Ommegang Game of Thrones FIRE AND BLOOD

Ommegang Game of Thrones FIRE AND BLOOD Red Ale (2014)

Limited Release.

25.4 fl. oz. (x3) / $25.47 USD  / 6.8% ABV

About: "Ommegang and HBO announce the newest beer in the Game of Thrones collaboration series. Through its first three seasons, the critically acclaimed drama has become the biggest show on HBO. Named after the motto of House Targaryen, Fire and Blood is inspired by Daenerys Targaryen and her three dragons, Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion. To celebrate the rebirth of dragons, three different labels were created by the Game of Thrones visual effects specialists, each depicting one of Daenerys' feared dragons. Randomly distributed amongst the cases, each case will contain all three bottles.  Malt: Pilsner, Cara-60, Midnight Wheat, flaked rye and spelt / Hops: CTZ, Styrian Golding, German Tettnang / Spices: Ancho Chilies. Pair with pastrami, jerk chicken, pulled pork, Mexican cuisine (such as burritos), and sharp cheddar and pepper jack cheeses."

Thoughts: Just a quick note: the poured brew photo was from the last bottle I drank and the review was from the first so the visual description is a bit different. I took photos of all three pours but will probably only just post the fire breather for now.

Uncaged this fucker, took a firm grip and twisted that cork out, giving way to a lot of emerging silver smoke. Nice! Took a whiff from the bottle: very Belgian.

There's a ton of carbonation in this. A TON! My cup is half head. It's a deep red with shades of auburn and burnt orange. Aside from the semi-darkness and the black bubbles rising up at an alarming rate, the beer is actually pretty clear and see-through from a close enough point.

Strong Belgain yeast in the scent. Very herbal and floral. Am I getting ancho chilis in the scent, that is the question!? Perhaps. There's an essence of that chili here, a boiled down oily version of what once was. It is imparted into the beer, which is good. This makes for a totally insane smelling mixture here. It's quite profound. I would have probably disliked the smell of this beer years ago, now I ache for it.

First gulp and man, this is one strange beer. I bought three bottles and probably will buy a forth anyways, but it's definitely unique. The rye that kicks in is what probably got me. I just picked up the bottle and read the side of it, and there it is: rye. Damn there's some solid rye up in this son of a bitch let me tell you! This beer is all over the place actually. Starts off sweet and yeasty, then that rye builds up and kicks your fuckin' ass, then as it slowly - and The Rock MEANS SLOOOOOOWWWLLLYYY!!! - fades, a bit of bouncing dark fruits kick in and a medicinal nuttiness. It's a pretty fucking weird beer and kind of reminds me of a DFH ancient ale. I was hoping it would be spicy, but alas, it is not. It's got a very peppery spiciness to it and the essence of those peppers, but spicy hot, it is f'n not. Too bad. I wanted this shit to burn like fire and make my insides bleed.

I haven't been particularly impressed by any of the Game of Thrones beers, but you know what? I keep on fuckin' buying em man. They put three different labels out with three different dragons and I grabbed all three like a fiend. A fiend I tell you!!!1

Final thought: Could use a bit more fire and brimstone.

Emilia Clarke gets Manhandled in Game of Thrones (2011)

When Daenerys Targaryen got basically bent over and sold to Khal Drogo by her totally gay brother Viserys, she was petrified at the thought of this monstrous looking fucker completely ravaging her with his dominating rage-filled lust and muscular physique. ;) After all, this scary looking bastard is a brute savage and could easily just rip her beautiful head off during violent sex. One can only hope to see such things, right?

Vaginal Viserys walks his sexy sister out to The Great One and parades her soft supple titty-nipples up as an offering of "good faith" to ensure a deal that he will hopefully soon become a King among peasants, with Drogo's powerful reinforcements of course. "You get to rape my sister daily and forever, as long as you help me conquer the land" is pretty much what the fuck this frilly fool's plan is. Khal Drogo knows what's up, of course, but this man is not one to pass up the most easily breakable deal of a lifetime... especially when it's all in his favor. 

Don't look so shocked honey-pie! 

I wear make-up too.

Blondie's brother however, would have never expected the golden shower crown of cum he'd receive at the end of it all. But man was I glad to see that prissy little shit get halo'd. Dude really pissed me off hardcore. If that was my sister I never would have done what he did! Fuck, I would have kept her all to myself to molest. But whatever, I relate more with Khal anyways. At least when it comes to being a scary ass motherfucker who doesn't talk and likes to be scary and not talk with horrified hotties standing around being horrified and hot that is.

So then we come to the good part. The sun is setting on their wedding night, and man is it one f'n romantic scene. They're standing at the ocean, the two of them alone, and things start getting hot n' heavy. The little blonde girl is crying, just the way I like it, and the animalistic predator is circling her like prey to be feasted upon! Now... If you feel an intense and crushing sexual wetness down below, just take a second to realize that this only means that you are a sane human being.

