Horror Movies and Beer!

Anheuser Busch Bud Light Platinum

2012-02-15T17:27:00.004-06:00

Bud Light Platinum (2012)
Year Round (New Release)
12 fl. oz. / $1.25 USD / 6.0% ABV

About: "Bud Light, the world’s best-selling beer, will add to its portfolio when the brand debuts Bud Light Platinum in early 2012. With a slightly sweeter taste, higher alcohol by volume (6%) and signature cobalt blue glass bottle, Bud Light Platinum provides beer drinkers an upscale light beer option as a companion to their social agenda. There are opportunities for light beer to expand into new occasions, and we think Bud Light Platinum is the beer to take us there,” said Mike Sundet, senior director, Bud Light. “Bud Light’s ability to innovate and its social personality makes it the ideal brand to introduce Bud Light Platinum to a growing number of image-conscious beer drinkers.”

Thoughts: Poured a near clear slightly straw yellow. I think this may be the most transparent and clearest beer I've ever seen. The opaque white head vivaciously bubbled itself down to nothing (just like a soda, only a little slower) in a twenty second span. Carbonation bubbles are rising like mad and clinging all over the glass.

Scent is stronger than I had expected at first. Mostly of rice. Smells like a standard American beer that's not heavy in any major areas.

Hint of spice. It's a little bit sweet and that's about it. Hidden alcohol. It kicks Bud Light's ass that's for sure.

This went down like water. I took a few sips just for the review, then downed it in two small gulps. It's not as full or tasty as regular bud, but it's not supposed to be. While drinking regular Bud Light from a can at a party a while back, I found it to be a complete chore and I hated every second of it. I can't stand the stuff. This is a better alternative, although with the gimmick of the cobalt Blue Bottle only currently in 12oz, we'll see what happens. For a Light Malt Liquor this really should stop pretending to be upscale and just get into a 40oz already.

Overall, this beer tastes just way too similar to AB's other beers. It's like a mix of Natural Light, Natty Daddy, Bud Ice and Bud Light. And I think they even made Bud Ice Light at one point but I never tried that. Is this perhaps a reworking of that beer (which was discontinued in 2010)? New bottle, different angle. The 6.0% ABV is quite welcome for something that you can chug like nothin', but I think I'll stick with Natty Daddy for my chasers.

Anheuser Busch Natty Daddy

2012-02-15T17:20:00.005-06:00

Anheuser Busch Natty Daddy (2012)

Year Round (New Release)

24 fl. oz. / $1.50 USD / 8.0% ABV

About: "Natural Light is pleased to announce the launch of its newest offering – Natty Daddy! Natty Daddy is an 8% ABV lager brewed with the same all-natural ingredients as Natural Light. Available only in a 24-oz. can! Brewed with: Water, Barley Malt, Cereal Grains, Hops, Yeast"

Thoughts: How could one improve on the "beauty" that is Natural Light (besides in a number of ways)? I don't know, how about make it 8.0%!? Yeah, that'd probably do the trick.

Nat teh Dad poured a very light yellowish amber with a white puffy bubbly head that actually didn't entirely fade away too fast. Five minutes after the pour there's still a sliver of it left on top. The beer is completely transparent and there are massive amounts of carbonation bubbles rising upward.

Whew. Smells like intensely strong corn mash and mildly sour water. Alcohol and a light spiciness tickles the nose. Even though the hops are minimal, they add a little bit of dimension to the scent. Or is that dementia?

First gulp coming up right now and... wow, that's pretty damn smooth! No bite, and not really a lot of flavor after the swallow. Creamed corn mainly. Let's try it a little slower this time: It's malty, spicy, bready, corny, and pretty sweet tasting overall. Slight alcohol haze on the back of the tongue. It's all minimal, but I for one am impressed. I hate Natural Light (well, pretty much all light beers), but this is one big step up from that.

It's like drinking water. Clean, crisp and refreshing.

I just gave some to the girl next to me and she says it tastes pretty good! Remarkable. Ah, she's got no taste anyhow. The 8.0% is so well hidden amongst the nice cold tingling flavor. Actually I don't know, but this may taste better than Natural Ice. Which, despite what you may have heard, is actually not that fuckin' easy.

Anheuser Busch Natural Ice

2012-02-15T17:08:00.001-06:00

Anheuser Busch Natural Ice (2011)

Brewed and Canned by Anheuser Busch in St. Louis, MO. USA.

Year Round Release.

24 fl. oz. / $1.29 USD / 5.9% ABV

About: "Natural Ice is brewed with a blend of premium American-grown and imported hops and a combination of malt and corn that lends Natural Ice its delicate sweetness. It then undergoes Anheuser-Busch’s exclusive ice-brewing process, which takes the beer to a temperature below freezing and leads to the formation of ice crystals which create its signature rich and smooth taste."

Thoughts: Poured a super light and transparent straw yellow with a practically uniform and bubbly stark white head that about after a minute faded down into nothing at all. Aggresive carbonation bubbles are going completely nuts.

Let's see how it smells. Hmm... it's got quite a strong scent. I wouldn't go as far as to say that it's the most pleasantly scented beer. It smells a bit stale, but fresh at the same time, if that's possible. Uncooked rice and light cream corn mixed. It smells better when it's near frozen.

Little bit of corn taste on the tip of the tongue. It's pretty sweet overall, kinda nice, there's a light malt flow and just a hint of bitter citrus that goes almost unnoticed. The flavor fades out rather quickly after the swallow and leaves little to no aftertaste.

Mouth feel is a little watery and delicately smooth. The swallow tends to be a bit heavy, but that's probably since this beer is meant to be Chugged! Since the smell of this beer pretty much resembles that of a beer you've left out overnight, you're going to want to drink it super ice cold.

Natural Ice gets a horrible rap from pretty much everyone, everywhere. But it is not as all as bad as "they" say. In fact, it's pretty damn good for an "American Adjunct Lager" or a Malt Liquor. I'd go as far as to say that it's probably one of the best tasting beers you'll find in either of these categories hands down. If you're looking for a decent lager at a low price or a quality chaser then look no further than this. Natural Ice is the absolute best tasting brew that you can find at this price, and not only that, but it straight flat-out beats most of the other standard lagers and ice brews flavor-wise that are more expensive.

I like this beer. I like that it's brewed with corn and not rice, unlike Bud. I always thought it special... not special in some bastard child sort of way that most people seem to think it. But ascendingly rather.

Greta Schröder as Ellen Hutter in Nosferatu 1922

2012-02-14T19:54:00.002-06:00

It's "valentines day." Sigh. Today, everyone's got a case of teh VD and not just me. Ha ha. Just kidding kids, I'm clean and not sober. But I can't help but think that these two love-birds are in fact he original Edward and Bella. Double-Sigh with awe. I mean... she's so twitchy and awkward... he's so handsome and stalking... she likes laying around in bed all day not doin' shit... he likes hanging out by her window and watching her sleep. Whoever says Twilight wasn't inspired by trve vampire lore is obviously full of shit.

The inspiration for Bella's constant blank stare.

Look at this smug ass motherfucker! I'd ~~rape~~ seduce his chick too.

Mina.

"Dat face!"

Once the Count gets his eyes on your pretty little girl, it's hard to get his mind back on buying property. Oh, he'll buy it and make his moves, but don't think about coming home until he's done making Ellen's (Mina's) nightmares come to life. "You stay here while I check out your place."

Ellen Sleepwalks for a while and cries for the sexy man at the window who's been watching her sleep.

Then some bad news from afar... there are mosquitos Everywhere!

Ellen (Mina) reads her guy's diary (wut?) and finds that the only way for her to make things right is to offer up her bloode in a seduction that will keep the Count occupied long enough for the sun to rise and destroy him by turning his skin into a revealing diamond shade of glow.

"I just watched Straw Dogs and now I'm gonna try it!"

"WTF! Must... ~~Rape~~... Love... Her..."

"Oh no... I didn't think that would work!" tehehe...

"No please, don't totally pleasure me instead of watching me sleep!"

"Wake up!...

"...it's Time to Die!"

Greta Schröder plays Ellen Hutter (aka Mina Murray-Harker) in Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922). To me she's not as hot as many or most of the other Mina/Lucy characters. Back in the day, she was probably one of the hottest babes around. Her face seems a bit squarish and manly to me. Not to sound harsh. If I had the choice I'd probably let Graf Orlok blow me first. Still, she set a standard back in the day and I must respect that. For Bella's sake.

Isabelle Adjani as Lucy Harker in Nosferatu Phantom Der Nacht

2012-02-13T19:50:00.004-06:00

In the 1979 film Nosferatu the Vampyre directed by Werner Herzog, the always immaculate and gothic beauty Isabelle Adjani plays Lucy Harker (a mix of the Mina Harker and Lucy Westenra characters), who is haunted by Count Dracula... and eventually lays him. To rest, that is.

Lucy's been having bad dreams and a bat has been lingering about her window shade. A while later, after her husband comes back from his business trip, a mysterious figure enters into her bathing quarters.

Of course she did. That's what women do. Intrude upon guy's personal shit!

She goes off about life and what he's presenting and lies about how she will not give herself to him.

Count gets mildly aggressive for a second...

...but falls back when Lucy reveals her cross necklace. Later, after studying the demon, she invites him inside of her and holds him close (with his longing for love and her beautiful features) so that the rising light in the morning hours can claim him.

The sexiest moment of the film... I go insane!

Whenever I watch this scene, all I can think about is how sweet her blood must taste. Nosferatu there was ready to leave before she pulled and begged him back. He knew the time of sunrise was near. But look at this chick. So gorgeous! Would I do the same thing? He already talked about wishing to die. So did she save him or kill him?

Look at her. All proud of death dealing a poor, lost, loveless soul.

...and then she died too.

So sad. You think they're together in the un-afterlife? I think so... because I too believe in True Love.

Kate Beckinsale is Smokin in Uncovered!

2012-02-12T08:58:00.000-06:00

Smokin' ...and Drinkin'(!) ...and topless in this 1994 film. Here's a preview. There will be a little bit more about the (atrocious) transfer of this DVD, the film, some more screenshots and a little review coming later whenever I feel like it. For now, just enjoy these two scenes of Kate Beckinsale succumbing to her vices.

Hmm... I wonder what it is that she sees in that painting? Stay tuned.

Horror Blog of the Month Award

2012-02-11T12:05:00.001-06:00

Maynard Morrissey's HORROR MOVIE DIARY recently chose my crummy little webpage as the Horror Blog of the Month! So go over to his page and check it out and if you haven't already, subscribe to his blog. I'm going to celebrate tonight by drinking shitloads of beer and perhaps taking some screenshots of Kate Beckinsale nude.

I checked out some of the other interviews from the past year, and I gotta say that it's a really cool thing what Maynard is doing. I really liked reading the interviews from those other horror bloggers, and some of them I didn't even know of until I found his page. I feel honored that he asked me for February, and had a pretty cool time with my questions and answers. So uh, yeah, thanks again for the invite. Cheers, mate.

Sadie Frost as Lucy Westenra, Part Final

2012-02-08T21:15:00.004-06:00

I've always found Lucy Westenra to be an intriguing character. Perhaps it the "girl next door" type quality... well, maybe not "next door" per se, but "the girl next door to the girl next door I'm stalking, and since I've got some time, let's let the corruption commence!" type of girl. She's been portrayed many a time by various actresses, and a lot of those times her role has become intermingled with Mina's character (Which I'm cool with, but do not prefer at all!). I like my Lucy as a stand alone slut. Always have and will. Sadie Frost (who should always be blonde) made a perfect Lucy.

She's so hot that she gets her own open glass coffin. Got a problem with that... girls from Massachusetts?

Uh-oh!

After abducting small children to feast on their blood (total newb move), she gets caught by poachers.

Her sexy charm wears off quickly... as she's cold, pale white, and feeding on human flesh. Personally, I'd still go for it.

Van Helsing pulls out his "instrument", and the sexy young thing retreats...

...back into her coffin.

That is of course, before awakening suddenly...

...and spraying that fuck all over...

...with the blood of innocent children! Take that, beyotch.

Sadly of course, after that she lays back down, Van Helsing and the girl's three potential/former lovers proceed to stab her through the heart and chop off her head. :(

I'm calling bullshit on this finish. Not... cool! Not cool.

Monica Bellucci in Bram Stoker's Dracula

2012-02-06T21:06:00.013-06:00

Monica Bellucci is one of the hottest women to ever have lived (perhaps the hottest?), and thankfully in her career, she's played a Vampire Bitch on screen. I love it! This was supposedly her American Debut, and though she was only in the Francis Ford Coppola film "Bram Stoker's Dracula" for a few moments... what sweet moments they were! [NOTE: These screenshots are from the Columbia Superbit DVD]. Let's take a look, shall we?

Okay, first of all she appears out of the bedsheets, showing massive titties and looking hot as all fuck! Is this a dream, or is this reality? Would you care either way? Personally, if it were a dream and someone woke me up, then I'd be so pissed off I'd slaughter whole islands of peoples.

Monica's character, one of the Three Brides of Dracula, rubs herself all over this poor fellow(?), and upon noticing a cross around his neck, she howls at it... evaporating it into a puddle of metal. She then licks up the remains and proceeds to suck the life from Jonathan Harker. Her and her sisters bite into his wrists, neck and dick!

Excuse me while I go tug one out!

Shit gets weird in the end (after the Count busts in the room and condemns the three girls for stealing his meat[!?]) as she's actually attached to the other chick that sucking his lower regions, but you know what, I can dig it. And not only is John one lucky fucker, but so is Keanu. What I wouldn't give to be in that position. I'd write letters to my "true love" for hundreds of years just to get some of this. "My darling... it's so unfortunate that I may never return to you. I'm far too busy not getting sucked off by hot vampire chicks, but rather just dealing property to an old ass weird dude." Deal with it.

Underworld 4: Awakening

2012-02-04T11:15:00.004-06:00

Underworld 4: Awakening 3D (2012) Rated: R. Thanks for joining me in this Spoilerific post. This is a Cinema Review, so let's get on with the quick thoughts of what I uhh... though. Yeah.

I'll talk about what I liked first, which is of course: Kate Beckinsale. Without a doubt the hottest woman on the planet! I will watch anything with Kate in it, but the fact that she's featured so prominently in a horror franchise with vampires and werewolves, wearing nothing but tight black leather, it just makes it that much sweeter. I become fixated and mesmerized by her in these films, and I just can't get enough of her close-up shots. Aside from being drop un-dead gorgeous, she also kicks (and kills) some serious ass here. A lot of fight training really payed off, especially this time around where it's basically non-stop action from start to finish. Selene fucks shit up and leaves a serious path of destruction in Awakening. She's a total badass! She even gets a killer slow-motion walking away scene after showing off some of her skills.

And this path of destruction is GORY as all hell. I may have to go back and revisit the previous films in the series, but this one I do believe has more blood, gore and gross-out moments than all three of the other movies combined. It was sick! The violence is intense, heart pounding, graphic, and explosive. With a runtime of only 88 minutes(!) this may as well be a long Underworld music video. The unending action sequences and blood splattering death scenes are balanced out by the film's beautiful, sleek and colorfully toned look. It all just looks so glossy and magnificent, which is another thing I've really like about this series. A lot of great care is taken with how everything is presented. The 3D wasn't super over the top but there were a lot of great moments where a lot of images came out you (such as glass quickly flying after explosions, blood spattering, ect.) and none of it was overly obvious where it distracted.

A few things I didn't like or that slightly bothered me: The very first thing we see is a pointless recap of the first two films, and I hate that shit. It was less than a minute but it still bugged me. Afterwards they go into a 2D "black and white" news report style intro that sets up the film. That should have been the start of the film and not clips from the previous entries. It was distracting to see all this 2D after all the 3D trailers and before the film officially started. The transition was far from seamless when the new footage hits. Another thing, is they fogged the potential nudity. Just as in part 2 where Katie's ladies were conveniently covered by an arm, CGI smoke and haze filled all of the positive space here, obscuring her body parts. Booo!!1 Scott Speedman wasn't in this, but his character was and it obviously wasn't the same dude. Not that I really care too much about that, as he was hardly in the movie for all of twelve seconds and you never really got a good look at him.

Which brings me to the script. This story is probably the weakest amongst all four movies. I still enjoyed the hell out of Part 3 (for an Underworld film without Kate), but this film just ends up seeming weird in a lot of parts. Some of the dialogue is quite stiff and the very new relationship between mother and daughter needed to be explored deeper than a gentle, two minute scene. In fact, just about every character interaction in this movie seems slightly awkward for some reason or another. Awakening is also essentially an open ended film, which doesn't help matters. On one hand I actually thought it was pretty awesome how fast paced the film was, because everything was just so jam-packed and it never got slow, not once. But this movie could really benefit from a longer cut. Another half hour perhaps? Overall, a very incomplete feeling movie that left an instant gratification, but ultimately will end up best viewed back to back with part 1, 2 and eventually 5. Awakening is a crazy and wild mind escape that is over way too quickly. Recommended. I would have liked to go to the IMAX for this, but it didn't happen this time around. It was kind of funny to see an uncredited Wes Bentley show up only to be dropped out of a window and die falling onto a parked car.

