes out!

Blind guy, meet Rosemary. So here we've got Werner crouched down and grieving over the loss of his beautiful seeing eye dog Liz, when suddenly Rosemary shows up from behind and knocks the blue blockers right off of his fuckin' face. She then plunges her sharp crusty fingernails deep into his eye sockets and starts squeezing away. Come on! Was that really necessary? The fucking dude is already blind... and you're going to gouge his eyes out? Now that's just downright sadistic. 

Downright sadistic, and I'll have you know that I enjoy every twisted second of it! Lamberto Bava and Dario Argento must be some real sick bastards to think up having a blind guy going to a horror movie in the first place, but then have a demonic bitch rip his non working eyes out? Bravo! And I really like how you get to see it from the blind guy's perspective too. That was a really nice touch. Not to mention just so unusual, creative and totally demented

I guess he'll be seeing her... in hell!

Stay tuned Keep your eyes peeled for more Demons coverage, right here, on the site without sight Horror Movies and Brewskies. Up next: "The Lighter side of Demons". Why, doesn't that just sound absolutely fantastic. Until then...

January 25, 2013

Firestone Walker 15th Anniversray Ale

Firestone Walker 15th Anniversary Ale - A Blend of Barrel Aged Beers (2011)
Limited Release (Brewed Once)
22 fl. oz. / $24.99 USD / 12.5% ABV

About: "As a finished beer, XV is alive with amazing complexity and yet it is quite possibly the most integrated and seamless blend yet.

Looking at a blend of 8 beers on paper at first looks chaotic and potentially disjointed; however, a closer look reveals and interesting theme: 76% Barley Wine style beers, 19% Stout and 5% Imperial IPA. XV introduces our new blonde barley wine "Helldorado" with flavors of lavender honey liqueur. The well established "DDBA" delivers its signature American toasted oak, English caramel toffee and light leather nuances. 2010 vintage "Sticky Monkey" folds in brown sugar, maple, cinnamon, ginger and ripe figs. "Parabola" brings the familiar flavors of roasted dark coco, and chocolate covered cherries. "Velvet Merkin" carries silky milk chocolate, toasted coconut and creamy textures. "Good Foot" and "Bravo" add assertive barley wine warmth and lush barrel derived vanilla bean notes.  The game changer this year is the addition of "Double Jack" to the blend.  At just 5% its massive dry hop character brings citrus zest, tangerine and mango aromas making this a completely new beer.

The beer is unfiltered and unfined, so there will be a small amount of sediment in the bottom of the bottle.   XV is best enjoyed poured carefully into a half-filled brandy snifter or wine glass. Allow it to warm to 55F to fully enjoy the pleasing and complex aromas. As the beer sits and breathes in the glass, a richer, orange zested, chocolate dusted, vanilla custard character is reveled, so take your time. If you wait to open your bottle later, store it in a cool dark place. I suspect that this beer will age well and change favorably for years to come. It was an absolute pleasure in the making and I truly hope you enjoy our Sixth oak-aged blend!  Our journey continues and it’s just as fun and exciting now as it was back in 1996.

18% Helldorado (11.7% ABV) Blonde Barley Wine. (Buckwheat Honey and 100% El Dorado Hops)
17% Sticky Monkey (12.5% ABV) English Barley Wine. (Mexican Turbinado Brown Sugar)
17% Bravo (13.5% ABV) Imperial Brown Ale. (100% US Grown Fuggles Hops)
13% Double Double Barrel Ale (11.5% ABV) Double Strength English Pale Ale. (Double Version of Flagship)
11% Good Foot (14.3 ABV) American Barley Wine. (Copious amounts of American Grown Hops)
10% Velvet Merkin (8.6% ABV) Traditional Oatmeal Stout. (100% US Grown Fuggles Hops)
9% Parabola (13% ABV) Russian Imperial Oatmeal Stout. (Simcoe, Brao, Styrian Golding and East Kent Golding)
5% Double Jack (9.5% ABV) Double India Pale Ale. (Triple dry-hopped DIPA)"

Thoughts: I've never had a beer that came with a certificate before! Wow... cool shit.