Though the scene cuts short unfortunately at around the moment Beast restrains the Beauty's arms and holds her tightly by the neck, it was still rather gratifying in mine eyes as I felt these moments more than worthy to post upon my humble blog. This kind of stuff is what I'm all about. I'll leave you now with a final image of what I consider to be the sexiest out of the whole post. Check that out! If that doesn't tickle your junk then you're not in the same realm mentally as your old pal Drunketh.

Emilia Clarke takes a sizzling bath in Game of Thrones (2011)

When I first started watching Game of Thrones, this incredibly sultry hot blonde named Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) showed up and the first thought that entered my brain was "holy fuck... I hope she get naked!" C'mon, you know me. What else would you expect? With that forlorn, destitute look on her face I could only imagine the sensual tear-shedding leg-spreading bet-wetting sessions that were in store. Sadness, of course, is and has always been my favorite starting point. So needless to say, I was a little more than excited. 

It was that very moment when her brother walked into the "Virginal Bathing Room" and began to molest his dearest sister, much to my twisted delight! "Awww sheit" I said to myself, "...here we go!"  Yes indeed, there he is sizing her up but for some reason not enjoying it (he's obviously from the House of Flames, if you know what I mean - la-de-da!). He wants to pawn his 'dumb bitch of a sister' off to some neanderthal for his own personal gain of course, but that's all politics and I'm not here to discuss such matters.

No, I'm here to discuss titties!

That's right Daenerys... don't look so surprised. 

"My titties?" She asks while looking up at me with those sweet little titties...

"Yes." I reply to the cute little voice in my head as I walk away to masturbate alone.

Then this weird thing happens where she steps into this steaming hot bath that could easily peel the flesh off of any normal human, and she doesn't even blink. Since I don't know what's going on yet with the series at this point I just assume that she's just some fucking sadomasochistic, post-traumatic molesting-brother hypnotic-induced empty-soul pain-freak!!1? But *spoiler alert*, it turns out that she's just hot... under the collar! ;) If you know wh

Stay tuned next time for more Titties and Beer right here on Titties and Beer, the site that obsesses over titties while beer is consumed while titties are looked at while drinking beer is drunk. Will there be more to come from sweet little Emilia? You bet your sweet little huge beer covered titties and blonde wig there will be. Will I actually focus on my artistic craft instead of just taking snapshots of hot girl's titties? You just keep clicking that update in your reading list to find out! But if you don't see tits, blood or beer... then perhaps I've officially lost my brain. In that case you should call your nearest embalmer, embed the last pic I posted into my retinas 4 Flies style and rest my hands on my cock. Just in case.

Twilight 5 - Breaking Dawn: Part 2 (2012)

Twilight 5 - Breaking Dawn: Part 2 (2012)
[Rated PG-13: for sequences of violence including disturbing images, some sensuality and partial nudity]

Breaking Dawn Part 2 starts off very quietly with Bella in a room looking at herself in a mirror. She looks fabulous! Edward slowly walks and they softly touch each other  hold hands and kiss. They tell one another "I love you", then Edward smiles and tells her "We're the same temperature now." Awww. Hey, you think she practiced with a Popsicle before they finally had sex? After staring at herself and her husband for a while, Bella remembers that she just had a baby. "Renesmee, where is she? I have to see her!" Edward says that Bella can't see her until she feeds, so they go out and do some vampire stuff. When they come back, Jacob is waiting (with a shirt on for once) and he slowly lets her sniff him to get acquainted with hopefully not wanting to eat him I suppose? Through a series of unspoken nods, Edward and Jacob decide it's safe for Bella to see her own child. And here we're introduced to the most beautiful, creepiest looking motion-capture CGI baby version of an eleven year old actress you'll ever witness in your entire life. 

At this time Bella is unaware that Jacob has imprinted on her newborn baby Renesmee, something which ultimately means that he'll be having sex with her for the rest of their lives by the time she's seven years old (which is supposedly 16-18 in Dhampir years?) Everyone else knows this however, (and through a series of unspoken nods) they try for about a minute to keep things quiet after Bella awakens from her deathly slumber. But treating her as a stupid little girl doesn't seem to work any longer as she's now got golden red eyes and no pulse. She wants to know why Jacob gives such a shit about her baby and nobody getting eaten in her newborn state, and why he's being so clingy not all of a sudden. So Edward and Jacob agree to tell her (through a series of unspoken nods) that he has indeed made an "uncontrollable" wolf-clan mind-meld with one-day-old Renesmee and that their souls will forever be forced together (something Jacob always wanted to do with first and only other love Bella but couldn't, since she is a "Shield").