Asia Argento in Demons 2

2012-02-04T06:37:00.000-06:00

In Demons 2, Asia Argento plays the role of Ingrid, the daughter of two apparently rich ass Italian high-rise apartment-dwellers. She's just a cute girl that likes to watch TV and space out. Today she's watching a program documenting the events of the previous film, entitled the "coming of the demons", and she seems to be really enjoying it.

That is until Demons come through the Television to rape her mother's soul and even more severely, her father's bung hole. As she frighteningly holds on to her mother during a shit storm or demonic rampaging activity, she notices something a bit off...

Why's mommy shaking so much?

Because she's been infected and is slowly becoming a Demon, of course!

Bobby Rhodes steps in to keep the young girl and her father away from the Mrs., before pulling a shotgun up and blowing her poor infected ass away! "Sorry lady..."

Wow, that's horrible. She just had to watch her mom get put down. By a possibly homosexual weightlifting instructor no less (must investigate further). I wonder how this day could get any worse for young and traumatized Ingrid?

Perhaps by watching her father now get ripped to shreds by a horde of bloodthirsty creatures while she's locked inside of a car with no other option, but to watch said event!? Yeah, that would just about do it.

Poor thing...

...and then she died.

Nicoletta Elmi in Demons

2012-02-01T20:00:00.002-06:00

Oh no not another one!

In Lamberto Bava's masterpiece of erotic horror Demoni (1985), child-like goddess Nicoletta Elmi plays Ingrid, the Metropol movie theater's usherette. In the film, Ingrid is a bit of an enigma. She seems to be sinister and downright evil every time you get a glimpse of her (always noticing something normal people wouldn't, or pointing flashlights during a movie [annoying much?] or instantly showing up somewhere where something bad is about to happen {with a scowl on her face and a gleam in her eye} - maybe that's her job? Who knows!), but like many of the secrets of the film Demons, you're never given the privilege of truth. Nevertheless, it's the time to enjoy her.


She's got legs... she knows how to ooze them.

That pun didn't even make sense... what the fuck.

"Smoking is not allowed in here!" Line #1.

"Upstairs! Next to the gallery!" Line #2.

"Aaaaahhhhh!" Line #4.

Ain't that some shit. Death by Samurai sword... at work no less. But who was she doing work for? That's what I want to know. What I want you to know is what her THIRD line of dialogue in the film was. Let's make it interesting. Watch the movie and tell me.

Line #5 is "Gurgle Gurgle" obviously. I'll let you guess what her 3'rd line in the film was.

Play the game. You've got nothing better to do!

Lemora: Screenshots Redux

2012-01-29T16:57:00.001-06:00

I found this batch of screenshots saved to my computer that I must have forgotten about posting at some point. I like how everyone in this film is just out there creeping for Lila's sweet tender young flesh. She was after all quite a remarkable little blonde creature.

RIP.

Southern Tier Phin and Matt's

2012-01-26T05:30:00.000-06:00

Southern Tier Phin and Matt's - Extraordinary Ale (2011)

Everyday Availability

12 fl. oz. / $0.78 USD (Sale) / 5.7% ABV

About: "When we sat down to collaborate on this beer, we knew we had to create something extraordinary. After sampling a wide array of great beers, we hit upon an idea: use vast amounts of whole hops, the finest malted barley North America has to offer, and crystal filtered artesian water. Thus creating this classic American style pale ale."

Thoughts: Poured a seriously light amber yellow with a huge fluffy and bubbly white head. Very minimal carbonation bubbles rising, and it's slightly hazy. The glass is looking pretty cool with all those bubbles clinging to the side like that.

Beautiful scent on this one. It's long and lingering. Candy apple sweet. A tingle of sweet hops with a very welcome flowy malt background. Nice.

Grassy hops. Caramel malts. This is a very pleasing beer. It's subtle, yet elegant tasting. You get this little hint of soft oven baked sweet rolls that are sprinkled with a peppery sugar... or a little bit of a caramel coating with not-really-cinnamon.

It's actually quite watery, goes down super smooth with a bit of a bubbly froth at the end of the gulp. Still, a bit more watery than usual though.

Overall, a pleasing taste all around. There's no super sweet, no bitter, no sour and no discomfort. It's just soft and smooth and like a watery candy. Hops and Malts balance equally and they're both identifiable. It's really done so well, even if a bit watery. So far I like this one the best out of the three standard Southern Tier brews that I've tried (Hop Sun and IPA). This one's Nice. Is it Extraordinary? I don't think I'd got that far.

Southern Tier IPA

2012-01-25T05:12:00.000-06:00

Southern Tier IPA - India Pale Ale (2011)

Year Round Release
12 fl. oz. / $0.78 USD (Sale) / 7.3% ABV

Company Statement: "IPA stands for India Pale Ale and ours is an American version of the classic style. IPA’s namesake lies in its colonial roots. British soldiers on their way to India drank a lot of beer, but found it would go stale on the long voyages. Meanwhile, brewers knew that by adding more hops the beer would stay fresh. Voila! A new style was born and it is one we are proud to brew. Southern Tier IPA is triple hopped on its journey to your glass for a fully aromatic experience."

Thoughts: Poured a clear amber orange with a puffy two finger bone white head that slowly made its way down to a frothy one finger head of foamy goodness. I noticed as I was pouring this that a few small bits of hop flowers came out of the bottle... causing me to giggle mischievously like The Sinful Dwarf.

Wow. This is what it's all about. This is the kind of smell that you just want to breath it in all night while you sleep!

Major spices and haze hit the back of my throat, before a flow of circling biscuity malts and flowery hops roll around my mouth. Very peppery, malty and semi-sweet. For an IPA this one is superbly balanced. Whereas the hops in Hop Sun slightly overpower the wheat, the hops and malts here intertwine perfectly. The scent of hops in this IPA is a lot stronger than in the taste. The taste here is just fuckin' smooth as hell. Not a single sour note, just fresh and sweet hops with a brilliant malt backup.

Sweet and spicy. Very smooth. Little bit silky.

I believe this is Southern Tier's flagship beer. It's listed first on their website anyways. Aftertaste is a really cool kind of tingling peppercorn on the upper roof of the mouth. It's also pretty crisp, leaving behind no dryness but rather a clear mouth feel with lingering candy brew flavor.

Southern Tier Hop Sun

2012-01-24T05:06:00.000-06:00

Southern Tier Hop Sun - Summer Wheat Beer (2011)

Summer Seasonal (Limited Yearly Release - March)

12 fl. oz. / $1.79 USD / 5.1% ABV

About: "Pour Hop Sun Summer Wheat Beer into a pint glass, give it a long whiff and you’ll realize that this isn’t your average wheat beer. Filtered to a golden clarity and dry-hopped to perfection, Hop Sun is a fantastic session ale in which flavors of wheat, barley and hops commingle to a refreshing and zesty conclusion. Hints of lemon and sweet malts waft to the fore as a touch of bitterness contributes to Hop Sun’s bright finish. Enjoy Hop Sun all summer long as a perfect balance to your outdoor recreation. Summer never tasted so good."

Thoughts: Hop Sun pours a very light amber color that ends up resembling a bit of a yellowish lime green / orange mix with a stark white one inch bubbly head with a little bit of frothing. It's reletively transparant with only a few carbonation bubbles rising about.

Starts off with a mix of citrus and a little bit of pine. Wheat rounds out a malty ever flowing sensation. This is really a fantastic smelling beer.

The dry hopping they did for this beer hits me first, and then the taste of wheat just makes its way in waves before everything settles back down and the barley malt fades in. After breathing in there's a bit of a hop musk. I'm actually surprised that there are three types of malt in this one and only one variety of hop. Even though the name of this brew isn't Malt Sun, the hops here are pretty dominant. The hops used here were one of the two from their imperial Oat, because I'm getting the same sticky "dusty candy" aftertaste.

This beer is a bit light, very drinkable and is quite crisp.

Overall it's pretty good. For one of their session beers it sure does go down pretty damn smooth and it's nice to see what one of their "normal" beers tastes like. Seeing as I've tried most of their Imperial Bombers and have enjoyed them all, I figured that I'd like this as well. It's a good beer, but still there's that part of me that wishes it was a big bottle of the heavier stuff.

Fiore Argento in Demons... Continued

2012-01-22T17:07:00.000-06:00

So where were we? Oh yes, untimely bloodshed! Mauahaha...

Oh! How unfortunate.

After Tony the Pimp stabs this one demonic sum-bitch and throws him over the balcony, where's he land but right on top of poor frightened Hannah. This guy literally oozes blood all over this chick. It gets all over her face, in her mouth, drenches her clothes and leaves her a hot mess.

Yeah, I'd be grossed out too if some nasty fucker bled all over me.

Judging by that reaction, Tommy must not be that well hung.

After a double dose of fright, Hannah proceeds to get the fuck out of there. Albeit, rather cautiously.

She ends up running right back into the arms of her lost love, Tom. The two of them share an intimate moment before pointing out to each other that the other one seems to be bleeding.

"Don't worry... it's not my blood."

"It's nothing, it's just a scratch."

The two scar crossed lovers find an escape route in an air shaft and start crawling their way to freedom from the demons. Tom keeps hearing scratching noises behind him and worries for Hannah's saftey. At a corner he tells her to get in front (how romantic)... but as they continue to crawl through the tight space, now the scratching seems to be coming from in front of them! That's strange. Or as Tom puts it, "That's impossibru!"

"We're gonna make it. This was a great idea! Te-he-he."

*Scratch Scratch*

*sigh* Young love. Hannah kept rather quiet during her transformation into a Demon, which is strange. Perhaps it's because she simply ingested blood, but until the end of it all, you wouldn't have known. She began acting weird after being bled all over. Instead of escaping with Tom, she desperately wanted to join the others (Why? For more potential victims?). And once inside the enclosed shaft space, where Tom had no possible chance of making it away from her alive, she urged him to go on despite the strange scratching noise. Evil bitch.

Fiore Argento in Demons

2012-01-22T11:09:00.002-06:00

In Lamberto Bava's 1985 film de force Demons, Fiore Argento plays Hannah, a cute girl out on a date with a rather dapper young fellow named Tommy. Tom no doubt must have pulled Hanna by wearing that spiffy sweater tied around his neck, which was apparently the style at the times since nearly every dude in this film is dressed like that.

Back and to the right.

Oh look, she's gone and tugged his sweater. Now it's all fucked up.

The two are caught making out and being naughty by Ingrid, the usherette, who annoyingly walks through the theater waving a flashlight around during the movie. Soon after, a violent scene erupts up on the screen. Hanna looks somewhat traumatized by what she has just seen.

"Don't tease me Tom... is it really, over?"

"Yes, silly!"

Ha! Silly girls, always getting scared and cowering on their boyfriend's sweatshirt wrapped shoulde...

WTF!

As a series of horrifying events unfold and demonic creatures begin to run amok, Hanna gets her titular moment to shine... and whine... and cry. Afterwards, amongst the chaos, she gets separated from Tommy somehow and tries to sneak away beneath the theater's seating.

Well, that can't be good... I wonder what's going to happen.

Stay tuned for Part 2.

Fiore Argento in The Card Player

2012-01-21T19:23:00.002-06:00

Though a rather small role in her father's 2004 film Il Cartaio (aka The Card Player), it's always more of a welcome addition to any of Dario's films (produced or directed) to see his eldest daughter Fiore making an appearance. Not only is she cuter than hell, but she can SCREAM like a goddamn banshee. You think Dario taught her the art of screaming after she was born? Hmm... That's sick.

Fiore plays Lucia Marini, daughter of the Police Commissioner who's overseeing the strange case of a guy (or girl maybe, as they mention numerous times throughout the film re-repeatedly) murdering luscious young vixens on an internet webcam when his forced-to-play police table-mates lose a game of trendy online poker. She's hardly in the film at all; being one of the girls kidnapped, bound, gagged and eventually tortured. Here's the part where I make a sick perverted joke about going "All In": I'm ALL IN, but I'm not going to CALL you afterwards! Cue (s)laughter. And Lucia, huh? Nice nod to Fulci.

The tape and gag do nothing to mask her screams. Her voice is fuckin... Powerful!

I guess she wasn't dressed trashy enough!

TITS OR GTFO?


If you pay attention you'll noticed the raised painted-on eyebrow look often used. That's acting!

I had to get one of her sniffling. She's always rubbing her face which I like in some sick sort of way. I'll not comment on the film at this time (perhaps in the future). I know what's good and I know what totally sucks... but as for something wrong I found about it? Not enough Fiore. She really should have been this serial killer's... ACE in the hole! Ha! Oh no not another one!? Once again too many internet references. This gorgeous young woman needs more recognition. I shall provide.

Rogue Dead Guy Ale

2012-01-21T07:35:00.002-06:00

Rogue Dead Guy Ale (2011)

Year Round Release.
64 fl. oz. (1/2 Gallon Growler) / $17.99 USD / 6.5% ABV

About: "In the early 1990s Dead Guy Ale was created as a private tap sticker to celebrate the Mayan Day of the Dead (November 1st, All Souls Day) for Casa U Betcha in Portland, Oregon. The Dead Guy design proved so popular with consumers and especially Grateful Dead fans, that we made it the label for our Maierbock ale. Even though the association with the Grateful Dead band is pure coincidence, we have gratefully dedicated Dead Guy Ale to the Rogue in each of us." Malts: Northwest Harrington, Klages, Maier Munich and Carastan / Hops: Perle and Saaz / Yeast and Water: Rogue's Pacman Yeast and Free Range Coastal Water.

Thoughts: When I cracked this growler open I took a look inside and noticed creepy, swirling smoke that reminded me of dark nights creeping through the graveyard. Very plan 9 like fog. Poured a very amber looking amber that settled into an almost orange tone but not really with a one inch slightly off white head that stuck around for a few minutes. The brew is really hazy, but I can make out tons of carbonation bubbles rising up the sides of the glass.

This smells pretty incredible. Heavy bits of sweet malted toffee candy bars. Cold and smokey like a dark Halloween night. It also very slightly reminds me of those chocolate cereal straws that you drink milk through. After a while of drinking it smells like straight up Graham Crackers. Nice!

That's pretty damn good. Sweet honey-like malts flow forward then retreat and afterwards these peppery hops start to bounce their way in and tingle around. Bitter hops resonate on the back of the tongue after breathing in for a while. Something cool about this beer, keep it in your mouth for a while and the process repeats itself once before settling down to that lingering bitterness. This beer is really sweet. Not super chocolatey, but a minor chocolate touch on lovely biscuity malt with a touch of honey and sugar.

Medium near almost-heavy body. Leaves behind a bit of filmy aftertaste.

This is my first time drinking Dead Guy Ale. I bought this, not only because I wanted to try it for so long, but also because I wanted the Growler with that cool ass artwork. Seeing as I was slightly unimpressed with the last two Rogue ales I had tried, I was a bit worried. Well that thought was put to rest when I drank this. Dead Guy is brewed with Saaz hops, but I didn't taste any funk this time around. Strange that the few beers that I seriously disliked, I later found out all had Saaz hops in them. Perhaps it was a mix of Saaz and overly strong Belgian yeasts that was the problem, or bad batches. No matter. This beer tasted perfectly fine and I finished this growler off in a single sitting, leaving me feeling comfortably swell.

Take a look at this great artwork!

Favorite Death Scenes Part 2

2012-01-20T17:57:00.001-06:00

When I first witnessed the opening scene of Dario Argento's Phenomena (1985) back when I was sixteen years old, about ten years after the film was made, it left me dazed, stunned and astonished. A mix of strange and interesting visuals, set to the music of Bill Wyman and Terry Taylor's "The Valley", this scene was at first a slow boil that eventually erupted into an intense, psychotic and unnerving murderous situation. Fitting was the title of the film, as I had viewed it at the time under the CUT US VHS Retitled Version known as "Creepers". Especially so since this was a Creeper of a scene, and I myself that fateful night was tripping off some very heavy Creeper Green, twisting my mentality and thus thrusting me headlong into the fucked up aura that is the world of Dario Argento. This was the third Argento film I had seen, after UNCUT duped versions of Deep Red and Tenebrae. But enough about me (again)... welcome to Part 2 of Death!

Vera Brandt (Dario Argento's beautiful other daughter, Fiore) is out on a school trip with her class in the Swiss Countryside, when she somehow gets separated from the group and is left behind. Even though she waves them down (and not to mention the bus turns completely around to go down hill and they still don't see her), this poor girl is left out in the deepening cold emptiness of the Swiss winds. Let's learn a lesson from the Swiss, shall we?

That's when the music kicks in. The credits roll as we pass over the trees, accompanied by one of the greatest soundtrack compositions ever created. Vera, lost, alone and stranded in the cold, wipes the tears from her eyes. And while it is some saddening stuff, the vibe is getting creepier by the second. That's when she notices a lone house far in the distance.

