Clown Shoes Vampire Slayer

Clown Shoes Vampire Slayer Second Anniversary Ale - Imperial American Stout (2011)

Limited Release (Brewed Once).

22 fl. oz. / $8.49 USD / 10% ABV

About: "In a world full of uncertainty, hardship, and people trying to hold us back, do we need Vampires, too? Clown Shoes says, “No! Die, monsters, die!” Right about now I'm thinking Die Clown Shoes Die. "Our second anniversary ale incorporates signature dark malts, holy water, and malt smoked locally with hickory, ash, and vampire killing stakes."

Thoughts: I christened my new Jason Voorhees Pint Glass with Vampire Slayer, a deep dark stout made with... holy water?! Vampire Slayer poured a near black with a hard to distinguish dark brown or burgundy during. The one-finger milk chocolate head started to fade and left a black crescent moon in the corner of the glass.

The smell is sweet, malty, and sugary. There's a toasty hint, kind of woodsy and there's a nice level of smokey chocolate. It basically smells like a heavily alcoholic ice cold chocolate milk.

Well, let's sink our teeth into this one. Hopefully my insides don't liquify and my body turns to dust! Taste is of roasted malts up front, as they diminish there's a high tinge of alcohol that buzzes around... then a very low level of grassy hop, and after that, almonds. That's probably the hickory. I already like this a hell of a lot better than their First Anniversary Ale. The dusty grass of the hops are so incredibly low and just let the malt bomb go free. The smokiness is what really gives this stout a little bit more of something special.

Mouth feel is a medium with a bit of froth that leaves a clean swallow with no residue.

I like this stout as it doesn't taste at all like coffee, but the chocolate isn't a huge overwhelming factor. This is a mellow beer for a 10% ABV, but it is so incredibly sweet and enjoyable. I guess the main thing is that I enjoyed it and feel good about the purchase. And with that, it's time to move on.

Clown Shoes Chocolate Sombrero and Pecan Pie Porter

Clown Shoes Chocolate Sombrero - Mexican-Style Chocolate Stout (2012)

Year Round Brew.

22 fl. oz. / $8.49 USD / 9% ABV

About: "Roasted dark malts plus extra chocolate malts plus ancho chile plus cinnamon plus vanilla extract plus a chocolate loving, beer drinking, Clown Shoes wearing, multi-limbed, gorgeous and glorious Mexican wrestler on the label. That’s the recipe for a Chocolate Sombrero!"

Thoughts: I feel like for this beer, it would be the perfect time to have a mug shaped like a boot. Don't know why.

Poured a dense black(!) with a slow forming thick and frothy caramel colored head. 

Smells pretty damn good. Chocolatey, sweet and spicy. There's a roasted tone lingering throughout, a bit like coffee but not really... and there's a hint of cinnamon rolls and dark chocolate.

It's pleasant and only a slight hint of grassy hops around the back end. The taste first off isn't overwhelming in any area other than strong alcohol though, so I'll let it warm and get back to it in a second to see if I can differentiate any flavors. The ancho chiles and vanilla extract really give it a distinct flavor that's pretty nice, and once that and the malty flavors die down there's a calm and gentle hop profile. Nothing here is taken to the extreme. This kind of reminds me of Wachusett's Milk Stout, only with added vanilla and ancho chiles. Last few gulps are peppery than the rest.

This beer is really smooth. Incredibly smooth even. You'd be amazed. It feels light enough in the mouth, but medium on the way down and heavy in the belly.

I know this isn't really a Chile beer, but man, whenever I hear that a beer is brewed with chiles I always hope that it's going to be strong and spicy. The chile flavor here, while noticeable at first, gets overwhelmed by the earthy hops once the brew starts to warm. The cinnamon and vanilla add to the flavor at first, but both of those things always blend in once consumed in this form. The cinnamon isn't strong to begin with and the vanilla is pretty laid back too. Overall this brew is a very tasty, smooth and fun... though, not terribly exciting in any way.