Bella becomes understandably pissed off and beats the shit out of him for this, shouting things like "I haven't even held her in my arms and you've taken her from me!" and the utterly fantastic "YOU NICKNAMED MY BABY AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!!?" upon hearing him refer to her as "Nesse". He's like, "Bella, It's not what it looks like! You've gotta understand, I know she's just a baby but we're getting married." Or some shit like that, and it's great, because it IS what it looks like. I can't believe they're trying to sugarcoat this... I mean, I'm sure they'll wait until the time is right. By this time Jacob is in Edward and Bella's lives forever, and no matter how pissed off Bella originally was about this, Jacob even starts living at the Cullen's house. Which is pretty fucking bizarre considering how everything started out. But by now with these films and how ridiculous they've become over time with the sequels, nothing like this should be a surprise by now. They're all one big fucked up, not-really-happy but gloomy and forlorn family.

So I guess the plot of the story is that vampire Irina (the immaculate Maggie Grace) witnesses the young girl Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy) floating through the air collecting snowflakes for Bella and Jacob. She stares at them for a while in shock and disgust, before running off to Italy to tell the Volturi that the Cullens have created a vampire child - something strictly forbidden and a crime punishable by death! Of course, Renesmee is actually only half-vampire (which for whatever reason isn't that bad?), so the Cullen clan goes around the world searching for other vampires to be witnesses to this, in hopes that nobody will die. SPOILERS: Everyone dies! I guess in the books nothing really happens at the end... that's what I heard. The Volturi show up and it's all drama, they're all about to kill everyone, but are convinced not to because the girl is half human, and they all live happily ever after. The filmmakers here added a little bit of action to the finale here, and man, did it make for one hell of a cinematic experience!

If you're going to ever watch this film, the absolute best time to do so would be right now in the Cinema with tons of unsuspecting fangirls of all ages. Why? Because you're going to want to be there to experience the reactions when their beloved characters are crushed to death and gets their heads ripped off. When the time for the big standoff comes, shit gets really intense (the music stops) and Aro (Michael Sheen) does his best impression of Nicholas Cage in Face/Off after snorting all those drugs. This fuckin' guy is nuts, so anything can happen here. After discovering that Renesmee isn't a true vampire child, Irena takes responsibility for her mistake and wasting their time... to which they then rip off her arms and head and light her on fire. Boo-yah! When the Volturi grab hold of Alice, she tells them that nothing she shows them will change their decision to fight and kill. And just when it seems that she's done for, father of the Cullen clan Carlisle runs to her aid.

As he runs towards the Volturi mob, Aro charges towards him and they both collide in mid-air. Aro lands crouching in the snow and Carlisle falls to the ground. As Aro rises up slowly, we see that he's holding Carlisle's severed head in his hand. Every single chick in the theater let out a super loud Gasp when this happened, and it was awesome. Even I was shocked admittedly. Who the hell would have expected that? Esme (Elisabeth Reaser), Carlisle's wife, lets out a horrified scream. Then both parties run towards the other and the bloodshed ensues. There was a buzzing throughout the room when the battle finally began. The screen was chaos with some fodder getting offed first, then Jane (Dakota Fanning) gets sight of Jasper (Jackson Rathbone). Bella tries to project her shielding abilities to protect him, but is ambushed by Jane's brother Alec (Cameron Bright). Without Bella's protection and outnumbered, Jane applies her "PAIN" spell on him. Jasper falls to his knees and the Volturi guard Demetri karate-chops his head clean off! 

At this point with Alice's boyfriend dead, the crowd starts to fucking lose it. I could hear "OMG"s everywhere, girls started breaking down and crying, and one chick just kept repeating the phrase "What is happening?! Are you serious?! What is happening?!" Wolf brother and sister Seth and Leah got it next. Jane then hit Seth the "PAIN" and a Volturi guard crushed his neck in about thirty places, dropping his drooling doggy corpse to the ground. Leah sacrificed herself to save Esme from being dragged down to hell and fell (in super sad slow motion with emphasis on crying wolf eyes) down into a lava pit. Nobody could sit still, people were thrashing around in their seats and I was waiting for someone to faint, but then the tides turned on the Volturi. Edward ripped off one of the guards heads with a twirly wrestling move. The blonde snobby Volturi guy got his face ripped in half lengthwise by some hot blonde vamp chicks, leaving his chin and tongue tangling as he fell to the ground. The older Volturi gentleman was torn to shreds after quietly whispering to himself "Finally" and allowing it to happen.