The camera follows closely behind as this young girl makes here way down the isolated road towards the house. The ominous music spells nothing other than complete lonesomeness and horrifying impending death, but the viewer can do nothing more than look on with excited interest. As she approaches the house, we see that someone is spying on her every action and behavior. And that's when the chains screwed into the walls begin to get tugged furiously. What in the fuck!?

"Hello! Is anyone home?" she cries. Chains rattle once more while someone looks at this cute girl through a window. What's with the chains? Could someone possibly be chained up somewhere in the house and spying on her at the same time? That seems rather unlikely. There's a great panning shot from behind as Vera walks trough the strange empty house. "Is anyone home? I'm a foreigner, unt I'm lost!" One of my favorite lines from the film.

Now that it's off the chain, some complete and utter madness is no doubt about to go down. As this lost young girl wanders aimlessly around the seemingly empty building, something creeps up behind her and throws chains around her neck! Yes, the very chains that were ripped out of the wall. During the struggle to remove the binding metal around her neck, a table is accidentally knocked over and scissors pierce the floor boards.

As this frightened young girl attempts to run away in fear and open the door, she's furiously stabbed through the hand with the sharp old-school instrument. She screams in panic as she looks upon her wounded left hand and whimpers before pulling the scissor blade out of her flesh. A fantastic sequence.

Cut to her exiting the building in a timely fashion, post haste, holding her injured palm and running like fuck! She's creaming... excuse me... screaming in agony and fearing for her very life. There seems to be some weird shit going on which doesn't make sense at first... but perhaps it might not later on, either. Let's just sit back and enjoy the weirdly exciting scene of the hot chick being violently slaughtered. Smiley face.

She goes running through these rocky corridors above flowing waterfalls and a rapidly gushing lake, screaming for about what seems like three full minutes! Probably more. Her eyeballs are darting all over the place every time she turns around and screams. Whatever is about to happen to her can't be good, but now I'm just stating the obviousness. Notice in the picture below that she seems to be looking up at someone right before she gets stuck.

She screams like a dumb bitch and then spreads her arms wide open, also like a dumb bitch, allowing whoever or whomever or whatever to stab this chick with some scissors in the gut area. Did they say "Freeze!"? Put your hands up! Done in by scissors, ain't that some shit. What happens next is one of the greatest moments in Dario's many slow-motion artisan shots. Using his always special and experimental camera and film techniques, he gets the better frame rate to see his little girl get hit square in the face with glass, glass and more glass before she dies.

It really is one outstanding scene. A thing of beauty. And left me speechless the first time.

All I could feel was a tingling inside myself. I came.

Her head is later hacked off (presumably not by the pair of scissors that had initially done her in) and drops off of a cliff into the white water rapids. Or is that green water rapids? It makes a really cool squishy sound when she's beheaded too. Pqwht! Thus delivering her pretty little head into the red water rapids below. We also get a blink or you'll miss it scene of her body's reflection in the lake being dragged away. The head however, is found some eight and a half months later.

Some time later...

"When a dead body is exposed to the elements, sooner or later it's eaten up by insects. First comes the common fly... lays its eggs in the rotting corpse. And thus the cycle begins. In the case of this head, the cycle not only seems to be complete, but to have been repeated!"

Larvae... of the great sarcophagus.

Gotta love it.

Dogfish Head Pearl Jam Twenty Faithfull Ale

2012-01-20T05:24:00.003-06:00

Dogfish Head Pearl Jam Twenty Faithfull Ale - Ale Brewed with Currants (2011)

Occasional Rarity (Limited Release)

25.4 fl. oz. / $14.99 USD / 7.0% ABV

About: This is a concept beer combining the band's love of fruitful Pinot Noirs and Mexican Lagers. "We did a very low hopped Belgian golden ale, we fermented it at cooler temperatures which subdues the spicy fruit notes of the Belgian Yeast to allow the more robust notes to shine through. [It's] fruit-forward from 10 incremental additions of black currants over a one-hour boil."

"To me, 'Ten' is the perfect example of a record-lover's-record. The whole thing rocks," says Dogfish Head President and Founder Sam Calagione. "As an off-centered brewery, we believe in celebrating the breadth of our whole portfolio and we feel an affinity for Pearl Jam a long-player band in a singles-obsessed world."

Thoughts: Poured a very light yellowy amber that resembled a mellow gold in the glass. The bubbly head was slightly off-white and faded pretty quickly.

Smells like lager for the most part, but with a little bit of a fruity tone. Not really much going on here. It's a bit like sliced pears from a can, corn flakes and cigarette smoke.

A bittersweet, smokey and malty brew with a very light hop bite at the end and a lingering sour spot left at the back of the tongue. The Belgian yeast they attempted to subdue is still present, it's spicy and apparent, yet not overly harsh.

Dry and a little crisp. Kind of feels like a wine. It's a bit bland overall. I'm pleased with the spice of the Belgian yeast and that the harshness of it is held back, but for the price, this just doesn't cut it for me. Although, I will say that Sam's aim to create a blend of "Pinot Noirs and Mexican lagers" is no doubt successful with Faithfull Ale.

This beer is easily drinkable and definitely not a sipper. But would you want to slam down a fifteen dollar brew in a couple minutes? I'm not going to. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into with this one. It's basically a light Belgian Lager, which I don't mind. It's not bad really, not by any means, but it should be better. Hey, just like Pearl Jam's music. Whatdoyaknow.

Sierra Nevada Torpedo

2012-01-18T04:56:00.003-06:00

Sierra Nevada Torpedo - Extra IPA (2011)

Year Round (Standard Release)

12 fl. oz. / $1.69 USD / 7.2% ABV

About: "Around here, we take hops pretty seriously, which is why we weren’t satisfied with the standard method of dry hopping for our first year-round IPA. We spent years tinkering, tasting, and tweaking ways to get the biggest and best hop flavors and aromas into our beer. Our persistence has paid off. Our obsession with harnessing huge hop flavor led to the development of what we call the hop torpedo, a revolutionary method of dry-hopping designed, built, and debuted here at the brewery. Our torpedo is a sleek, stainless-steel piece of hardware that delivers more pure hop aroma than any method of dry-hopping we’ve ever seen. Like all our beers, Torpedo Extra IPA uses only the best whole-cone hops possible making this delicious ale worth the wait. Malts: 2-Row Pale and Crystal / Bittering Hops: Magnum / Finishing Hops: Magnum and Crystal / Dry Hops: Magnum, Crystal and Citra."

Thoughts: Poured a bit of a light gold yellow that formed into a hazy, grainy, near-transparent auburn golden orange with a tad of red and a lighter orange off-white foamy head. There are several hundred suspended bits of hops in there, almost unnoticeable throughout the beer and a few carbonation bubbles rising up.

A classic Sierra Nevada scent. Beautiful hops that open nasal passages and create inner orgasmic mind flows. Grassy hops, earthy hops, sweet and semi-bittersweet hops. There's also some hops in there too.

Does Sierra Nevada ever disappoint? 'Fraid not, don't think so! Starts off really strong, but gets so smooth just afterwards. Bitter, but as it smooths out it gets even a little sweet. Solid hop bomb with a sweet finishing touch thanks to the minor malts here. Citrusy, piney and grassy while maintaining a fair balance and gentle fallback.

Very bubbly, a little bit thick and frothy yet goes down super smooth. Very pleasing on the tongue.

A very accessible strong IPA that exemplifies the beautiful all around taste that Sierra Nevada produces on a regular basis. These guys know... they just know, what tastes good. This brew is a heavy hitter, but with a softer side. Pleasing to all the senses, and fine, fine quality. I really should have bought a 32oz of this instead of the single from the fridge. Next time.

Long Hair of Deathness.

2012-01-16T05:17:00.000-06:00

Long Hair of Deathness (2008) Pen on paper. Not really much to say about this one as it pretty much says it all itself. I like the little details I gave the skull, arched eyebrow, blackened tooth, dripping makeup, forehead stitching... same old shit I seem to always do. I went totally off with the signature out of boredom probably.

Ah, Gothic horror. What's not to love?

Cambridge Brewing The Audacity of Hops

2012-01-15T07:54:00.004-06:00

Cambridge Brewing The Audacity of Hops - Belgian Style Double IPA (2011)

Brewed and Bottled by Cambridge Brewing Co., in Cambridge, MA. USA.

Winter Seasonal? - December (Limited Release) - Batch #1.

22 fl. oz. / $7.49 USD / 9.0% ABV

About: "Liberally hopped to an audacious degree, our Belgian Double IPA reaches across the aisle to bridge the seemingly contradictory brewing philosophies of the old world and new. Our beer uses generous portions of Pilsner and Vienna malts to give it its hazy golden color and rocky white head. Two independent dry hop additions of Simcoe, Chinook, Amarillo, Hallertauer, and Spalt put aside their differences to form a delicious coalition. Floral grassiness dominates the nose with fruity hints of bright citrus well represented. Its subtle spicy flavor comes from a Belgian yeast as well as generous doses of German hops in the kettle. These aggressive flavors are complemented by a determined bitterness and a full but dry finish. All of these characteristics come together in a nonpartisan spirit of cooperation to form a beer that is both righteously flavorful and drinkable."

Thoughts: At first this beer poured one of the lightest straw yellows that I've ever seen! Furiously with a huge super opaque white head, the beer gets a little darker and pretty hazy quick in the glass. There's quite a few carbonation bubbles rising up.

Let's smell it. Yeah, this one will wake you up. Dark lord! It's as if that huge f'n hop on the bottle art just crawled up my nose and exploded all over my brain. Sweet, spicy, little bit of pine and flowers. It takes a while for that Belgian yeast to come through, but if you breath in for half a minute it shows up.

Taste time. Ooh! The Audacity! Initial hop bite that blasts the head backwards. Swishing around the mouth, and it tastes pretty damn sweet. Breathing in there's a little pop of that spicy yeast and bitterness. After the first hop bite it gets a bit smoother, though it's still strong. Almost blinding, like an over chlorinated pool. I know that probably sounds strange or bad, but don't worry... if you're into hop bombs then you'll totally dig this. Belgian yeast doesn't overtake the brew, but rather falls into the background. It's peppery, flowery, and not too bitter all around. Slight bit of citrus funk in the aftertaste. Alcohol is well hidden, probably since it's overpowered by the immense taste.

Medium thick, frothy and heavy hitting.

The head on this brew is going nowhere as I drink it. I'm pretty sensitive to Belgian yeast and while it's somewhat noticeable here it's still very laid back and I like that. It gives the beer a more of a unique flavor that mixes in very well, and is nothing short of enjoyable. I've still got to figure out which one of these hops is giving me that dusty, stale, grandma's hard candy taste. You know, the jar of candy where you go to take one but the whole bunch lifts up with it because it's been so long? It's pretty minor though. Probably just the grassy tone hitting me hard. They obviously chose a perfect name for this beer.

I poured the rest of the bottle into my pint glass, and now almost finished with the bomber, I'm noticing a few little bunches of friends around the bottom. Sediment or bits of hop flowers... I hope it's one of those ...looks like cracked black pepper and I'm going to drink it. Cheers!

Cambridge Brewing Scotch Ale

2012-01-15T07:46:00.002-06:00

Cambridge Brewing Bannatyne's Scotch Ale (2011)

Brewed and Bottled by Cambridge Brewing Co., in Cambridge, MA. USA.

Winter Seasonal - December (Limited Release) - Batch #1.

22 fl. oz. / $6.59 USD / 9.2% ABV

About: "This strong ale style comes directly from Scotland, boasting a huge, complex maltiness and very full body, which finishes with a long, herbal, hoppy dryness. We craft this traditionally big, malty beer from imported Scottish Maris Otter pale malt and a touch of roasted barley. We then caramelize the strong wort in the kettle and subject it to extended cold-conditioning to round out its myriad complexities. Intriguing flavors of caramel, chocolate, molasses, and a hint of treacle are not uncommon to those perceptive of palate, so slip on that old kilt (wear whatever you want underneath- we’re pretty open-minded.) and enjoy!"

Thoughts: Poured a dark reddish brown with a very slim tan head that depleted rapidly. The beer is hazy, and the slightest bit see through. I'm not seeing much carbonation bubbles.

Smells like sweet coffee. Wasn't expecting that. Loads of malt coming through.

Doesn't taste like coffee, thankfully. It's a bit fruity, like black cherries. Very warm and pleasing. Slight bit of tart afterburn. Little bit of a smokey almost banana split with candy shell topping. Caramel, hints of spices, with a low alcohol haze in the background. Roasted malts, raisins, sugary sweetness, and almost an unnoticeable amount of dark chocolate.

Medium, and a bit syrupy. Very rich and creamy. Prepare yourself.

This is like a mix of a big Scotch Ale and a little bit of a Stout. This beer is strong and seriously malty. Overall a pretty cool beer. It's been a short while since I had a downright mean and nasty malt bomb like this. I like it.

Pen.

2012-01-14T19:16:00.003-06:00

When you write something so utterly terrible and fucked up, people figure you insane, you get locked away and are eventually powerless over what has become the rest of your horrified inescapable consciousness... who was really to blame!? Your brain? Or something else entirely...?

This is a piece of semi-abstract art that I did back in (2003) entitled PEN. This pencil drawing happened out of pure nothingness (per usual), but I've kept it for these years and often wondered as to what it meant. Perhaps the pen itself is a demon that speaks the mind while the writer simply goes along. The madness behind the writing was my forgone conclusion...

Dogfish Head Theobroma

2012-01-14T07:55:00.001-06:00

Dogfish Head Theobroma - Ale Brewed with Honey, Cocoa Nibs, Cocoa Powder, Ancho Chilies and Ground Annatto (2010)

Brewed and Bottled by Dogfish Head Craft Brewing Inc., in Milton, DE. USA.

Occasional Rarities (Limited Release - April [when and if brewed])

25.4 fl. oz. / $13.94 USD / 9.0% ABV

About: "This beer is based on chemical analysis of pottery fragments found in Honduras which revealed the earliest known alcoholic chocolate drink used by early civilizations to toast special occasions. The discovery of this beverage pushed back the earliest use of cocoa for human consumption more than 500 years to 1200 BC. As per the analysis, Dogfish Heads Theobroma (translated into 'food of the gods') is brewed with Aztec cocoa powder and cocoa nibs (from our friends at Askinosie Chocolate), honey, chilies, and annatto (fragrant tree seeds)."

Thoughts: Picked myself up this special treat. My fourth of the Dogfish Head Ancient Ales series. I read about this in an old Draft magazine interview before it was actually made, so I've been wanting to try it.

Theobroma poured a lot lighter than I thought it would be. A real hazy dark yellow with shades of orange, and a head that was incredibly slow to form and apparently had somewhere to go real quick. There's a little foamy island left in the corner of this brew, and I'm seeing incredibly light carbonation.

Smells heavily of cocoa and a little bit like a mocha. Very subtle fruity hop tones laying low. Overall very sweet smelling with a little bit of the spicy.

There's a swirling of tastes that comes off rather immediately. I get that honey, and the fallback from the ancho chilies, hops that flow in and out and the cocoa is coating. A fruity tingling slowly rumbles its way into the mouth and gives off a strong tinge, causing a slight pucker.

...Alright, let it warm. Poured it once again in the glass. Huge frothy, bubbly head that's popping mad! It's diminishing at quite a rapid rate that's it's as if I'm watching something fade away in fast forward. Very Strange, yet really cool looking. It went from two inches to nearly nothing in about a minute and kind of reminded me of that dead body decaying in Der Todesking! Mmmm...

Smell is fruity up front. Loads of honey and cocoa. Hops lay in wait. Low malty undertones this time around. Taste is sweet overall. The level of alcohol comes through in a spicy haze that blurs the senses. Also, the brew's true flavor seems to shine once it warms. It's a bit lighter than their usual fare. Goes down rather easily, like water. Leaves a little bit of a spicy residue in the mouth, but it's not really strong at all. Very pleasing, yet, not terribly exciting.

I wonder, way back in the day if this was truly the "drink of the gods", then I'm sure they were some very pleased, short lived motherfuckers. I liked this beer. Didn't love it. It slightly reminds me of Wachusett's Milk Stout, only a bit stronger. The 9% ABV is decently hidden, but I like the way it comes through. I would have liked a bit more of those chilies. I'm a heat fiend. This Ale tastes good, but I've never been one to understand the mixing of cooling chocolate with heating chilies. The cocoa always seems to take over. I'd buy this again if they made it to the extreme, but it seemed a bit tame (though I have been drinking a lot of crazy shit lately). I appreciate what they were going for, and with the history of this type of beverage it is special, but my gods... are not their gods. If you buy this don't even bother putting it into the fridge.

Favorite Death Scenes Part 1

2012-01-13T18:31:00.018-06:00

Well, Unhappy Friday the 13th! Being a horror fiend it's obligatory for us all to post on this splendidly unfortunate day. Well, I've got bad news and bad news... and worser news too. There are three Friday the 13th's in the year 2012. So expect two more of these special occasions in the next near few months (April and July to be exact) from all the insane bloggers. I did one two years ago, skipped the one last year (due to blacking out and waking up butt-ass-naked in a field full of dismembered and bloody sheep guts) and wasn't planning anything for this one... but one idea blended with an older idea now brings you: screenshots of my Favorite Horror Deaths! Part 1.