Clown Shoes Pecan Pie Porter (2011)

Year Round Brew.

22 fl. oz. / $6.49 USD / 7%  ABV

About: "Pecans suck. That’s what I thought as a kid. Now I love them. So much so that I decided to go create a beer in homage to the pecan as it finds the perfect home: a pie. Our Pecan Pie Porter balances sweet and nutty porter flavors with the subtle addition of all natural and organic pecan concentrate and butter pecan extract. The result is mouthwatering goodness."

Thoughts: Popped the cap and there was this strange fruity cereal buzzing around. Very strong. Pecan Pie poured a dark dark brown into a pitch black with a light tan head that exploded out of the bottle.

Smells kinda like fruity pebbles. As I lean in further I get a lot more of a chocolate malt, plums, and a slight hint of booze. It smells interesting, and pretty good. 

Huh. Taste isn't as exciting as the scent unfortunately as I was hit with somewhat of an instant blandness, chalky smoke and minor grassy hops. Holding it in, it's mostly a roasted malt flavor. The pecans and oil add a nice little touch, but I'm not really finding anything remotely exciting about this brew. The flavor fades extremely fast, leaving only a little bit of watery chalk behind. Once it warms it becomes even more of a one note brew.

Mouth is absurdly watery with a gentle fizz, and that's about it.

I'm not much of a porter fan to begin with, but I was actually looking forward to trying this. It really sucks that once this beer is swallowed there's an aftertaste of the smell of extinguished cigarettes. Oh, and no, I don't smoke. Sorry Clown Shoes, but this beer is boring! Consider me disappointed.

Clown Shoes Lubrication

Clown Shoes Lubricaition - American Black Ale (2011)
Year Round Brew.
22 fl. oz. / $5.79 USD / 6% ABV

About: "Lube? Hey, get your mind out of the gutter. Social lubrication, people coming together to unwind, is what we are talking about.  This American Black Ale has a dark body, medium bitterness, balanced with West Coast hops and sweet orange peel."

Thoughts: Poured a dark, dark brown out of the bottle that settled into a fairly dense shade of black, with a lighter than expected creamy tan head.

First scent was a blast of hops and citrus. Nice. As I lean in for a while I get a bit of roasted malts lowly hovering in the background.

Taste is of piney hops for the most part... and prunes? There's a mega bitter, stale coffee at the end and I'm not really feelin' it.

Mouth is seemingly lighter than water. It's pretty fizzy and easily swished around in the mouth.

After warming the flavors all start to blend together a little bit more and there's more of a relaxed feel to it, but I wouldn't consider myself a fan of this particular brew. It's definitely missing something. Perhaps strength or a bit more in the flavor department. The grassy piney hops and that bitterness just take over the whole brew and that's what it is.

Clown Shoes Clementine

Clown Shoes Clementine White Ale - Ale brewed with spices and natural flavor added (2011)

Year Round Brew.

22 fl. oz. / $4.49 USD / 6% ABV

About: A New Boston Tradition. Clementine is Clown Shoes Beer’s Belgian style White Ale. Light-bodied and crisp, this is a terrific White Ale with plenty of zest! Hazy in appearance and healthily carbonated, it utilizes Chambly yeast to energetically shape its wheat malt base. Incorporated in the brewing process is Clementine, sweet orange peel, a hint of Coriander, and Summit hops. At a sly, easy-drinking 5.9%, Clementine is dynamic and flavorful enough to satisfy discerning craft beer palates, yet light enough to count among “sessionable” beers."

Thoughts: Clementine poured a very light straw yellow with a rapidly depleting stark white sliver of a head. Massive amounts of carbonation bubbles arise from everywhere in the transparent yet slightly hazy brew.

First scent is that of beer - the classic beer scent, if there is such a thing. I lean in once more and it smells vaguely of a Belgian yeast, but I'm not sure if there's any of that in here (I always post company descriptions after my own thoughts are typed up). I lean in once more and it becomes even more evident. It doesn't say anything on the label about that, but there's no mistaking Belgian yeast! Aside from that it smells a bit citrusy, almost like grapefruit or lemon but not exactly both.