Emmett drops Alec on his back and kicks him in the throat, knocking him three feet into the soil. He then  rips his body from his head, by the feet(!), much to the dismay of Jane. As Aro and Jane begin to notice that things aren't going so well anymore, Alice makes a mad dash for Jane while under the protection of Bella. Jane for the first time in the series feels the fear, makes a face that looks like she's pissing herself, and starts to run away. The crowd goes nuts, laughing out loud and clapping. Alice grabs her by the throat, Jane shits bricks, and then Alice feeds her head first to big, black wolf Sam. Sam tears her head clean off and tosses it aside and the whole crowd cheers. Some people even stand up and scream. This was by far the loudest reaction during the whole movie. Man, people must have hated that bitch. With the whole theater in pandemonium, Bella and Edward double teamed Aro. Edward kicked him in the nuts and Bella jumped on his back and twisted his head off like a bottle cap. The place was in hysterics, when suddenly, as Bella was just about to light Aro's head on fire and we're staring into his fearful eyes, the scene cuts back to Alice holding Aro's hand. The sinister reveal that mind-fucked everyone in the audience, and left everyone talking till the end credits was tremendous. "They made me cry, those bastards!"

Even though the scene occurred as she was (or just after she was) showing him a vision, it was of course shown to us differently than the rest have been so far, and it was done seamlessly. Of course, this was done to trick the audience into as many emotions as possible and it totally worked. Some have said that this is a big "FU" to the people, or that the filmmakers were intentionally fucking with the rabid fans by pulling their heartstrings but I say Whatev! That shit was hilarious! I'm begging for an extended cut where more of the main characters die. Some of them seemed a bit left out of this battle, which was the only downside to it since Emmett and Rosalie could have died too. Even though everyone really didn't die, there actually was one true death in this one. The vampire girl Irena, who stuck her nose where it didn't belong. I guess the moral of the story is that bitches shouldn't fuck around in other people's business. If she hadn't been snooping around and later ran her mouth, everything would have been fine and she'd still be alive. No matter how hot she is, this sort of thing shouldn't be tolerated in any way, shape or form.

So all in all my niece and I had a great time seeing this along with all of those sobbing, orgasming and heart attack having girls. It was a pretty diverse crowd actually, but everyone got swept up in the final act. A plus for the grown men in the audience, we got to see a lot of decapitations and well, that dude's face being ripped lengthwise in half was the scene that had me laughing for about a minute. There was also a very PG-13 sex scene towards the beginning, with a lot of close-ups of legs, and arms conveniently covering boobs. Acting and make-up are of course what to be expected with these Twilight films. No matter how sappy or juvenile the story may ultimately be, a majority of side characters got some ample time in these last five films to make at least an impact when they were killed off. There were also a lot of ultra close-ups, a lot of airbrushing in some scenes (specifically on Bella and Renesmee's faces) and there's the issue of the CGI on actress Mackenzie Foy to superimpose her face on an animatronic baby or later in a future vision, a teenager. It wasn't overly horrible, just very noticeable.

The Twilight "Saga" may be a series of films where very little actually happens, but I can appreciate it for what it really is... and that's stupid, stupid fun. It sends a horrible message to young women, it's completely ridiculous, and it's all based around an incredibly selfish, stuttering, blinking, suicidal girl played by the incredibly hot Kristen Stewart. People say that these movies "Ruined Vampires", but similar shit was said when Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt were cast in Interview, and look at that movie now. It's pretty badass. You just wait... in about twenty years we'll be looking back at the heyday when Sparkling Vampires like Edward weren't such pussies as compared to what they've got now. Now that it's all "over" now, what's there to look forward to? Next year a new movie based on another of Stephanie Myers' books is coming out, called The Host. Who's starring in it you ask? Saoirse Ronan, who I at the moment am completely obsessed with. Just like with Kristen Stewart, these fuckers keep finding a way to pull me into this chubby author's world. Till next time... keep on Sparklin'.

Go ask Alice... if she Spits or Swallows!?

I'm a sick motherfucker, you know that? And I ain't even too utterly buzzed yet. I was disputing that above title against "Kate Beckinsale in Pigtails"... but man, ya know, what can I say? I'm seriously disturbed in the brain. The ladies like it? New York Ripper style toejob to the vag, that's my subtlety. -_- Plus, I started off the last four posts with Kate's name so I thought I'd mix it up a bit.

Obligatory O-Face to start things off and let's get this party started:

Eat me! Drink me! Anyway you want me!

Alice encounters the Red Queen for the first time and you'll thank me now for not posting the view of her face... no offense to the older English talented old ladies out there, but it's not my thang. I like 'em young, dumb, blind and not so demanding if that's ok. Thaaaaaaanks.

Alice is of course thirsty as shit, seeing as there's no brewery about these parts...

...so the Queen offers her a biscuit! How nice. Is it liquid? Nah. But it soon will be.

Put it in your mouth!

Uh-oh!

 

Oh no! That ain't good...

 But at least it wasn't all over my belly this time around!

She seems happy... but as expected, gets pouty rather quickly. Meh. Grrls. 

But you know how you are, right Girls? Mad one second, astonished the next. Poor pigtails is in Trouble!

But we can count on the pouty look to get her out of this situation. Works every time... right?