Let's keep it short and sweet. The film is Jason X. The year was 2001. The film is AKA Friday the 13th Part 10, aka JaXon. Maybe I made that last one up. Kristi Angus (whom I mistook for Bridgette Wilson for years even though I've only seen her in this) plays Adrienne, a totally hot as all hell sexy scientist bitch aboard a spacecraft, and about to regenerate a previously cryogenically frozen Jason Voorhees. What luck. Little does she or anyone else know, this motherfucker ain't dead! While Jason lays there on the operating table, two of the spaceship's other occupants begin to have naughty naughty sex, and he begins to thaw. Unbeknownst to the girl in the room with him, of course. Let's break this one down old-school style (no vid, just pics):

Alright, Casanerda is up there with his ultra-sexy android g/f touching her lick-n-stick nipple while two of the other yung-dumb-n-fulla-cumsters are licking belly-buttons and moaning like softcore professionals. Jason starts to twitch at every moan and groan, eventually clenching his fist in extreme anger! [Note: I've never seen a fist being closed convey so much emotion, and I'm like, totally dead serious.]

As the girl upstairs in the Orgasm Corridor squirts her futuristic love juice, Jason suddenly wakes the fuck up! And what does he smell? Well I don't know, but this chick probably smells pretty damn good. And judging by how snobby she was about her work earlier, she may just be on the rag. So let's just assume that she smells pretty DAMN good!

She hears a strange noise and turns around only to find her Specialman missing his link. That's strange... then suddenly, without warning:

...Ka-Pow! Right in the kisser.

Jason drags this up-n-cummin' deadster by the hair, slowly pulling up her tube-top slut-gear while he does so, (almost) exposing some sweet mammary glandage. But we all know Jason doesn't want to see that shit. He just wants to see DEAD!

"No no no please don't stuff my face into the unprotected, uncovered and totally unsafe futuristic freezing agent station!"

So Jason proceeds to stuff her face into the unprotected, uncovered and totally unsafe futuristic freezing agent station. Thereby freezing her pretty face in a matter of seconds!

Snap...

Crackle...

...POP!

Jason pulls her head out of the insta-freeze liquid, looks at the bitch, and then furiously smashes her head down upon the table with a fury of a thousand OG's yellin out "Domino MuthaFucka!"

And that's Splat. From the very first time I watched Jason X, this has and is will be always been one of my favorite death scenes. Everything from the set-up, to the beautiful girl, to her clothing (so hot!), to the Rage that Jason shows, to the way that he completely manhandled her (almost ripping that shirt right off her), to the graphic and well done Gore, to the totally brutal way he just throws her down to the ground when he's done. That's the clincher. He fuckin' drops her, like, GTFO... only no TITS.

Too many internet references.

Southern Tier Imperial Farmer's Tan

2012-01-11T19:33:00.001-06:00

Southern Tier Imperial Farmer's Tan - Pale Lager (2011)

Summer Seasonal (Limited Yearly Release - May)

22 fl. oz. / $8.99 USD / 8.6% ABV

About: "The hallmark of hard work. Neolithic humans evolved from nomadic hunters into a more settled agricultural society, changing life forever. The "founder" crops they raised included wheat and barley. It is little surprise that the first examples of brewing appeared during this age. Brewers owe much to that epoch. Similarly, we thank our farmer friends of today for cultivating the ingredients that are responsible for the beers we now enjoy. Their laborious days spent outdoors under the hot sun earn them respect, as well as a mark of distinction: the farmer’s tan. So, roll up your sleeves and turn the soil. Just be sure to chill a bottle of Farmer’s Tan to enjoy after work. Malts: 2-Row Pale, European Pilsner, White Wheat / Kettle Hops: Magnum, Mount Hood / Dry Hops: Santium, Sterling and Mount Hood."

Thoughts: Poured a very light straw yellow that has now become the most transparent beer I've ever witnessed, with a huge two finger fluffy white head. No carbonation bubbles rising up. Kinda looks like the color of the sun in the light, though not as blinding.

Smells strong. Wheat and hops that are ready to blast off. It's got a somewhat fruity tone. Spicy with a touch of moldy honey, and a little flowery as well. Slightly pungent, but at the same time you get a hint of candy.

Wow. First gulp was like a roller coaster ride. This is one tasty pils! Grassy, wheaty hops with a gentle malt backup that slowly rises and evens things out before retreating. Peppery, musty hops after breathing in. This beer goes through some really cool circling of flavor stages. High alcohol is laying low tonight, probably behind the little bit of funk. Or maybe I'm just used to it. Despite that, this brew is relentlessly strong! So watch out.

This is one thick feeling brew. Seriously full bodied... which is absolutely nuts considering it's the clearest beer I've ever seen. Then again, it's got artwork of a rooster with a farmer's tan which implies that it had been wearing a short-sleeve shirt and that's pretty weird too. Kinda funny though.

Aftertaste is a bit of sweet grass and strong grapefruit on the back of the tongue. If this had just a bit more of a malt presence it would be perfect. After a short while it gets a bit chalky, like earthy minerals. Little bit drying. Not my favorite Southern Tier by far, but it's different from their others and that's what really matters. They don't make the same beer over and over and just name it something else. All that said, you gotta have a strong will (and tongue) to get down with the farmer's tan. It's pretty brutal, but in a very good way.

Southern Tier Imperial Oat

2012-01-11T16:07:00.002-06:00

Southern Tier Imperial Oat - Oatmeal Stout - BlackWater Series (2011)
Autumn Seasonal (Limited Yearly Release - August)

22 fl. oz. / $8.99 USD / 10.8% ABV

About: "Brewed for the harvest. This beer begins in spring when oat seeds are sown as soon as the soil can be worked. Meanwhile, select types of barley are planted with hopes that Mother Nature will be kind. Our brewers wait patiently until the legumes are mature and ready for the scythe. Upon delivery to the brewery, these ingredients are mixed together in the mash tun where they steep, creating a rich molasses-like liquid. Spicy hops are boiled with the thick brew, giving balance and complexity. Brewers yeast feasts upon the rich sugars, concluding its transformation into oatmeal stout. Malts: 2-row Pale, Caramel, Chocolate, Black / Hops: Columbus and Willamette / Oats / Barley Flakes."

Thoughts: Poured a dark chocolate hued brown with a rapidly becoming tan head of all different sized bubbles.

Still cold, smells chocolatey first of all. Like a really sweet cereal. Liquified candy.

Tangy alcohol, tons of caramel malt, bitter almost chalky, barley and oats. There's a sticky sweetness to it. The hops at the end make it a little weird, especially after how roasted malty it is to begin with. It's not really sour or bitter, but "dusty" rather. Little grimy. And this stout is definitely a lot sweeter than other stouts I have tried. It's not coffee or chocolate bomb, but a twangy candy oatmeal. Not chocolate milk, but oatmeal or cereal... I remember there was this Quaker Oats oatmeal back when I was about twelve that had a syrup packet in it (that looked like red goo - cherry I think) that you could mix on top. This tastes just like it. Plus alcohol.

It's not as thick as I expected. A thin medium that tastes more like syrup than it feels.

Well I'm still not really too much into stouts, and this will probably end up being my least favorite out of the Southern Tier line. Just for that bit of old stale candy funk the hops deliver. It really pales in comparison to their Choklat. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing considering Choklat is one of the most insane and flavorful beers out there. Otherwise, overly and perfectly enjoyable.

Here's Joker Skull

2012-01-10T16:46:00.001-06:00

Here's the newest addition in my designs for a series that I'm calling "Masks!" A series where I design what I, hopefully in the near future, get to see made into foam latex (and other types of) Halloween masks. This one is as of now unofficially called Joker Skull (2012). [Pencil, Colored Pencil, Watercolor Pencil and Pen]

It's a full size rubbery and wiggly-jawed dome cover mask with a stupidly extended jaw full of sharp demonic teeth. This piece of art went through several stages of coloring which damn near ruined parts of it, so I decided to quit while I was behind. I didn't really get the time to detail the skin and shirt as I had thought about doing, since by this point trying would be futile. So I decided to make it simple tones instead, to exemplify the idea of the mask itself. Un-Enjoy.

Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron

2012-01-09T05:27:00.001-06:00

Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron (2011)

Year Round (Standard Release)

12 fl. oz. (x3) / $11.97 USD / 12.0% ABV

About: "An unfiltered, unfettered, unprecedented brown ale aged in handmade wooden brewing vessels. The caramel and vanilla complexity unique to this beer comes from the exotic Paraguayan Palo Santo wood from which these tanks were crafted. Palo Santo means "holy tree," and its wood has been used in South American wine-making communities. At 10,000 gallons, our Palo tank is the largest wooden brewing vessel built in America since before Prohibition (and we have two same-sized oak tanks right next to it). Food Pairing Recommendations: Steak, chorizzo sausage, cajun cuisine, farmhouse cheddar / Glassware Recommendation: Pint / Wine Comparable: Oak-aged cabernet."

Thoughts: Poured black as night with a two-inch sparkling tan head.

Wow. This smells awesome! And really good too. Unique. The scent that this Paraguayan Palo Santo wood gives this brew is quite simply remarkable. Light caramel and vanilla. This reminds me of the California beaches at night, sitting around a toasty bonfire drinking beers. This smells of the air those nights. I wish the beer I was drinking back then smelled like this too.

I got a variety of malty tastes before that high alcohol flooded in. Cherries, dark fruits, roasted caramel covered Smores, that Palo Santo Wood, then a light blasting haze of blinding alcohol fume. I love it. This is what I want in a beer. A great smokey, woody taste that's sweet and savory, with a high tint of powerful liquor that blends in at just the right amount. Three beautiful stages of agonizing bliss.

Foamy, tingling, with a little bit of a sting.

This beer is Fantastic. Absolutely Fantastic! I don't usually sip beer all too much, but there's no way in hell this beer can be gulped or chugged. It's just so rich and flavorful. Not to mention it's got a kick that'll knock you on your ass if you even try. I drank this one only moderately cold and let it warm as I sipped it. Perhaps I'll try one of the last from my three pack at room temperature just to see what happens (and I think I'll stick on in the closet for a year - it I can wait that long). Though a lot heavier than the others I've ever tried, this is by far the best Brown Ale I've ever had. Aftertaste is almost like I just ate rib-eye steak with red wine.

Samuel Adams and Weihenstephan Infinium

2012-01-08T06:23:00.004-06:00

Samuel Adams and Weihenstephan Infinium (2011)
Brewed and Bottled by The Boston Beer Co., in Boston MA and Hammondsport, NY. USA.

Limited Release (Yearly - December)

25.4 fl. oz. / $18.99 USD / 10.3% ABV

About: "Our brewers worked for two years with the world’s oldest brewery, Germany’s Weihenstephan, to create this unique new beer style. A groundbreaking brew, made with only the four traditional ingredients: malted barley, hops, water and yeast. Infinium is dry-hopped with Bavarian Noble hops for a light citrus flavor. Its then bottle-conditioned with a traditional Belgian yeast and fermented in the champagne-method to add another layer of flavor complexity, a bright clarity, and a fine carbonation to the beer. Malt Varieties: Custom blend of two-row malted barley, malted spring white wheat, and malted oats / Hop Varieties: Hallertau Mittlefrueh, Spalt Spalter, Tettnang Tettnanger and Hersbrucker Noble Hops / Yeast Strain: Samuel Adams ale yeast, Belgian yeast."

Thoughts: Major smoke as I popped the double-logo printed cork. Poured a pale light straw yellow that settled into an orange hue, with a huge white puffy head full of small rotating bubbles. Lots of carbonation coming up from my Sam Adams glass. It's quite a beautiful looking beer.

Getting some nice malts and hops mingling together. It's a bit yeasty too. There most surely is going to be a yeast snap in this one. Overall the scent is fruity and sweet. Like soft apples, sweet green apples or white grapes.

First taste note is very fruity. Spices come through afterwards and tickle the tongue. Low alcohol zing around the end while breathing in. This is a well balanced beer with that zesty yeast just almost creeping in a little too much but it falls back accordingly. Flavors seem to roll around in circles, and overall the taste is quite nice. A little heavy on the yeast side still, but not as bad as some of the other brews I've reviewed. It's not overdone. For this beer, I think that they stopped and bottled it at just the right time.

Frothy, bubbly, with a little bit of bite.

I poured two glasses for the first time, but my girl couldn't get through five sips of the stuff so I got to drink all of it. And no, I didn't mind that at all. It reminds me of this old André Wine that I stole from my folks' cabinet when I was young, only not as drying. For me this one has a bit too much of an apple taste though. The strong alcohol is nice, as is the balance and even the yeast, but overall the taste isn't the most satisfying in terms of expectations. I guess I'm lucky that I got this for nineteen dollars as opposed to the one and two dollar jump-ups these bottles got just after I bought mine. It should be fifteen at the most but I'm not dwelling. It was an OK experience, but it's time to move on.

Jinmen.

2012-01-07T15:52:00.005-06:00

Jinmen (2008, Pencil, Colored Pencil, Watercolor Pencil, Pen, and Silver Spider Writer on 80# Rose Quartz Passport Cover Paper). Jinmen, a character from Go Nagai's Devilman series, is a Demonic Tortoise who devours souls and keeps the faces of those he's acquired unto the back of his shell. He's a cackling, sarcastic and repetitive son of a bitch who in the OAV, tormented Akira and kept him from getting murderous (for a short while at least) since his mother's soul was trapped in that gruesome shell.

Jinmen's fate for fucking with Devilman was rewarded with extreme brutality and dismemberment. What the fuck did you expect? Though, the battle left Akira slightly traumatized, yet relieved that his mother's soul was finally at rest.

Southern Tier Gemini

2012-01-05T05:34:00.003-06:00

Southern Tier gemini - Imperial Blended Unfiltered Ale (2011)

Seasonal - January (Limited Rotating Release)

22 fl. oz. / $8.99 USD / 10.5% ABV

About: This is a mix of two of Southern Tier's Imperial Ales - Unearthly IPA and Hoppe Extra Pale Ale. "Malts: 2-Row Pale malt, Malted White Wheat, Cara-Pils malt, Red Wheat / Kettle Hops: Columbus, Chinook, Cascade; Aroma Hops: Amarillo; Hop Back: Styrian Goldings; Dry Hops: Amarillo, Cascade, Centenial, Chinook and Columbus. High in the winter sky, two parallel stick figures are visible and known as “the twins,” or the constellation Gemini. The astronauts of the 1960s flew as teams of two in a program named after the celestial pairing. At Southern Tier, we have our own fraternal twins, Hoppe and Unearthly. Blended together and placed in this vessel, the mission of our Gemini is to travel high and take passengers on a journey far into the heavens."

Thoughts: Poured a really haze filled orange amber shade with an opaque white head that fiercly grew and slowly settled into a super thick layer of froth that resembled whipped cream. Never seen a head this thick before, it's crazy. Medium carbonation.

Nose is hops, hops and more hops. Spicy notes. Some fruity notes as well. The spicy gets you first but the tang of the fruity notes creep inside the nostrils and tickle ya. This smells pretty awesome. I'm getting like a peppery light cinnamon-type scent with a sprinkle of orange and lemon. Overall it smells really sweet like a sugary lemon meringue or key lime pie.

Spicy kick intially that slowly levels off and makes way from some of the sweet and tangy. For a hop bomb of an unfiltered ale this baby sure is damn sweet! Flavorful. Not overly sweet, mind you, there is a bit of citrus to tweak the tongue, but this brew is liquid candy in the purest form! This is some brilliant fuckin' shit, pardon my engrish. It's strong, tasty and beautiful. The wheat and malt are at low levels but with the amount of hops here they are surely balancing things out a bit. As it warms the malts start coming through quite a bit more, and I don't mind because it's changing flavor a little and giving a whole new dimension to my dementia.

Mouth feel? I hadn't even noticed it up until the point I had to write about it. I was too engrossed in the scents and tastes to even think that far ahead. Every single time I pick the glass up I smell it once again and it's so good, and then I taste it and I'm drowning in the greatness. I guess I'll try for the mouth though: Little heavy, medium-thick swallow, slow lingering syrup on the tongue that fades just about the time the aftertaste starts and another gulp is needed... re-setting the whole process.

What is it about Southern Tier that makes me love their brew so much? I guess they're just born with it! The head of this beer is still there. Not only is it still there but it's still massive, thick and looks like I just sprayed whipped cream onto my beer. As I swirl it around the head stays to itself. Love it. Finishes with a peppery aftertaste and some bitter citrus zest. I've never seen Hoppe on the shelves, but I've seen Unearthly and it's on my lists of must try's. I wonder how it will compare to this?