XV poured a dark cherry color with a slightly brownish shade once it filled the glass. The head was minimal and very tan, and understandably faded quickly.

This beer smells absolutely beautiful. God damn... boozy dark fruits and dark chocolate predominate. It is wondrous. This is one fierce smelling barleywine man, I'll tell ya, and the really cool thing is with this blend that they've done this beer has a really awesome stout characteristic that comes in halfway through and a big hop profile at the end. Up front though it's really malty, heavy and dense smelling. In a word: Powerful.

First gulp and I am fucking blown away! You don't really get a ton of oak in the scent at first, but right off the tongue there's a massive sweet and delectable booze blow followed by a smooth woody finish. Second gulp now, this is pure insanity. The spice and flavor rolls around vertically in the mouth, constantly pounding down on the tongue like raindrops of ecstasy. It tingles, it's sticky, it's got a little bit of a harshness to it but it's not overly harsh and it falls back reasonably. It's slightly smoky. Tons of dark fruit, plum, raisins everywhere, figs, freshly fallen leaves, vanilla, Belgian chocolate, cinnamon, pepper... hints of cherry, cut grass, celery salt, mild coffee, red wine and hidden floral notes after it's swallowed. Oak is everywhere and leaves the mouth feeling as is there should be a few splinters in there after a short bit of drinking. This is some crazy shit!

The mouth feel is full, takes a while before it gets foamy, stinging, tickling and coats evenly leaving a massive amount of the gorgeous taste to linger for long periods between sips and gulps. Starts to get drying after a while, though not aggressively so. Nice feeling all around.

After warming for an hour this one gets really mellow. Slightly puckering effect with heavy booze, and yet, the booze isn't grossly overactive, but rather just explosive at first and fades so quick due that barrel aging that it's simply blissful. The price of this one hurt me at first, so much to the fact that I left it in the fridge for a few months. Tonight was the night, and unholy hell, what a fantastic night it has become! If you ever see this on the shelf, buy it!

In an act of courtesy, I offered a drink to my lady:

Me: "Hey, come over here and tell me what this smells like."

Her: "Uhg! I don't know but it's disgusting."

Well played.

January 20, 2013

The Hot Babes of Demons (1985)

Hi, I'm Drunketh Erik and this is the Hot Babes of Demons!

1. Emanuela Zicosky as "June, the Jeep Thrill"

Look at this chick! Would you just look at her?! She's the girl of my dreams!

Yeah, when she's all like "In your dreams!" I hit back with a snarky grin and and unblinking eyes and tell her "Yes! Tonight..." while I rub my hands together and let out a sinister geeky laugh. Dark fuckin' lord, what a beauty. She's the Amber Heard of her generation, only she probably likes dick and couldn't fake an orgasm if her life depended on it. That's right, this sultry piece of trim is all stunningly hot good looks and absolutely ZERO acting ability. Unless you count waving your head to and fro while taking long pauses between random                words and speaking like a robot to be "acting".

It's such a damn shame that she's only around for a minute or two at tops right before the credits roll. I would have liked to see more of her. A lot more of her! *creepy stare* On a positive note though, it is good to know that George just landed himself a new girlfriend, as his old one just landed... on the concrete!

2. Natasha Hovey as "Cheryl, the Final Girl"

It's no wonder that Natasha got the lead role in Demons way back in 1985. Not only was she just magnificent all around (and not to mention a hot honey babe), but she also possessed a "twitchy, gaspy and blinky" type of acting style now to this day known as "The Bella Method". Not many of you readers out there in Zombieland know this little fact, since it's been kept a labyrinthine secret amidst only the worthiest of worthy, but this leading female type has been a way of life since the earliest of moving pictures.

Don't act as if "your mind is blown"... that's how they find you!

It's actually Insane how certain stories get a five sequel treatment, while actual worthwhile stuff like Demons just gets thrown to the side, leaving all these beautiful young women nothing to fall back on apparently. Apart from their good looks and sharp teeth I guess.

Wait a minute, isn't June the final girl?