Tastes damn fine! Remarkably crisp. That sweet orange peel really comes out in a big burst of flavor, with that coriander lightly flowing through the gulp, there's an underlying flow of raw wheat, and these grassy - but very sweet grassy - hops right at the end that blend right in. The flavors come out all individually, but their blended form is just beautiful. This is a great summer beer. Unfortunately it's 69 degrees right now (lately it's been snowing or cold as hell, much to my liking), so this is fitting perfectly in with the end of my horridly warm day. It's light, flavorful and goes down easy. Alright, I'm pouring in the last third of the bottle... I wonder what surprises are in store:

A welcome change in appearance. The beer is now a complete haze. Small yet long strands of sediment yeast circle and flow throughout the beer before dissolving into the clouds. Dark black peppery flakes adorn the bottom inside edge of the curved glass. The taste becomes slightly more pungent after the bottom of the bottle is in there. This beer is light and watery, not heavy at all and this bomber could easily be chugged down without stopping to take a single breath, or downed in two or three large chugs. But while it's watery feeling and so light, the flavor is complimented by this tingling spice and ridiculous amounts of bubbles.

I wouldn't say that this beer is sour, not at all, it's a bit tart... but sweet at the same time. Aftertaste is pretty chalky for the most part with some very mild sweet and grassy fuzz on the back of the tongue. I'm burping a lot, and each time it comes back up tasting pretty good. I'm satisfied in this beer, one style in which I'm not normally so fond of but don't have a real problem with. Maybe I just got this at the right time, but I think I chose well. One package store has every single Clown Shoes beer and the one I visited today after my twelve hour shift, which is right in the middle between my work and home, has only this one. I probably would have picked this one up last out of their line-up if there was another way about it, but I'm glad it was there for me today.

Clown Shoes Hoppy Feet 1.5

Clown Shoes Hoppy Feet 1.5 First Anniversary Ale - double black india pale ale (2010)
Brewed and Bottled by the Mercury Brewing Co., in Ipswich, MA. USA.
Limited Release (Brewed Once)
22 fl. oz. / $9.49 USD / 10% ABV

About: "One year of brutal work and abundant shenanigans is in the books. So, we up sized Hoppy Feet (...lovingly crafted by combining Premium malt with lots of Amarillo and Columbus Hops. Grapefruit and Pine are balanced on the nose and on the palate by a nutty, dark chocolate, roasted backbone) and dry hopped it twice. The huge, complex flavors and powerful hop and malt aromas make a worthy tribute. Thank you, each one of you, for helping make our dreams real."

Thoughts: Poured a dark brown initially out of the bottle, that immediately transformed into a solid pitch black in the glass. The head was a one-finger with a khaki color and it didn't last all too long. There are puddles of foam atop the brew now.

Juicy plums dipped in chocolate sauce. It smells really strong, so I better get ready for my head to be knocked backwards. It's a hazy strong dark fruit scent with a strange background that almost like graham crackers and caramel. 

First gulp went through about four or five phases. Smooth and strong, then spicy, there's an alcohol burn after the swallow, with a grassy afterglow, and a hint of coffee at the end of everything. Mostly it's just that hazy burn, with an aftereffect of breathing some pepper dust. After warming, the overwhelming sensation of booze dies down a bit and the flavor really comes through. It's of dusty hops up front, lingering grassy hops following close behind, and dirty caramel.

Mouth is clear and pleasant, not too low or high of bubbles, and there's no lingering effects.

3/4th's of the way through and it's pretty much just OK for me. Nothing really stood out taste-wise that especially impressed me, and at the same time, I wasn't really disappointed to any severe degree. It's got the pluses and minuses, and it infected my sinuses, but in the end, it's probably just a hopped up version of their Hoppy Feet brew. After tasting this I'm bound to try many of their other brews, but not the Hoppy Feet normal release anytime soon. So we'll see...