My New Winter Coat

2012-01-04T18:53:00.000-06:00

Check out this kick-ass jacket I got for the "holiday season" from a sweet little lady (and purchased at Old Navy of all places!). I've been there like one and less-than-a-half of times and it just isn't for me. I get embarrassed just stepping foot inside the building based on the bullshit they sell. So imagine that, the fact that this sweet-ass coat came from their warehouse. Weird. But it's nice.

It's furry on the inside. Just like me... except I'm furry on the outsides.

Never had a furry coat before.

Here's a detail of the two buttons I've got on this one. Now I own two of the Zombie pins. I just said "what the hell" as I got the second one. Why the fuck not? Never enough Fulci! I don't think I'll be adding more patches to this one. I need something more subtle that doesn't reflect my male peacock-ness.

I also got two pajama pants. Both from Joe Boxer. One was thin with smiley-skull and crossbones (joker type stuff). The other was thick and fuzzy with real looking skull graphics (which means I guess they know that I'm deadly serious).

Dogfish Head Ta Henket

2012-01-03T18:02:00.003-06:00

Dogfish Head Ta Henket - Beer brewed with Za'atar, Doum Fruit and Chamomile (2011)

Brewed and Bottled by Dogfish Head Craft Brewing Inc., in Milton, DE. USA.
Occasional Rarity (Limited Release - December [when and if brewed]).

25.4 fl. oz. / $13.39 USD / 4.5% ABV

About: "Working with our archeologist friend Dr. Pat McGovern, this beer was created to incorporate the ancient ingredients and techniques described in Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Ta Henket is brewed with Emmer (an ancient form of wheat) and loaves of hearth-baked bread, and is flavored with Chamomile, Dom-Palm fruit and Za'atar (Middle Eastern herbs). To ferment Ta Henket, Sam and friends traveled to a date grove near the pyramids (Cairo), set out baited petri dishes and captured a native Egyptian yeast strain (referred to as Saccharomyces)."

Thoughts: Poured an ultra transparent almost yellow, light honey amber color with a stark white head that popped and bubbled like crazy. It settled down quickly enough with bits of larger and smaller bubbles, surrounded by the foamy middle and edges. Carbonation seems a rather light medium.

Smells a bit malty, somewhat grassy. It's kind of like a sweet malt liquor. That must be the chamomile mixing with the Egyptian yeast.

Huh! It's pretty mellow. Very Light herbs, and that special yeast strain seems to be overpowering the doum fruit and chamomile. I actually expected a lot more chamomile than I'm getting here, but it's still blended right into the brew. It's peppery but not really spicy at all. It's bready, little hints of wood or wheat, and sprinkled with the flavors of a soft oregano and basil.

Pretty damn frothy and chewy at first. Gets a little watery once it starts to warm. After a short while it becomes almost intensely drying.

Not at all unpleasant, but nothing really to get excited over. For the price I'd have to say that it's not worth it - if only to try once. I'll admit that I was a bit hyped up for this one, but it didn't really deliver at all. It's not a bad beer by any means, but I doubt this will be memorable at all aside from the very cool artwork and story that goes along with the brew. Hopefully this is a trend that Dogfish Head can break sooner than later. I've liked every one of their brews that I've tried, but these experimental beers are horribly overpriced.

Scribble Skull

2012-01-02T18:55:00.002-06:00

Scribble Skull (2012/11). Pencil and light Colored Pencil on 25 RAG 28# Brite White Fox River Bond Laser Paper.

I was just sketching things around the house as fast as I could for possible future art projects. Taking a look at my CrystalHeadVodka bottle apparently, I just started drawing squiggly lines to capture it. I kept the sketch for a couple months, not knowing what I was going to do with it (make it into something intense, throw it out, ect?). That is until last night, when I decided to just darken my original lines and do some minimal shading. After all, I liked how the scribble looked in the first place.

Dogfish Head Pangaea

2012-01-02T09:05:00.004-06:00

Dogfish Head Pangaea - Ale brewed with crystallized ginger (2011)
Brewed and Bottled by Dogfish Head Craft Brewing Inc., in Milton, DE. USA.
Occasional Rarity (Limited Release - Autumn [when and if brewed]).
25.4 fl. oz. / $9.97 USD / 7.0% ABV

About: "Brewed with ingredients from each and every continent, this is slightly spicy ale, with a mouthful of rich flavors. Pangaea is a great food beer. Our list of worldly ingredients includes: Crystallized ginger from Australia, Water from Antarctica, Basmati rice from Asia, Muscavado sugar from Africa, South American quinoa, European yeast and North American maize." Pangaea info.

Thoughts: Let out one of the loudest hiss sounds when I popped the cap. Poured a pretty light and totally transparent amber orange with a fluffy white head that settled down and never left. Medium carbonation bubbles rise slowly.

Smells kinda like peanuts at first. Weird. No wait, that's yeast... It smells really earthy. Not like wheat, but grain rather... and some flowery hops.

Tastes a hell of a lot better than is smells! Not saying it smells bad, but I did not expect that at all. The sugar hit me first. A sweet fruityness, like dates and figs. Then the yeast. It's not sour or bitter really, but it is a wee bit strong. Rice and corn then round it out. The backdrop of the entire brew is that crystallized ginger. It's pretty wonderful and flows evenly as the other tastes emerge and fall back. High hops, high malt, high yeast, and low alcohol. In the end it still ends up tasting and smelling a bit like peanuts. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it is unique. Little bit of a bready aftertaste too as if I ate a peanut butter sandwich sans jelly or some Thai Noodles.

Very crisp. Little bit dry. Spicy. Interesting.

I really like the idea of this beer. I think it would be cool if they went back and make like a Sequel to it, using all different ingredients from each continent. I know for Antarctica that may be difficult but perhaps they could put some of The Thing in it, or Penguin Blood? I'd like to see how it would taste if it didn't have that Belgian Yeast. It's tolerable in this beer, but man is that stuff overly strong. Overall, I'm not disappointed, but it could be better. That said, I did happen to enjoy it.

Cambridge Brewing Tripel Threat

2012-01-01T08:34:00.007-06:00

Cambridge Brewing Tripel Threat - Belgian Style Tripel (2011)

Brewed and Bottled by Cambridge Brewing Co., in Cambridge, MA. USA.

Winter Seasonal - November (Limited Release) - Batch #1.

22 fl. oz. / $6.59 USD / 10.0% ABV

About: "...CBC was the first American brewery to create and produce a Belgian-style beer. Our tripel went on to win our first ever Gold Medal at the Great American Beer Festival, in 1991, before there was even a category for 'Belgian Ales'. Tripel Threat is fermented with our proprietary Belgian yeast strain and brewed using imported Continental malts, hopped with Spalt and Goldings, and very lightly spiced with freshly toasted and ground coriander.

For the first time ever, Tripel Threat is also available in 22oz. bottles for takeaway at CBC and at better beer stores throughout the Commonwealth. Our label pays homage to CBC’s first Head Brewer, Darryl Goss, who developed Tripel Threat. Proceeds from bottle sales of Tripel Threat will benefit research for a cure for ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease."

Thoughts: Poured a very light straw yellow with shades of light auburn and a two finger seriously white fluffy head that took a few minutes to pop away. There's a ton of carbonation bubbles rising up. A Ton! Though a very light brew, there's no seeing through this one at all. It's hazy as a dusty motorcycle kick-up.

This spicy Belgian yeast is becoming more and more familiar with me over time. Smells a tad bit sour, with some almost tropical fruity tones. Papaya?

That spice is pretty damn amazing. It's like a zinging. Orange peel. Bananas. Not so flowery, and some fine tasting hops. It's hardly bitter at all, in fact, it's actually really sweet with a gentle sour flowing in and out. I'm very pleased that the normal funk associated with Belgian yeast is very low level here. This beer tastes absolutely beautiful. Yeah, I could drink this all day long. There's got to be some of that Belgian Candi Sugar in this... it's just too good.

This beer is a medium-thick, a little bit syrupy and very warming.

I was pretty psyched when I saw this on the shelf about a week or two ago. After the total ownage of their first bottled batch of the Great Pumpkin Ale, I've been waiting eagerly for more of the company's offerings. This very special candy / beer of theirs has finally been bottled in a 22oz Bomber with some kickin' artwork. What's next guys? I'll buy it you just bottle it.

Wrong Turn 4 (2011) and The Task (2010)

2011-12-31T17:46:00.009-06:00

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011) [Horror / Slasher and Survival] Dir: Declan O'Brien - 20th Century Fox

Wrong Turn 4 started off on a bad note for me with its annoying, overly-chaotic and senselessly jumbled introduction that seemed to be nothing more than Insanity for the fuck of it. There was too much One Flew Over-type shit going on and it was if they were trying super duper hard just to be zany to the extreme while peppering the violence on! The excessive giggling and shock treatment of the new psychologist / nurse was eye-rollingly over the top and the doctor in chains scene was ridiculous even after suspending all disbelief of that being physically possible. It didn't help that the actor portraying the doctor was woodier than an axe handle either.

Despite a quick orgy interruption, featuring people who should never be allowed to speak - only rest chin-first in the nearest bored muff, the movie hit some serious lag. As the young, dumb and full of cumsters make their way out to meet up with Brad or Chad or some bro of theirs, we get a keen look at just who these young adults are: A bunch of dumb motherfuckers! That's who. After a mix of dumbassery, douchebaggery and debauchery (oh, and some sweet snowboard moves - including one half-inch jump over flat ground at two miles per hour) the dumb fucks get lost in a snowstorm and head towards, you guessed it, the old abandoned Mental Hospital. Yeah, the now-home of the Cannibalistic Gruesome Threesome. As if that first orgy scene wasn't bad enough.

From that point we get to witness various interaction scenes between these chicks and dudes that are akin to watching paint dry, without the leisure of being able to huff it and make it all bearable. By the time the three brothers show up fiending for human flesh and start gettin' to the killing, the stupidity of these characters amps up by 50%. Now I don't know if it was the intention of the filmmakers to do this, but the complete idiocy of these kids is sure to be unsurpassed in the next ten years of future horror films. These characters made some of the most irrational decisions in horror history. And Dumb Bitch #1 takes the fuckin' cake with her "No, don't kill the killers now that we have the one and only chance to do so... they don't deserve it and neither do you." Seriously? GTFO!

Wrong Turn 4 is frustratingly dumb, for the most part predictable and let's face it, the girls weren't that hot. But despite the bad reviews, the film has one thing and one thing only going for it. The GORE! This movie isn't a total Gore-Fest (more of a Bore-Fest ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha - I kill me!) but there are scenes of bloodbathian proportions. And all of it looks pretty damn tasty. The strength of most of these particular death scenes is their sudden impactitude. A few of them were snap-of-a-finger sudden, but totally effective and left a fucked up lingering impression. When the camera loitered for more time on some of the carnage (such as the dude getting slowly skinned alive and fondued) it's all just a lesson in repetition. Heh, fonDUDE! "They like... fondude him dude!" I read about this film over at The Horror Club, and thought I'd give it a try. Hey, thanks a lot buddy! *Shakes fist old-man-style* C-

STAY TUNED AFTER THE NEXT "REVIEW" FOR SOME SPOILER-IFIC SCREENSHOTS FROM WRONG TURN 4.

Task, The - After Dark Originals (2010) [Horror / ESP and Ghosts] Dir: Alex Orwell - Lionsgate

Check out that cover art. Look at it! Perhaps it's just the horror kid in me but when I was flipping through the Redbox and I saw this, I had a mini freak-out moment inside. I felt like Beavis and Butthead when they came across a pair of Fresh Boobs, or a Heavy Metal music video. "Whoa... Yes! YES!" That deliciously sinister grin, and the video camera... what utterly Evil and delightfully Gruesome acts does this mischievous fellow have in store for the nubile young fleshlings!? The answer? Not a god damned thing.

Best scene of the film: all six seconds of it.

The Task started out pretty good: A group of stereotypically diverse people are "randomly" adult-napped, stuffed into the back of a van and taken to an undisclosed location. They're then lined up in a row while this nice fellow in the devilish clown mask circles around them, causing one guy to furiously piss himself. But of course, nothing is at all what it seems to be in The Task. A ~~douche~~ dude shows up and explains that they've been chosen to be on a "scary new reality show" where they must survive one night in a haunted prison... or some shit.

"Son of a fuck." I say to myself, that's what The Task is? The movie then goes into this shitty montage of each character auditioning for an unknown reality show a few months prior. We've got the standard flaming gay guy, the tokin' black guy, the annoying chick, the other even more annoying chick, ect. They all decide not to sue the balls off these fuckers, and agree to the terms for whatever reason (ten dollar gift cards to Denny's I can't quite remember). Once inside they notice video cameras all over the building and are informed over intercoms what each of them will have to do that night.

Dumb bitch has to stick her hand in the mysterious box "filled with razor blades" to retrieve the first name. Gay guy has to read passages backwards from a bible in front of a lit candle in the creepy dark chapel (the prison has a chapel of course) to summon the spirit of the old, Oktoberfest-dressed, bald and mustached warden. Black guy has to lay in some kind of shit filled hole in the ground covered by a steel door. Other annoying chick has to sit in the abandoned gas chamber room... ect... it's all very lame and horrific. Horrifically boring that is! The warden (or his ghost) shows up and starts kinda violently murdering them one by one. The pranksters behind the camera now don't know if they're being pranked themselves or if this shit just got real.

The Task had me anxiously waiting for it to end, to the point where I just kept getting up to see if the food in my fridge had spoiled yet. The acting is shit. The writing is putrid. The story just plain sucks ass. Then there's plot twists after plots twist that are nonsensical and it's all very stupid. The horrid amateur acting releases the movie of any tension and renders the final scene completely ineffective. The death scenes are weak, with only one realistic gore scene that ends up being a twist in itself. Hell, even the gay guy angle is a twist. The bad guy ain't scary, and in fact, the only thing scary about this movie is how horribly cheesy is it. And I like cheese! It may go without saying, but I'm gonna: The Task is a task to watch. D-

AND NOW FOR SOME SPOILER-IFIC SCREENSHOTS FROM WRONG TURN 4. ENJOY?

Have Seen: 2011

2011-12-31T07:11:00.000-06:00

KEY: Cinema, Owned, Rental or TV.

JAN [18]:

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Go (1999)
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)
Fourth Kind, The (2009)
Vampires Suck (Extended Bite Me Edition) (2010)
Case 39 (2009)
Town, The (Theatrical Cut) (2010)
Green Hornet, The (3-D Version) (2011)
Dinner for Schmucks (2010) [Blu-ray]
Extract (2009)
Legendary Assassin (w/ English Dubbing) (2008)
RED (2010) [Blu-ray]
Time Machine, The (2002)
Educational Archives, The - Sally (Short) (1979)
Educational Archives, The - Girls Beware (3rd Edition) (Short) (1979)
Educational Archives, The - Keep Off the Grass (Short) (1970)
Educational Archives, The - Alcohol Is Dynamite (Short) (1967)
Monster Squad, The (1987)

FEB [13]:

Beavis and Butt-Head: Frog Baseball (Uncut) (Short) (1992)
- Beavis and Butt-Head - Vol. 3, Disc 2 (DC) (1993-1997)
Wieners (2008)
Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) [Blu-ray]
Surf's Up (2007)
Watchmen (186 Minute Director's Cut) (2009) [Blu-ray]
Last House on the Left, The (85 Minute Restored Extended Foreign Version) (1972) [Blu-ray]
Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010)
Beavis and Butt-Head - Vol. 3, Disc 1 (DC) (1993-1997) [Complete]
13'th Grade (Short) (2007)
Cyrus (2010)
Knight and Day (2010)
Trapped (2002)
Drive Angry (3-D Version) (2011)

MAR [12]:

Mechanic, The (1972)
Jackass 3 (2-D Version) (2010) [Blu-Ray]
Rango (2011)
Jason X (2001)
Demolition Man (EDITED For Television) (1993)
Home Alone (1990)
Black Lightning (2009)
Losers, The (2010)
Date Night (88 Minute Original Theatrical Version) (2010)
Couples Retreat (2009)
Friday (1995)
-Hellsing - Series 1, Disc 1 (2001)
Rudy (1993)

APR [16]:

Sucker Punch (IMAX Version) (2011)
Grown Ups (2010)
(500) Days of Summer (2009)
Half Baked (1998)
Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, The (2009)
Anthropophagus: The Grim Reaper (Uncut) (1980)
Sin City (Recut, Extended, Unrated) (w/ Austin Audience Reaction) (2005)
Devil's Rejects, The (109 Minute Unrated Version) (2005)
Scream 4 ( Scre4m ) (2011)
Due Date (2010)
Scream 3 (2000)
Scream 2 (1997)
WarGames (1983)
Scream (EDITED) (1996)
Behind the 'Scream' (Documentary) (2000)
Do You Like Hitchcock? (2005)

MAY [19]:

Nightmare on Elm Street, A (2010)
Malibu's Most Wanted (2003)
Bobby Z ( Death and Life of Bobby Z, The ) (2007)
Uncle Buck (1989)
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999)
Lovely Bones, The (2009)
Emanuelle in America (Uncut 100 Minute Hardcore Director's Cut Version) (1977)
Black Death (2010)
-deleted scenes
-Bringing Black Death to Life (Documentary)
Endure (2010)
Goonies, The (1985) [Blu-ray]
Roommate, The (2011)
Suck (2009)
Hellboy (2004)
LotR: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (178 Minute Theatrical Version) (2001)
Shallow Hal (2001)
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (Extreme Unrated) (2004)
All Good Things (2010)
Tender Flesh (Uncut) (1998)
Thor (2-D Version) (2011)

JUN [8]:

Mechanic, The (2011)
X-Men: First Class (2011)
Love and Other Drugs (2010)
Wild Things (Unrated) (1998)
Thor: Tales of Asgard (2011)
Resident, The (2010)
Rite, The (2011)
Green Lantern (3-D Version) (2011)

JUL [9]:

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (3-D Version) (2011)
Desperate Measures (1998)
Red Riding Hood (99 Minute Original Theatrical Cut) (2011)
Tenebrae (1982)
Unknown (2011)
Lincoln Lawyer, The (2011)
Captain America: The First Avenger (3-D Version) (2011)
Source Code (2011)
Season of the Witch (2011)

AUG [17]:

Hobo with a Shotgun (2011) [Blu-ray]
One False Move (1992)
Elektra Luxx (2010)
Despicable Me (2010)
Ninja Assassin (2009) [Blu-ray]
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) [Blu-ray]
K-9 (1989)
Soul Surfer (2011)
Chosen One, The (2010)
Priest (Theatrical Version) (2011)
Take Me Home Tonight (2011)
Messengers, The (2007)
Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010)
Blitz (2011)
Sacrifice (2011)
Warrior's Way, The (2010)
Rio: The Movie (2011)

SEP [23]:

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole (2010)
Gnomeo & Juliet (2011)
Mezzo forte (Director's Cut) (2001)
Shark Night (3-D Version) (2011)
Hell Night (1981)
Elephant White (2011)
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (Extreme Unrated) (2004)
Light Years ( Gandahar ) (Full Screen) (Edited) (Dubbed) (1988) [VHS]
Heavy Metal 2000 (Heavy Metal: F.A.K.K.²) (Full Screen) (2000) [VHS]
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation ( MK2 )(1997) (Full Screen) [VHS]
Spawn (93 Minute Theatrical Version) (Full Screen) (1997) [VHS]
Creature (2011)
Bride of Chucky (1998) [VHS]
Thor (2011) [Blu-ray]
Thanks, Smokey! (Short) (2011)
Perfect Blue (1998) [VHS]
Labyrinth (1986)
Hesher (2010)
Setup (2011)
Paul (Unrated) (2011)
Assassination Games (2011)
Dark Knight, The (2008) [Blu-ray]
WWE: The Rise and Fall of ECW [Documentary] (2004)

OCT [8]:

Your Highness (106 Minute Unrated Extended Version) (2011)
Runaways, The (2010) [Blu-ray]
Walking Dead, The - The Complete 1st Season (2010)
Virgins from Hell (1987)
Caller, The (2011)
Task, The - After Dark Originals (2010)
Hanna (2011)
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) [Blu-ray]

NOV [12]:

I Am Number Four (2011)
Lost Future, The (2010)
Marvel One-Shot: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor's Hammer (2011)
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle - Extreme Unrated (2004)
Immortals (3-D Version) (2011)
Big (1988)
Snatch. (2000)
Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1, The (2011)
Forget Me Not (2009)
Carjacked (2011)
11/11/11 (2011) [Asylum's]
Conan the Barbarian (2011) [Blu-ray]

DEC [13]:

Super 8 (2011) [Blu-ray]
Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn - 25th Anniversary Edition (1987) [Blu-ray]
Watchmen (186 Minute Director's Cut) (2009) [Blu-ray]
Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011)
Fright Night (2011) [Blu-ray]
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) [Blu-ray]
Zookeeper (2011)
Straw Dogs (2011)
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The (2011)
Tenacious D - The Complete Masterworks - Live at Brixton Academy (2003)
Help, The (2011)
Columbiana (2011)
Warrior (2011)

My Recommendations:

Essential Viewing: Black Death, The Caller, Hesher, Love And Other Drugs, The Resident, Soul Surfer
Check These Out: Blitz, Carjacked, The Chosen One, Electra Luxx, Forget Me Not, Hanna
Totally Avoid: Dylan Dog, Paul, The Task, Your Highness, and some of the obviously Horrid shit in that above list.

Have Seen: 2010

2011-12-31T07:09:00.000-06:00

KEY: CINEMA, RENTAL and/or TV, OWNED.

JAN:

001. Goonies, The (Full Screen) (1985)
002. Bangkok Dangerous (Full Screen) (2008)
003. Dave Chappelle: For What It's Worth (2004)
004. Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly (2000)
005. 1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982)
006. New Barbarians, The (1982)
007. Mysterious Skin - Original Theatrical DC (2004)
008. Princess and the Frog, The (Wide) [G] (2009)
----. Tudors, The - Season 1, Ep 1 (2007)
009. Deadline (2009)
010. Lookout, The (2007)
----. Burn Notice - Season 3, Ep 10 (2010)
011. Summer's Moon (2009)
----. Tudors, The - Season 1, Ep 2 (2007)
012. Fellatio Truth Movement, The (Short) (2010)
----. Tudors, The - Season 1, Ep 3 and 4 (2007)
013. International, The (Full Screen) (2009)
----. Burn Notice - Season 3, Ep 11 (2010)
014. 12 Rounds (Full Screen) (2009)

FEB:

015. Tudors, The - Season 1, Ep 5-10 (Complete) (2007)
016. Casper (Full Screen) (1995)
017. Transformers: The Movie - 20th Anniversary SE (1986)
----. Burn Notice - Season 3, Ep 12 (2010)
----. Tudors, The - Season 2, Ep 1 (2008)
018. Se7en - New Line Platinum Series (1995)
----. Tudors, The - Season 2, Ep 2-4 (2008)
019. Sinful Dwarf, The (1973)
020. What Have You Done to Solange? (1972)
----. Burn Notice - Season 3, Ep 13 (2010)
----. Tudors, The - Season 2, Ep 5-8 (2008)
021. Tromeo and Juliet (Unrated Director's Cut) (1996)
022. Bagman: Profession: Meurtrier (2005)
023. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (Restored 152 Min. DC) (1991)
----. Burn Notice - Season 3, Ep 14 (2010)
024. Tudors, The - Season 2, Ep 9-10 (Complete) (2008)
025. Aeon Flux (2005) [HD-DVD]
----. Tudors, The - Season 3, Ep 1 (2009)
026. Final Destination (Full Screen) (2000)
027. Wolfman, The (Wide) [R] (2010)
028. Bram Stoker's Dracula (Blu-ray) (1992)
----. Burn Notice - Season 3, Ep 15 (2010)
029. Running Man, The (Full Screen) (1987)
030. At Dawn They Sleep (2000)

MAR:

----. Tudors, The - Season 3, Ep 2 and 3 (2009)
031. Burn Notice - Season 3, Ep 16 (Complete) (2010)
032. Tudors, The - Season 3, Ep 4-8 (Complete) (2009)
033. Bitch Slap (Unrated) (2009)
034. My Name Is Bruce (2007)
035. Alice in Wonderland (Limited) [PG] (IMAX 3-D Version) (2010)
036. Wes Craven Presents: Dracula 2000 (2000)
037. Perkins' 14 - After Dark Horrorfest (2009)
038. Role Models (102 Minute Unrated Version) (Full Screen) (2008)
039. Endless Summer 2, The (1994)
040. Twilight Saga: New Moon, The (2009)
041. Shallow Hal (Edited For TV) (Full Screen) (2001)
042. Fighting Cholitas, The (Short) (2006)
043. Jinx! (Short) (2007)
044. Demons (1985)
045. Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)
046. Why Did I Get Married? (2007)

APR:

047. Daredevil (Edited For TV) (Full Screen) (2003)
048. Run Lola Run ( Lola rennt ) (1998)
049. Anamorph (2007)
050. Never Back Down (Extended Beat Down Edition) (2008)
051. Kick-Ass (Wide) [R] (2010)
052. Pandorum (2009)
053. Proposal, The (Full Screen) (2009)
054. Year One (Unrated) (Full Screen) (2009)
055. Clueless (Full Screen) (1995)

MAY:

056. Nightmare on Elm Street, A (Wide) [R] (2010)
057. Dark City - 111 Minute Director's Cut (1998) [Blu-ray]
058. Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)
059. Night of the Seagulls (1975)
060. Iron Man 2 (Wide) [PG-13] (2010)
061. Tombs of the Blind Dead (1971)
062. Last Unicorn, The (1982)
063. Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children (2005)
064. Man in the Moon, The (Full Screen) (1991)
065. Hangover, The (Full Screen) (2009)
066. Big (Full Screen) (1988)
067. Uncovered (Full Screen / Cropped) (1994)
068. Karate Kid, The (Full Screen) (1984)
069. Transformers: The Movie - 20th Anniversary SE (1986)
070. Stepfather, The (Full Screen) (2009)
071. UP (Full Screen) (2009)

JUN:

072. Runaways, The (Limited) [R] (2010)
073. Zombi 2 (Uncut) - 25th Anniversary Special Edition (1979)
074. Con Air (1997)
----. True Blood: Season 3, Ep 1 (2010)
075. Explorers (Full Screen) (1985)
076. XXX (Full Screen) (2002)
077. Family That Preys, The (Full Screen) (2007)
078. League of Their Own, A (Full Screen) (1992)
----. True Blood: Season 3, Ep 2 (2010)
079. Marine, The (Theatrical Version) (2006)
080. Jonah Hex (Wide) [PG-13] (2010)

JUL:

081. Twilight Saga: Eclipse, The (Wide) [PG-13] (2010)
082. Whiteout (Full Screen) (2009)
083. Frailty (Full Screen) (2001)
----. True Blood: Season 3, Ep 3 (2010)
084. Obsessed (Full Screen) (2009)
085. Home Alone (Full Screen) (1990)
----. True Blood: Season 3, Ep 4 (2010)
086. Edge of Darkness (2010)
087. Defendor (2009)
----. True Blood: Season 3, Ep 5 (2010)
088. Planet Hulk (2010)

AUG:

089. Chloe (2009)
090. Dazed and Confused - CC (1993)
091. After.Life (2009)
092. Legion (2010)
093. Planet 51 (Full Screen) (2009)
094. Inception (Wide) [PG-13] (2010)
095. Jennifer's Body (Full Screen) (2009)
096. Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths (2010)
097. Shutter Island (2010)
098. Blow (Full Screen) (2001)
099. Expendables, The (Wide) [R] (2010)
100. Inglourious Basterds (2009)
101. Killshot (Full Screen) (2009)
102. Hot Tub Time Machine (Unrated) (2010) [Blu-ray]
103. Sherlock Holmes (2009)
104. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The (2009)
105. Cornered! (2008)
106. Girl Who Played with Fire, The (Limited) [R] (2009)
107. Surrogates (2009)
108. Clash of the Titans (2010) [Blu-ray]
109. Mystery Team (2009)
110. Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) [Blu-ray]
111. DC Showcase: Jonah Hex (Short) (2010) [Blu-ray]
----. Robin: The Story of Dick Grayson (Documentary) (2010)
----. Robin's Requiem: The Tale of Jason Todd (Documentary) (2010)
112. Piranha 3-D (Limited) [R] (2010)

SEP:

112. Machete (Wide) [R] (2010)
113. Time Traveler's Wife, The (2009)
114. Why Did I Get Married Too? (2010) [Blu-ray]
115. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - CC (1998)
116. Pelican Brief, The (1993)
117. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010)
118. Family Guy Presents: Blue Harvest (2007)
119. Future-Kill (1985)
120. Resident Evil: Afterlife (Wide) [R] (2010)
121. Resident Evil (2002) [Blu-ray]
----. Playing Dead: From Game to Screen (Documentary) (2002)
----. Scoring Resident Evil (Documentary) (2002)
122. Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) [Blu-ray]
123. Resident Evil: Extinction (2007) [Blu-ray]
124. Youth in Revolt (2009)
125. Killer Inside Me, The (2010) [Blu-ray]
126. Losers, The (2010) [Blu-ray]
127. Repo Men (Unrated) (2010)
128. Experiment, The (2010)
129. Harry Brown (2009)
----. Dexter: Season 5, Episode 1

OCT:

130. Walking Tall (2004)
----. Dexter: Season 5, Episode 2
131. Speak (2004)
132. Survival of the Dead (2009)
133. Let Me In (Wide) [R] (2010)
----. Dexter: Season 5, Episode 3
134. Human Centipede (First Sequence), The (2009) [Blu-ray]
135. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007) [Blu-ray]
136. Gorgonas (Short) (2004)
137. Miss Greeny (Short) (1996)
138. Flat 'n' Fluffy (Short) (2001)
139. Love from Mother Only ( Amor Só de Mãe ) (Short) (2003)
140. Disposer (Short) (2005)
----. Dexter: Season 5, Episode 4
----. Demon Lord Dante, Vol. 1 - Dante Resurrects (2002)
141. Mezzo forte - Director's Cut (2001)
142. Kite - Director's Cut (1998)
143. Buffalo '66 (1998)
144. Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day, The (2009)
----. Dexter: Season 5, Episode 5
145. His Name Was Jason: 30 Years of Friday the 13th (2009)
146. Friday the 13th - Killer Cut (2009) [Blu-ray]

NOV:

147. Addams Family, The (1991)
148. Alucarda (1978)
----. Mezzo: Shell 1 (2004)
----. Mezzo: Shell 2 (2004)
149. Mezzo: Shell 3 (2004)
150. Predators (2010) [Blu-ray]
151. Splice (2009) [Blu-ray]
152. Armored (2009)
153. House of the Devil, The (2009) [Blu-ray]
154. Last Airbender, The (2010)
155. Faster (Wide) [R] (2010)
----. Transformers Prime: S1, E1: Darkness Rising: Part 1

DEC:

----. Transformers Prime: S1, E2: Darkness Rising: Part 2
----. Transformers Prime: S1, E3: Darkness Rising: Part 3
----. Transformers Prime: S1, E4: Darkness Rising: Part 4
156. Transformers Prime: S1, E5: Darkness Rising: Part 5
157. Transformers: The Movie - 20th Anniversary SE (1986)
158. Lethal Force - SE (2001)
159. Garfield's Halloween Adventure (Edited) (1985)
160. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) [Blu-ray]
161. Twilight Saga: Eclipse, The (2010) [Blu-ray]
162. Disappearance of Alice Creed, The (2009)
163. Nightmare on Elm Street, A (2010) [Blu-ray]
164. Easy A (2010)
165. Fire and Ice (1983)
166. I Spit on Your Grave (Uncut) (Hard-matted) (1978)
167. Vampyres (Uncut) (Remastered) (1974)
168. Black Swan (Wide) [R] (2010)
169. Salt (100 Minute Original Theatrical Version) (2010)
170. Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural (1973)

BLACKARIA and LAST CARESS trailers - Must See These!

2011-12-27T17:11:00.011-06:00

I don't know if this is old news or what, but I just split my shorts when I watched these two trailers from François Gaillard and Christophe Robin (two very Insane Frenchmen and apparent Danzig Fanatics! [They name all of their films after his song and/or album titles]). Absurdly noticable influence from Dario Argento and Mario Bava's work, as well as many other Euro-horrors. But DAMN, just take a look at these trailers.

If you've got any info on where I can buy and own, or even watch these, please let me know! (Apparently they've just been released on DVD in France, but no news on Subtitles or anything on a Stateside Version). It all may seem a little "Fatal Frames" (except actually Sexy!), but I want!!1

Samuel Adams Black and Brew

2011-12-27T13:22:00.003-06:00

Samuel Adams Black and Brew Coffee Stout - Ale With Coffee Added (2011)
Winter Seasonal (Yearly Release?) - New Style

12 fl. oz. (x2) / $2.50 USD / 5.8% ABV

About: "We use 1.5 pounds of Sumatran coffee beans per barrel, roasted to nearly an espresso level roast to ensure the strong coffee character, added late in the brewing process to provide the most flavor possible."

Thoughts: Poured a very dark brown, almost blackish, but you can still see the dark auburn brown tones in the pour and the swirling. The head is a chocolatey tan that's a bit frothy and beautiful like a milkshake. It's taking a while but the head is slowly bubbling itself away.

Smells pretty sweet at first, almost like Wachusett's Milk Stout. Let it warm for a minute or two... sweet coffee comes through a little stronger. Just sneezed. It smells a bit malty, and the head is clinging to the glass.

Let's taste it. Yep. Tastes like coffee. One more time. It's decent. Little bit flavorful, malty, and there's those semi-bitter roasted coffee beans on the second try. Not that I was searching, but it seemed as if the sweetness was toying with my emotions.