3. Paola Cozzo as "Kathy, the Stuck Up Sweety"

There are three things that we immediately get to know about Kathy. She's Cheryl's best friend, she hates horror movies and she loves Coca-Cola. My mistake, make that four things... we also realize straight away that she's incredibly hot too!

Why would I say that she's stuck up you ask? Well, for one she makes this face (above) pretty much throughout the entire film, especially when getting hit on by Kenny. And on top of that she totally ignores him and plays hard to get which is just wrong. Hot babes like Kathy shouldn't keep all that boobs to herself.

Kathy also likes to act as if she's totally uninteresting in getting laid, but that front couldn't be further from the truth. She wants it... bad! She only lets it be known to the viewer for a split second when she actually looks over at Kenny, but other than that she's got her "stuck up" game face on. Though I hardly agree with her masquerade of non-slutty behavior, I do however tolerate it due to her immense hot babeness.

See, how she places that straw upon her lips!
Oh, that I were the nectar within that straw,
That I might touch that tongue!

4. Fiore Argento as "Hannah, the Make-Out Fake-Out"

Dario Argento's immaculately gorgeous daughter Fiore plays the role of Hannah, a young teenage girl out on what appears to be her first date with a strapping young bachelor. How do I know that he's a "strapping young bachelor"? Well, just take a look at that sweater tied around his shoulders. Welcome to 1980's Italy, where that preppy look got youngsters more time-outs than Zack from Saved By The Bell.

These two with their distinctively curly locks are no doubt destined to end up together (and hopefully not related at all). Undoubtedly she'll end up knocked up and he'll be trying his damnedest to pass the next day's algebra quiz, only to have Demons infest their apartment building while a frumpy goth girl downstairs has a horrible birthday party! Who knew fate worked in such mysterious ways!

Hannah is a tragically beautiful generic character who is based on the real life cinema viewings of everyday girls taken to horror films by their supposed boyfriends. That ultra-hottie from Day of the Woman pretty much summed up this character with her video on female stereotypes in horror. Check that out HERE. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

"OH, Hi There!

I didn't see you all out there staring at my chick. Just Kidding (J/K for the newbs), I saw everything. She's pretty hot, right? You're probably wondering... how did I pull this one? Don't even worry about it unless you're a worrier and don't like looking at this PYT hugging on my shoulder because I fuckin' lift! She's all over me. You wanna know the secret? Sweaters bro. Sweaters. Just tie one over your shoulder and boo-yah. It also helps if you've got piercing eyes like mine, the kind of eyes that like to stare directly into the camera."

5. Nicoletta Elmi as "Ingrid, the Usherette"

Little Nicoletta. My my, how she has grown... into one Freakishly Hot Chick! 

I have been obsessed with this woman forever. I thought she was amazing in all of her early Italian giallo roles, and hot damn was she ever a cutie! When you first see her in Demons it's a shot of the back of her leg, she's standing in high heels and slowly lifting he skirt up. The camera pans up, she turns around in a mirror and fluffs her hair, gazing upon her own total and unadulterated hotness. It's pretty jaw-dropping to see this little girl all grown up and now finally molest-worthy. Legally speaking.

6. Sally Day as "Liz, the Jizz Slut"

Look at the hot fluffy eyebrows on this bitch would ya!?

I don't know what the fuck is up with Liz, other than she's up to some no-good, downright slutty business! Is she fucking around on this blind dude? Wait, I though she was his niece or something. When they both walk into the theater she's looking all around and comes off really suspicious like she's waiting for someone. Then this creepy ass bald dude rolls up all quiet like, they start making out and he slowly slides his hand right up her dress.

I really doubt she's wearing panties, this guy is in finger heaven and for some reason I think this blind dude knows what's up! Just a hunch. Overall her scene is really sleazy and pretty disgusting. I've always felt "icky" watching it, and that doesn't happen to me much. But at least she dies violently soon thereafter... that's what you get for stealing Jennifer Connelly's eyebrows away from her you Bitch!

