Milla Jovovich... Stalked and Slashed!

Let's start off the way I usually like to do things and that's with this pretty lady putting make-up on in the bathroom mirror. Hmm. Just typing that out makes me feel like a weird motherfucker... but you know what? I kinda like that feeling.

I can't be alone in these feelings as I see movies all the time where a girl looks herself over and puts on make-up, pampers herself and shaves various places, or puts her hair up while topless... or even does some amateur cheerleader performances before going at it in a 69 on a stairway. What I'm saying is women are beautiful creatures meant to be stalked admired.

It's as if every little thing they do has a power of its own over me.

She's so pretty! She smells so good! And the way she blatantly ignores me...

It sure is frustrating being so powerless towards this object of my desire.

What's a man to do, in this day and age, to get a little attention from a girl he so doth admire!?

Something unspeakable, perhaps? Yes... oh, oh yes. Indeed.

I'd rather hold hands.

But I'm a hopeless romantic in that sense. Heh.

Milla Jovovich is having some trouble sleeping...

 

"I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams."

Drowning. A common occurrence in the world of nightmares.

However...

Getting your throat slashed by a straight razor wielding faceless maniac in black leather gloves?

Not so much.

Kate Beckinsale Wrapped in Plastic.

Behind the scenes of Contraband (2012). Here, Kate Beckinsale talks about her first day on the job, where she's welcomed to the set, covered in fake blood, wrapped in plastic and nearly buried alive! And not only is she totally cool with it, she has one hell of a time playing dead. Oddly hot?

You bet your burrito!

Too cute to bury? Is that even possible!!?

  She sure is cheerful about it all... like I said, that's oddly hot!
Don't give me any ideas Katie.

Another of the behind the scenes featurettes shows her doing Stunt Work with co-star Giovanni Ribisi as he manhandles her, and they share a few laughs between the violent altercations. 

That looks painful. But wait until she watches this movie... then she'll know what true pain is.

Kate Beckinsale gets her ass beat in Contraband!

"Kate Beckinsale gets the shit kicked out of her in Contraband!" would work just as well. Pretty Kate has it pretty rough in this movie. Her former criminal husband is out of town, forced to run a job to save her little brother's sorry ass, and the local high-up thug who wants his money yesterday just keeps showing up to torment and abuse her. The poor thing. 

Here's a shot of her not getting her ass kicked.

Such a beauty! I'd prefer it if she had a little bit more smeared black mascara running down her face and more of a disheveled look to her through. Hang on...

 Now that's more like it!

Now she's looking really hot.

...and I'd say she looks absolutely smashing in this picture!

She's actually one tough chick in this movie, always fighting back and never giving in... but it's hard to feel sympathy for it based on those two attributes and the fact that she married a (self-reformed) criminal. Meh.

I mean, it's probably only a matter of time before she's wrapped in plastic and covered in cement, right?

Thought so.

I would have liked to see more of Kate in this film though. If you know what I mean! And also, the director on this one needs to focus his damn camera once in a while... or at least when it's on KB. I want to look at her, not look at blur. And with that cast this movie should have been a hell of a lot better too.

 Such a pity.