Thin and watery. It's a bit tickling after a while. Not really dry, but drying. It's coating around the whole inside of the mouth.

Never really goes too bitter, and it never really gets too sweet. Of course, I should have expected that. I'm enjoying the beer somewhat, even though I'm not much of a coffee fan. It tastes just good enough that I feel as if it's being deceptive. It's just too light for me. Like if this beer were music, it would be a catchy pop song that you know fucking sucks total balls but is repetitive enough that it tricks your brain into thinking it's enjoyable. Remember Britney back in the day when she was doing all that teasing shit? That's this beer.

Samuel Adams Chocolate Bock

2011-12-27T13:22:00.002-06:00

Samuel Adams Chocolate Bock - Ale with Cocoa and Natural Flavor (2011)
Winter Seasonal (Yearly Release)

12 fl. oz. (x2) / $2.50 USD / 5.8% ABV

About: "The flavor of the chocolate is developed by aging the beer on a bed of rare dark cocoa nibs. The cocoa nibs, a primary ingredient in chocolate, impart an aroma and flavor of fine chocolate to the beer. As the beer matures, the flavors are released into the liquid to give the brew a complex, full bodied taste and velvety finish. A hint of vanilla is added, also used in making chocolate, to meld the combination of flavors together. This combination of flavors results in a malty, chocolaty, and wonderfully complex bock beer. Hops: Noble Tettnang Tettnanger and Spalt Spalter / Malts: 2-row Harrington and Metcalfe, Munich 10, and Caramel 60."

Thoughts: Poured a dark brown with shades of deep mahogany, with a thin and rapidly diminishing tan head.

Little bit of a chocolate scent. Something kinda spicy about it, like black pepper but not really.

Tastes pretty standard I guess. Not really diggin' it all too much. Not malty enough, that kinda spicy thing I was smelling sure ain't in the taste. It all seems very clouded. Getting very subtle hints of roasted malt that thankfully doesn't remind me too much of coffee, and some weak cocoa powder. Tastes kinda like a warm, dingy soft serve ice cream from a buffet. You know, one where the vanilla and chocolate don't taste "quite right"? Especially when compared to the gourmet shit.

Goes down like water. Starts to tingle on the tongue if you don't gulp it down right away.

Pretty bland overall. Sam Adams really need to step up their game with their normal brews. This is the last of my Holiday 12'er and I've got to say that I'm pretty disappointed with the pack as a whole. Porter, Coffee and Chocolate were just too similar of styles, feels and tastes. Their Boston and Winter Lager are pretty similar too, with Winter being a slightly superior version; Winter and Fezziwig especially being the standouts, but let's face it: People are being forced to buy what I feel isn't necessarily horrible, but rather mediocre brews, just to get a few beers that are slightly above average.

I don't give a fuck if these are packaged as "incentives" to get you to buy the "variety". It's bullshit(!) because their "variety" needs to be of a higher standard than this. Huh, I guess it's official. I've drank way too many awesome beers. I can't drink this normal shit anymore. It's not cuttin' it for me! Put Old Fezziwig into Holiday 12 Packs of their own, because I'm not doing this Ever Again.

Samuel Adams Winter Lager

2011-12-27T07:46:00.003-06:00

Samuel Adams Winter Lager - Malt Beverage Brewed With Spices (2011)

Winter Seasonal (Yearly Release)

12 fl. oz. (x2) / $2.50 USD / 5.5% ABV

About: "To put our own twist on the classic bock style, we created a dark wheat bock brewed with holiday spices of ginger, cinnamon and orange peel. For Samuel Adams Winter Lager, we came to a blend of Vietnamese and Indonesian cinnamons grown in Southeast Asia. The spices for Samuel Adams Winter Lager are fresh ground just before brewing adding character and depth to the generous quantities of malted wheat. Malts: Two-row Harrington, Metcalf, and Copeland pale malts, Caramel 60, malted wheat, Weyermann Carafa Malt, and Munich 10 / Hops: Hallertau Mittelfrueh Noble hops / Special Ingredients: Orange peel, Ginger, and Cinnamon"

Thoughts: Poured a pretty rich looking darkish red amber, or light brown, with an off-white head that stayed puffy for a while.

Smells pretty neat. Frosty and inviting. Little mellow. The tiniest bit peppery.

Cinnamon and zesty hops. I'm so used to cinnamon and malt lately that this one (being the first beer of the day) just crept up the sides of my tongue and attacked my pucker sense. Little bit roasty and maltly once that hop bit fades. The taste is pretty mild. The cinnamon and ginger are decently represented and the whole beer has a pretty good flow about it. Orange peel hops dominate, with the cinnamon backing it up and a low roasted malts flavor with a pinch of ginger.

It's a light medium with a bit of froth.

Bitter citrus aftertaste. Roasted malt finish. Decent enough brew, but it suffers a bit from being a little too similar tasting, like their other beers.

Samuel Adams Boston Lager

2011-12-27T07:45:00.002-06:00

Samuel Adams Boston Lager (2011)
Year Round (Standard Release)
12 fl. oz. (x2) / $2.50 USD / 4.9% ABV

About: "Samuel Adams Boston Lager uses only the finest ingredients including two-row malted barley and Bavarian Noble hops. The sole use of two-row barley not only imparts a full, smooth body but also gives the beer a wide spectrum of malt flavor ranging from slightly sweet to roasted. The Noble hop varieties of Hallertau Mittelfrueh and Tettnang Tettnanger add a wide range of floral, piney and citrus notes, which are present from the aroma, through the taste, and all the way to the lingering smooth finish."

Thoughts: Poured a fairly light yellow amber with some orange shades in the shadows.

Not really getting much of a scent at first. After a while it's got a bit of a spicy tone that's pretty nice.

Light hops and malts, blended quite well. Little more hop than malt, which originally made this beer stand out. Compared to other lagers, this one is a bit stronger in the taste department and certainly in the hops. It's slightly bitter but still pretty good. Overall a nice blend with no real downside taste-wise, aside from some a grassy after bite.

A light medium with a bit of froth. Somewhat watery. Mild tingle.

Personally I've never had a problem with Sam Adams lager. Never particularly loved it either. For what I'm getting, their year round six packs are just too expensive for this (which is why I don't buy them normally). Is it better than some of the other lagers out there? Yeah, sure. After all, there's only a few good ones out there anyways. But a Lager is a Lager, and a Lager is a Chaser. If I want to buy beer for the taste I'm not going to buy an everyday Lager, it's a simple... as... that.

So people, including myself, should just shut the fuck up 'bout it. Hey, I buy beer for the taste too! Not that I've got an issue (it can't not be brought up when you review this particular staple of everyday beer), but a lot of people talk down on Budweiser or Natural Ice when there are far worse beers out there. If it's all about taste, then buy something that tastes Exceptional. As far as I'm concerned, Lager wars are about as pointless as The Scary Snowman's Third and subsequent videos. You're still going to watch them all, but the joke gets old fast.

I can't count the times I've imagined taking a flamethrower to my own nuts while listening to some arseholes going on about Bud Light vs. Coors Light. They're Light beers for fuck's sake. And for me, Regular 4.9% through 5.9% ABV beers are Light! Personally, I'm looking forward to more of the higher ABV special releases that Sam Adams will hopefully be putting out next year. I had a really great time with their 4 Batch #1's (Man, I wish I had bought and saved one of those Griffin's Bow bottles for later), and hope the next batch features all new stuff.

Three Months of Beer Reviews!

2011-12-26T10:55:00.004-06:00

I drank a lot of beer in the last three months, and I did approximately 94 beer reviews in that time. I don't know if that's "eXtreme!!1" or what, but it was definitely an interesting experience that taught me a few things about beer and life. Allow me to share.

When I regained my sense of taste after almost going ghost, I made a non-conscious decision to try some new beers that I've never had. This was about halfway through October (as I searched for mysterious and hidden Pumpkin brews on the shelves, I did a lot of label reading and became quite interested in trying many of these craft beers). Now a few months later, whenever I hit the craft brew section of the package store I get a range of emotions from stupidly giddy to utterly determined. Beer is never going to be the same to me.

It's become more than just Beer! It's an experience, a feeling, a tone... for life. So much negative stigma towards beer due to irresponsibility (not my only crime), that I cast aside in favor for a more positive vibe. Beer is meant to be enjoyed and should always be there for you, helping to make your good times with with friends, loved ones and even alone, even better! I've done a lot of reading on beer and beer news lately that it's become more than just a pastime, but also an interest. I am genuinely intrigued by really good, interesting and new beers.

I did a Halloween brew and Christmas brew series 'type of thing', and what I learned from that is I'll not be doing this again. I will of course continue to do Pumpkin beer reviews each year, but from now on I'll be focusing on just the beers I want to try and not impose some forced uh, boundaries on myself. Basically I came to this conclusion when I did that Christmas series. What is a Christmas beer? I don't fuckin' know. I guess you could just slap a Holiday label on any beer and then it becomes one. That's my conclusion. I had this idea for a Holiday Brew Review Summary, aka "Tis The Season To Get Fucked Up!"

Other possible summary post names included the following:

"Santa Clause Is Coming To Drink!"

"Hark! The Herald Boozers Puke!"

"Frosty The Beerman!"

"Silent Burps!"

...and my personal favorite, "Deck The Bitch With Fists Of Stupor!"

Ah, domestic violence. What a joy. But of course, "Tis The Season To Get Fucked Up!" just sounds so FUN! Well, that all went to shit after I tried those beers and none of them had anything remotely Christmas-Like about them... except for one:

Hoppin' Frog's Frosted Frog Christmas Ale!

You want Christmas in a bottle? This is it! Nothing, absolutely nothing compared to this. After the confusion of trying a few of the so-called Holiday beers (that had left me crushed like a baby's head from a tree stump stomp!), I finally found what I was searching for. This beer is one of a kind, and it left me with only one lingering thought once I had downed it: Moar! Which brings me to:

Beers that I bought... again!

Aside from the session beers, I did a total of 3 Re-buys. These beers I liked so damn much that I simply had to get another one. Hoppin' Frog's Frosted Frog was one of them. The other two?

Wachusett's Imperial Pumpkin Ale

Southern Tier's Imperial Pumking!

All three of these beers are wonderfully spiced and the most perfect representation to the holiday season. Not to mention that they are all just fuckin' incredible experiences. 2011 was the first year for this new Wachusett Pumpkin Ale and they nailed it. The taste of this brew simply demolished the other pumpkin brews and left their gourds laying about the misty streets. Pumking did incredible sales around here I noticed, as people were just going absolutely nuts for the stuff... and for good reason. It's more than a beer, more than a Pumpkin beer, it's a meal in itself. Like it says right there on the label, this truly is a Mystical Brew! It's got a powerful aura about it that will take over your senses.

Aside from those three beers that completely "changed my life" (to quote my cousin Shane after his viewing of Fight Club and American Beauty), I found that I'm really a Barleywine guy, overall. I haven't found one that I didn't luv. Barleywine is a splendid style that's rich, flavorful and sweet. It makes me smile inside. On the other hand, Stouts are an odd bunch to me. They tend to taste similar, and I've never really been into coffee so I just can't see myself enjoying these on a regular basis. Though, when you find one that's rich and savory, creamy and smooth it really is a treat. Any watered down feeling Stouts really do suck. I think I got pretty lucky with the stouts that I've tried. Wolaver's Oatmeal and Southern Tier's Choklat specifically.

When I started reviewing beer it was actually pretty tough. Though I think of myself as being fairly good with words, it was hard a few times to come up with something other than "this tastes pretty OK I guess." I learned to love the diversity in beer, and doing so many reviews in such a short amount of time, I found that it got a lot easier for me in the last month. I tried a lot of beers which were still fresh in my mind and helped comparison-wise. Reading the ingredients in certain beers, and documenting it of course, I started to notice certain things I like or don't.

Anytime I opened a bottle, I finished it (with only one exception - my single drain pour of the year). I've had good beers and lousy beers, flavorful and tasteless beers, a few tremendous beers and even some really strange beers. I've been surprised, let down, confused and even at times worried... but most of all, I had a great time doing it all. "Drink a few beers, take a few notes. It was fuuunnnn!" In an effort not to get burnt out or too too boring (I know, I've got my moments) I'll most likely not be going beer review crazy as I have been. There are some beers that I'm still really looking forward to, such as more of the offerings from Southern Tier and Dogfish Head.

Until then, I might just take it sleazy. Then again I might not.

Berkshire Cabin Fever Ale

2011-12-25T20:57:00.003-06:00

Berkshire Cabin Fever Ale (2011)

Brewed and Bottled by Berkshire Brewing Co., in South Deerfield, MA. USA.

Winter Seasonal (Yearly Release)

22 fl. oz. / 3.99 USD / 6.3% ABV

About: "Cabin Fever is a well-balanced, medium bodied ale brewed to sustain you over the long New England winter. Its rich malt profile is reminiscent of an English Pale Ale, while the spicy and fruity hop finish, from German Tettnang hops, gives it a warming and welcoming feeling to bring you back in from the cold. Available from the first week of November through March."

Thoughts: Poured a semi-dark cinnamon amber with a fluffy and frothy eggshell tan head. There are little darkish colorful specks in parts of the head once it settles down which I will assume are the live yeast they leave in their unfiltered and unpasteurized brews.

Smells like a mild chocolate malt at first. Little bit of hops coming through. I let it warm a bit and the scent is still a little hard to get here.

Heavy chocolate malt, little bit of alcoholic coffee and some fruity spicy hops. Dark fruits, Toffee, mild Citrus burn on the finish. This is a strange one! It's not strong at all, yet not horribly bland, but it seems masked. And yet, after warming there is an abundance of flavor and scents. While good tasting and smooth, there's nothing really setting me off about it. Everything is settled down. This is a sweet and syrupy brew with a very good balance of malts and hops.

Light medium, pretty frothy once you get it in your mouth. It's a bit drying. Sticky. Aftertaste is hoppy.

It's a lot better than some of the other Winter Warmers that I've tried, but I'm just going to have to come to terms with the fact that I'm not really a Winter Warmer fan. For the most part they aren't distinct enough for me yet. I of course can determine the quality, which this one has tons of, but maybe I just don't get the concept. They all seem to be lacking some special ingredient to me.

Rinkuškiai Werewolf Bier

2011-12-25T20:56:00.004-06:00

Rinkuškiai Werewolf Bier (2011)
Brewed and Bottled by Rinkuškiai, in Biržai, Lithuania.

Year Round (Standard Release)
16.9 fl. oz. / $2.79 USD / 8.2% ABV

About: "Werewolf is based on the recipe of the best Biržai beers. No pees, rice and other non-malt products are used for Rinkuškiai beer production." Good to know. I prefer my beer without both pee and peas.

Thoughts: Poured a pretty standard amber color with a slight dark orange tint and just a sliver of a white head that quickly moved around and bubbled away.

Little bit malty at first. Some spicy hops come flowing through after a couple minutes. It smells pretty sweet and spicy, little bit like alcoholic cherries. There's something diabolic about it though.

Well, this beer actually tastes pretty damn good! I didn't know what to expect at all, but it's very well done. Balance of malts and hops is stupendous. It's like a spicy bread. Taste doesn't change. It's not really a one note beer, it's just very consistent in the stages it goes through. The same stages each time around. All very nice.

It a heavy medium. Tinging. Goes down smooth, and a little bit slow. Mouth coating.

This is a pretty straightforward brew. It starts off spicy and robust, slowly calms after the swallow and leaves a sweet soothing feel. Low bitterness. Not much of a bite for this 8.2%, no pun. Overall this is an enjoyable brew, that leaves a nice taste in your mouth and a mini-fire in yer belly.

Rogue Yellow Snow IPA

2011-12-25T20:54:00.002-06:00

Rogue Yellow Snow IPA - India Pale Ale (2011)

Brewed and Bottled by the Oregon Brwing Co., in Neewport, OR. USA.

Winter Seasonal (Yearly Release)

12 fl. oz. / $2.99 USD / 6.2% ABV

About: "Yellow Snow IPA was originally introduced for the 2000 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City as a tribute to winter sports everywhere (downhill skiing, snowboarding, cross country, ice hockey, ice fishing, snowmobiling, and even curling). Malts: Cara Foam, Melanoiden and Rogue Micro Barley Farm Dare & Risk / Hops: Amarillo and Rogue Micro Hopyard Revolution / Yeast: Free Range Coastal Water and Pacman."

Thoughts: Poured an über light and pale straw yellow with a very slow to form head that puffed up twice its size and spilled over a bit. I may have poured somewhat aggressively. There are bubbles of varying sizes all over the top that bubble down into a frothy stark white head.

Getting some sweet smelling hops first off. Little bit piney, with a touch of lemon zest.

Starts off pretty bitter and gets even more bitter afterwards on the first gulp. Citrus hops demolish the roof of my mouth while grassy hops crawl under the sides of my tongue. The malt is so light it's almost non-existent. I'm not getting much of a taste aside from massive hops and bitter. While I like how strong the hops are here, I'm having trouble identifying with anything else about the beer that I really like... aside from the mouth feel, which is pretty amazing:

It's thick and seriously creamy. Creamy like a warming milkshake.