7. Bettina Ciampolini as "Nina, the Punk Grrrl"

Bite that lip! You know why she's got that look on her face? Shhhh... don't spoil the surprise. That one's coming up in the next installment of my Demons coverage. Cocaine is a hell of a drug! I'll say that much. Especially if a girl gets it in her panties. And this girl here likes the white stuff. She likes White Wedding, Wide Spreading, Wet Bedding, For Getting and Blood Letting... well, not so much the bloodletting (that pissed her off), but you get the picture.

What in the fuck is up with those earrings!? Are those computer chips?

Is she the Terminator of coke or something?
Is her Primary Objective is to snort coke and suck cock!!?

She even gets her own mirror scene... the only other character to get one aside from Rosemary. Though, I can see why she gets her own, with all the fucking blow she does... not to mention all the blowing she does in that car with those three scumbags. Snow, Blow, Hoe and Woe. After all, the gang that snorts together, warts together!

8. Fabiola Toledo as "Carmen, la Culo Caliente"

Carmen was always my favorite of the two Whores, as I'm particularly fond of "spanish" girls (not to mention she's simply the hotter of the two, and well, Rosemary has that Rick James thing going on, UGH!). Even though Rosemary got a lot more of the gruesome rampaging scenes, was the first person to wear the mask and got more coverage on press materials, Carmen made up for all of that by getting a Full Transformation Sequence which rocked all of our fucking socks off!

I love this shot! Toilets, Trash and Titties.

Tony the Pimp was also more fond of Carmen and it's pretty obvious. Not only does he shout at Rosemary a couple times, but he also makes fun of her. But when Hoe Lotta Rosey disappears and Carmen goes to check on her, Tony slaps her on the ass and says "Don't you disappear too!" All with a wink and a smile. I'm not really surprised that she's the favorite. It's probably something to do with those earrings of hers. You know what they say: Bigger the O, bigger the Oh-no!

9. Gretta Geretta as "Rosemary, the Superfreak"

What a beauty! With her glowing red eyes, vein covered face, dirty ass teeth... wait wut?!

You mean she wasn't a Demon that whole time?! Dayum... no wonder her Pimp disrespected her so badly for seemingly no reason? It's as if that Silver Demon Mask was molded out of her face and put on display for her to be ridiculed. Harsh, ass, shit.

10. Eliana Miglio as "Edith, the Girl in the Tent waiting to get Fucked"

I've probably said this before, but my absolute favorite thing about Edith is that's she is just one dumb ass lass waiting in a tent to get f to the ucked. Nothin' wrong with that... everyone's got their place. But unholy hell is she dumb! She even calls one of her boyfriends "Computer Brain" just because he's speaking about something half-way intelligently. I mean, what the fuck is up with that?

And just what the hell is she doing in a tent anyways? Who set up this tent? Is the tent my pants? Is this tent just symbolism for my throbbing erect boner as I watch this girl screaming while a knife comes towards her?!

I know after the kids parked their motorbikes Nancy and Guy #1 started unpacking something off the back of one, but it's never shown what was in the bag. I guess it could be a tent, that's rational: Guys take ladies out to the cemetery, and do the Boy Scout thing by being prepared. Only I doubt they brought condoms, and that ain't no fuckin' Swiss Army Knife they packed!

11. Jasmine Maimone as "Nancy, drew Blood"

Nancy may not be the sharpest dresser (dig those orange pants and the cheesy button up shirt) or have the best haircut, but boy does she got a set of lungs on her. She's a (s)creamer baby! As an added bonus, she's also the smarter of the two girls on the silver screen up there... if you're into that sort of thing. I'm not personally, but I figured I throw that out there. I prefer her friend Edith the dumb slut! You know, for aesthetic reasons.

Still, what a mouth on her huh?! Final thought: Fiendish desire to muffle those screams in the worst way.

Till next time, Teh Drunketh.

My words are my own and as of posted from their creation forward I hereby claim originality to them. Pictures may prove to be promotional items and are the sole possessions of their respectful owners and/or companies. I do not sell, nor do I buy. I only rent, so therefore, nothing I own is truly mine.