Finish is dry and mellows later into a grapefruit tone. That's about it. This is offically my second Rogue Ale. Surprisingly I've never tried their Dead Guy, which seems like it would be right up my dark alley. That didn't sound right. Uh... this is a decent brew, but not memorable at all for me. This has four malts and two hops? Could have fooled me and I guess they did.

Wachusett's LARRY Imperial IPA

2011-12-25T20:54:00.001-06:00

Wachusett's LARRY Imperial IPA - The Publick House Series (2011)

Brewed and Bottled by Wachusett Brewing Company, in Westminster, MA. USA.
Rotating? (Limited Release)
22 fl. oz. / $5.59 USD / 7.5% ABV

About: "A Drinkable Imperial. We teamed up with our friends at the Publick House to create this 7.5% ABV, 85 IBU India Pale Ale, so you can enjoy it with yours. Amarillo, Chinook, Simcoe, Magnum, Centennial hops, American Two Row, Crystal and Munich Malts."

Thoughs: Poured a bright orange, with a bit of a yellow amber hue in the light. Huge white puffy head that must have stolen all the carbonation away. There's only a few bubbles in there halfway up, and rising every few seconds.

The smell is serious hops! Little piney, little floral, little grassy and all very sweet smelling. Like mandarin oranges. By definition, this is what an Imperial IPA should smell like. It's absolutely gorgeous! I'm ashamed to have held off so long. As I re-read this I notice it's taken me about seven minutes before I actually tasted it. It just smells so good.

These must be my favorite hops. All of them. Right here. Little bits of burnt buscuit malt fade in, followed by a mild spice on the tongue that later turns to a grassy after tone. Citrus hops bounce around the tongue upon breathing in. The spice gets a little stronger as it warms, but it's fast attacking and doesn't linger. Little bitter, little sweet, little girl I want to eat. The alcohol content, though not incredibly high, is super hidden too... just like the bodies in my basement.

It's quite a bit thick and creamy. Tastes so good that it just flows down. This brew doesn't retreat on you, either. It's sticking around. Is that what they call "syrupy"?

I can't really find any downside to this brew. It smells good, it tastes good, it feels good. Their site addresses this brew as a "drinkable imperial". Well, it's definitely that, and also a drinkable IPA as well. Very drinkable actually. Just smelling and tasting this reminds me of when I was a kid... ya know? Don't get me wrong, I wasn't drinking this out of my baby bottle or mum's tit (I don't think!?). No, I think about how when I was younger and I would smell a beer like this and hold back. I did not know then what I know now. Hey, give me some credit though, I was only five at the time.

"Larry", you are one exceptional brew!

Shipyard Applehead

2011-12-25T19:52:00.003-06:00

Shipyard Applehead (2011)

Winter Seasonal - December through March (New Release)

12 fl. oz. / $1.85 USD / 4.5% ABV

About: "Master brewer Alan Pugsley has combined the subtle sweetness of cinnamon and apple with a clean, refreshing wheat ale to create a whole new beer experience. Malt: 2-Row British Pale Ale, Light Munich, Malted Wheat / Hops: Willamette, Hallertau / Yeast: Top-Fermenting English."

Thoughts: Poured a very light and translucent Granny Smith apple green with a ton of carbonation bubbles going crazy and a little white head that vanished in an instant.

Hmm. Smells pretty good actually. The spices and brew base are obviously a clone of their Pumpkinhead, except this smells really fresh. Incredibly fresh even, and even like a McDonald's apple pie (is that a contradiction?). Haven't had one of those in about fifteen years but this smells like I remember them.

Huh. Not sure if the smell trumps the taste, but that was the first thought that popped into my tiny brain, so it must, right? The smell actually closely resembles the taste and though pretty watered down feeling, there is this incredible little burst of pie crust that's coming through and quite simply saves the beer from the (b)land of oblivion. Must be the wheat background! The spices aren't bad or overpowering, and it tastes clean. It's sweet, and not at all sour.

This is pretty damn watery. Thin. And most surely gets boring after one beer.

Well, I finally broke down and tried it. I'm pretty hard to please when it comes to Apples, Cider and especially Beer with "apples". This beer isn't horrendous though. It's a great deal better than their lazy ass production of Pumpkinhead beers from last year. What, did it all just become too routine? "The zombie hordes will still buy it even if we don't try." This Applehead tastes like it would be on tap, freshly popped like a new cherry. I guess that's the key: a little effort. It is after all a new product. Will this beer steadily decline in quality over the next year or two? I guess we'll see.

Innis and Gunn Holiday Box

2011-12-25T08:29:00.002-06:00

Innis and Gunn Holiday Box (2011)
Brewed and Bottled by Innis And Gunn Brewing Co., in Edinburgh, Scotland. UK.
Contents:
- 1 x 11.2 fl. oz. Bottle Original 6.6% ABV
- 1 x 11.2 fl. oz. Bottle Rum Cask 7.4% ABV
- 1 x 11.2 fl. oz. Bottle Winter Beer 7.4% ABV
- 1 x Branded Glass (with Company Logo)

Box Set Price: $8.99 USD

So let's check these beers out!

Innis and Gunn's Oak Aged Winter Beer 2011 (2011)
Brewed Once (Extremely Limited Release)
11.2 fl. oz. / 7.4% ABV

About: "Carefully matured for 48 days prior to release. Mellow Scottish beer with natural notes of orange zest, vanilla and oak. It is perfect for the cold dark nights of winter, a beer to be sipped, savoured and appreciated."

Thoughts: Poured a dark and hazy reddish auburn with an off-white and small puffy head.

Smells delicious. And pretty spicy, like pepper. There's that definite trademark Innis and Gunn scent. The hops really shine through, yet don't overwhelm. You can definitely smell the oak.

It's just as they describe. Orange zest and vanilla. It sure is an interesting taste I must say. A bit eye opening when it first hits you. Total flavor explosion in the mouth. The orange zest taste is actually pretty remarkable. I've eating orange peel on various occasions and it really is like that. Getting a good amount of the oak here. Loads of vanilla mixed throughout. Very nice balance with the malt backup and those flavorful hops bouncing around.

Medium and a little bit lingering.

They say this one is "mellow" and after trying the Rum and Whiskey Cask brews, yeah, it sure is mellow compared to those two. Compared to other beers though, such as standard US lagers, it is anything but.

Innis and Gunn's Original Oak Aged Beer (2011)

Rotating (Year Round)
11.2 fl. oz. / 6.6% ABV

About: "Carefully matured for 77 days prior to release. To age our beer we use hand-cut American White Oak barrels, which retain an unbeatable richness of flavour deep inside the grain; vanilla, citrus and toffee.

The finest barrels are hand picked in Kentucky, before being heaved over to Scotland. They are then meticulously tended and checked by our coopers, before being filled with our beer. The barrels can only ever be used once. Any more and we just don't get the same delicious character from them."

Thoughts: Poured a pretty light amber orange with a one inch white fluffy head. This beer is very transparent. I can see the mirrored letters I'm typing through the looking glass.

Smells quite strong. Vanilla and honey, and little bit of dad's old rum and cokes. The oak is really nicely embedded in this.

The oak hits first, and this beer lets loose with total flavor! Damn is it good. Very woody and there's that splendid vanilla toffee backdrop. It's like a malty caramel candy with a tingling underlying spiciness.

It's a lighter medium that goes down moderately fizzy and quite smooth.

There's a slight buttery aftertaste which is very welcome.

Innis and Gunn's Rum Cask Oak Aged Beer (2011)
Rotating (Year Round)

11.2 fl. oz. / 7.4% ABV

Original review HERE.

About: "Carefully matured for 57 days prior to release. Maturation in special oak barrels imparts Navy rums with the sweet, spicy character for which they are renowned."

Thoughts: Filled the glass with a dark raspberry that looks more of a light ruby red in the direct light, with a fluffy tan head that left a puddle of foam on the side.

Smells of their original brew, only heavier, and everything is more pronounced.

Compared to their Original brew, this one is a lot sweeter thanks to that Rum Cask. In addition to their trademark style, this brew really releases a dark fruit type tone throughout. It's sweet, smokey, buttery, woody and grand.

Medium and still spicy on the tongue. Doesn't go down as smooth as their original, but pay no mind to that because it's not supposed to.

Yeah, the Rum Cask is still my favorite of theirs. Still, I've only tried three of their brews now so far and if I ever come across one I haven't tried, believe me it will be purchased on sight!

Final Thoughts: Totally unbeatable price for 33 oz. and that cool ass glass. The box is really nice quality and artistically designed very well. If you've never tried any Innis and Gunn beers, then this is the very best starting point to do so. These beers have never disappointed me, and I doubt very much that they'll disappoint you. And hell, sometimes you've got to go out and buy yourself a present when nobody else will.

Heavy Seas Mutiny Fleet Yule Tide

2011-12-24T07:26:00.003-06:00

Heavy Seas Mutiny Fleet Yule Tide Belgian Style Tripel Ale (2010)

Brewed and Bottled by The Clipper City Brewing Company in Baltimore, Maryland. USA.
Winter Seasonal (Limited Release) - RETIRED

22 fl. oz. / $6.49 USD / 10.0% ABV

About: "Slightly sweet with a complex malty flavor. The spicy flavor comes from our unique blend of Trappist yeast and Belgian Candi Sugar, making it both aromatic and flavorful. It will benefit with aging up to two years. Vintage Dated." This version of the brew has been discontinued. The Yule Tide name will live on, just not in the form of a Tripel.

Thoughts: Poured a super light straw yellow with a huge fluffy white head that grew and grew... and continued to grow! Lot of carbonation bubbles rising all over the place.

Smells like Pineapple Juice! Little bit of sour hops. Yeasty. Very fruity. Really, this smells absurdly like Dole Pineapple Slices, especially after you finish a small can and down the remaining juice.

Starts off with a taste like the smell, then a malty slowly but heavily flows in, upon swallowing there's a real spicy kick that scratched at my throat. Let's try that again: Loads of sweet spicy hops, caramel like malts soothe things out and afterwards there's a gentle, semi-sweet bitterness. One great thing I'm finding about the taste of this is that's it's in no way sour at all like I had feared from the scent. More of a sweeter, sweet and sour sauce. Not even really bitter either. Just tropical and sweet. I can still taste of bit of that Belgian yeast which always makes itself apparent, but the main thing I'm getting here is just a pure enjoyment from this brew.

Smooth flowing. No bite at all. Pretty syrupy. A little bit spicy on the tongue, but very mild overall.

I've never had a beer like this I don't think. I like it. I mean, I love pineapple and all that. I don't know if I'm dumbfounded or confused by it or what, but I'm very glad that I had no previous knowledge on what to expect from this. I'm left wondering how the hell is this beer so damn good and what kind of power does Heavy Seas have over me!? It's damn smooth! I'm halfway though and I could seriously just chug the rest of it. Overall an enjoyable, strange and interesting experience. Therefore, recommended. Not really sure how this is Christmas-y, but uh, after tasting this and all the rest from the bunch I don't know what a fuckin' Christmas Beer is supposed to be! Except for Frosted Frog. The only true Christmas-y brew.

Like a Nightmare.

2011-12-23T19:30:00.010-06:00

I feel the despair... Cared so much that I couldn't care

Blackout time, can't stand to be aware

It's not about what I want, it's about what's Fair!

This is my burden to Bare. When I see you girl can't help but Stare,

Wanna Tear. My nostrils Flarin' up, not gonna Share my cup

Just gonna turn it up and come outta that dark room

Stalkin all fucked up, 'bout to Upchuck my gut...

Feel stuck in this land, gotta muck my hand

The Joker's laughing at me and it's more than I can stand

This ain't the MGM Grand, more like Circus-Circus

And I'm feelin' more like John Wayne Gacy or Anthony Perkins, Circa 1978,

Lookin' at you through a hole in the wall while I masturbate in colorful face paint!

Laughin' all the way to the blood bank, that's where I Fill up

Shuffle up and Deal it up... but I can't even feel or deal

Too apathetic to even steal Emotions, just give me the shot

And strap me down before I go into Convulsions!

I'm tired of going through the motions, Wake up and slap the lotion

Hit the bottle of that magic potion, How's this for a fucked up notion?

Is it really worth it to not give a fuck? That's too much work in itself.

I should just kill myself. BLAM!

Finally...! The dealer's been dealt, and finally something I've never felt

Watch my mouth bleed and my face melt. Like I was in Slime City

or Street Trash, murdering hobos with a Sharp Femur Bone or a Whiskey Flask

Takin' it to the back alleys, Screaming In Pain!

Can't get those torturous voices out of my brain... But I must sustain.

Give me some cursed Himalayan yogurt stronger than LSD,

Some Green Wine and a Black Cloak and Let Me Become He.

So I can finally see. Is this my destiny? Should I cut up and gut up the rest of me?

Its a ritual of uneartly and selfish delights, Allow me to share my insights

But beware because my mind You See, it fights with itself

And it frightens itself. I don't even know where my mind is headed

I'm fueled by that 151 shit fuck the unleaded I'm gonna Down It

Drown in it, fuckin' get Deaded, Find a pair of legs and get 'em Spreaded

Bitch ya just got Bedded and Bledded - Beheaded - Shit got me Wetted

No Sweated, and I Fledded, into the Shadowy Dark

Wearing her face as a mask, taking a stroll through the park

Heard a dog bark and it's speakin' my language

Tellin' me "Go out cause widespread panic and anguish!"

It's the Summer of Lust and Sam I am, Fuck a master-plan...

...Just let things happen, a little anarchy to get things Crackin'

I came here for two things: To hear asses clappin' and get necks a snappin'

But instead I think I'll strangle her slow, give her that purple glow

As I whisper sweet things "baby you know that I'll never let go"

Now isn't that a beautiful sight, say I think I may nay I think I might

Adorn my furnature with your flesh and bones tonight.

Jolly Pumpkin Noel de Calabaza

2011-12-22T17:35:00.004-06:00

Jolly Pumpkin Noel de Calabaza - Oak Aged Bottle Conditioned Special Ale (2011)

Brewed and Bottled by Jolly Pumpkin Artisan Ales LLC, in Dexter, Michigan. USA.

Winter Seasonal (Limited Release)

25.4 fl. oz. / $14.99 USD / 9.0% ABV

About: "Belgian Christmas ale aged in oak barrels. Deep mahogany and malty, it offers Layered Hops, Figs, Raisins, Sugar Plums, Cashews Betwixt Rum Laden Truffles."

Thoughts: I had to grab this one. A Jack-O-Lantern with a Christmas cap covered in snow? Heeeelll Yeeeeaaahh... as I popped the cap, it went flying! There's some yeast around the inside of the cap, foaming. I stop, and say a backwards prayer to Lord Glenn Danzig, before setting out to get that feeling he doesn't tend to indulge in: Un-sober.

Poured a dark, very murky, brownish-orange that looked a quite grim actually. It had a huge, fluffy egg-nog white head that was all small beautiful bubbles hiding underneath a thick froth. Thousands of carbonation bubbles rapidly float upward all around the edge of the mug. There's still one-fourth left in the bottom of the bottle that I'll pour in once it's warmed up a bit.

All the voices in my head agree, this smells pretty awesome. It's not jumping out at me like a hurled pumpkin to the back of the dome, but it definitely smells of a Pumpkin type beer (note: there's apparently no pumpkin in this). Sweet and a little bit spicy at first, the more I take it in I start to notice flowery hops. Very earthy and like a fruity pulp.

Light spices... spices... alcohol shock to the facial nerves!... mellowing, pop of hops... second taste: getting fruity tones all around, a malty sensation starts to flow in, then a little bit of sour mash or yeast. After another high alcohol tinge, some sweet sugary candy fruits come through, and then are backed up by those sour, flowery hops. Tasting the air in my mouth a bit and I'm getting freshly cut grass. Cherries. Granny Smith Apples. This is what Mad Elf should have tasted like. The flowery hops (perhaps that strong, sour yeast) are distracting me a bit, overall lowering the score on this one, but it more than makes up for it with the other flavors. If there are those dastardly Saaz hops in this, they're present but laying low just enough.

Thick and frothy. Very giving in the puckering effect department.

It's a bit tart for me. Aftertaste is the wood from that oak barrel. It's all interesting and a sensation in itself, but the semi-overwhelming sourness puts a harness on this rabid weasel!

Alright, pouring the rest in. There were only a few little pits and pieces floating around earlier on, and it hasn't seemed to change this time around. Though, it's really hard to tell as the brew may appear a little lighter from an angle, once you try to look through it the middle turns darker than dark. It's not the most balanced that it could probably be, but the malts do a fine job of holding that sour back a bit... not much, but a bit. The malts and spices (that aren't heavy, nor peppery) save this brew from complete disaster. That yeast is strong! And whatever hops they used didn't exactly help matters. Thankfully it seems it all has worked out in the end, aside from a dry raspy feeling I'm gettin' in my throat right about now from talkin' so much.