October 21, 2014

New Holland Ichabod Pumpkin Ale

New Holland Ichabod Pumpkin Ale (2014)
Brewed and Bottled by New Holland Brewing in Holland, Michigan, USA.
Seasonal Release / 12 fl. oz. (x6) / $10.99 USD / 5.2% ABV

About: "Ichabod combines malted barley and real pumpkin with cinnamon and nutmeg in a delicious and inviting brew. After dinner, try it with your favorite dessert. Malts: 2 row, crystal / Hops: Cascade / Yeast: American Ale / Pairings: Roasted poultry, root vegetables, peanut sauce and caraway."

Thoughts: Ichabod poured a muddy blood orange color, kinda like an auburn brown. It's cloudy but not grainy, little to no carbonation with a soft white head that diminished quickly, leaving foam clinging to the glass.

Smells like boiled pumpkin for the most part. Not too heavy on the spices. It's probably never going to be mistaken for anything other than a pumpkin ale, but a really sweet smelling one it is not. This is one of those earthy and raw organic smelling brews. There's cinnamon and nutmeg present, so there's that I guess.

The smell is actually a bit more like pumpkin pie than the taste is though. This is pretty bittersweet, but it's not bad at all. The spices come through heavy and it all makes sense when you drink it. Tastes natural and is actually pleasant, but could it use some sugar or vanilla or some more pumpkin spice? You bet your ass it could. I'm not really into those mass-produced synthetic pumpkin beers, and while I do like this version of pumpkin ales, the ones like this really leave me wanting that extra sugar kick on the end. Because really, a beer like this with some more of that traditional pumpkin pie flavor couldn't really hurt. This one is good but the last of the 6 is really taxing me here.

Tons of gourd and gentle sweetness here. It's enjoyable and fun. In fact, I didn't get tired of it the whole way through. Only I wished it was a bit more over the top. Though I didn't mind how it is.

September 20, 2014

Dogfish Head Kvasir and Birra Etrusca

Dogfish Head Kvasir (2013)
Occasional Rarity (Limited Release).
25.4 fl. oz. / $9.99 USD / 10% ABV

About: "With the help of biomolecular archaeologist Dr. Patrick McGovern, we've re‐created another Ancient Ale, this time from the Nordic climes of Scandinavia. The recipe for Kvasir was developed with the help of chemical, botanical and pollen evidence taken from a 3,500‐year‐old Danish drinking vessel. The vessel, made of birch bark, was found in the tomb of a leather‐clad woman Dr. Pat says was probably an upper-class dancer or priestess. The analysis pointed to the ingredients used in this unique brew: wheat, lingonberries, cranberries, myrica gale, yarrow, honey and birch syrup.

The base of Kvasir is a toasty red winter wheat, and the bog-grown berries deliver a pungent tartness. While a handful of hops is used, the earthy, bitter counterpunch to the sweet honey and birch syrup comes from the herbs. Food Pairing Recommendations: Sweet-­‐and-­‐sour pork, beef tacos with pickled vegetables, smoked salmon, root vegetables, fresh gingerbread / Glassware Recommendation: Snifter / Wine Comparable: Pressac."

Thoughts: Kvasir poured a vivid orange-red with a thick frothy eggshell white head on top. The beer is incredibly clear, and carbonation is abundant.

Smells like a spiced, alcoholic fruit punch. There's a lot of cranberry all over this, and tons of honey as well. The birch and herbs are what really make this one rather intriguing. It's really sweet smelling, and the spices make it as if it's some exotic herbal candy. I actually really like it.

The first sip of this gives off such a light cranberry juice quality that's it's hard to believe that this is a 10% beer. Then suddenly a rush of bewildering booze flows in that is just strong enough to for you to say "oh there it is" and yet not too strong as to turn you off. This beer is very herbal, very spiced and luckily, not overbearing in the sweetness department. It's not an easy one to describe, since the herbs they used here I had to look up and that birch syrup is masking them a bit. The herbs still come through strong though, but pinpointing just exactly how they taste is proving to be rather difficult. Nonetheless, those two aspects of the beer itself blend together quite nicely. I used to drink birch beer all the time after I first tried it a couple of years back, I never thought that it would go this well with cranberry, but it does, and that's a good thing since this one reeks of cranberry though and through.

I like this beer, though it may be a bit too sweet for me. It doesn't exactly taste anything like a beer though, more like a mead mixed with juice, though that's not a problem for me. I like juice, mead and beer so whatever. Mouth feel is a bit frothy. It's got a soft tartness that you only start to notice as the beer warms towards the second half of the bottle. The bitterness isn't exactly anything I would describe as more than noticeable, as it itself drowns in herbs. You may get a slight puckering affect, but overall it's really fucking sweet and juice-like. If you can get this for 10$ or under I say go for it. I've seen some places trying to sell it for 12-14$ and in my book that's no good. I enjoyed this beer, but it's a bit too sweet for me and while really layered, not complex enough to cut through the sweetness that's represented here.

Dogfish Head BIRRA ETRUSCA Bronze (2012) 
Occasional Rarity (Limited Release).
25.4 fl. oz. / $10.59 USD / 8.5% ABV

About: "To develop the recipe for Birra Etrusca Bronze, Dogfish Head's Sam Calagione traveled to Rome with molecular archaeologist Dr. Pat McGovern. With the help of Birreria Brother Brewers Leo DeVencenzo of Birra del Borgo and Teo Musso of Baladin, they analyzed drinking vessels found in 2,800-year-old Etruscan tombs. The backbone of Birra Etrusca comes from two-row malted barley and an heirloom Italian wheat. Specialty ingredients include hazelnut flour, pomegranates, Italian chestnut honey, Delaware wildflower honey and clover honey. A handful of whole-flower hops are added, but the bulk of the bitterness comes from gentian root and the sarsaparilla-like Ethiopian myrrh resin.

Food Pairing Recommendations: Spiced pickles, marinated olives, hearty beer bolognaise / Wine Comparable: Malbec."

Thoughts: Wow. The head on this thing dissipated fast as fuck. I poured it, went for the camera, and it was just fucking full and then gone. Color is a dirty orange, and slightly cloudy. I see a fair abundance of carbonation rising despite what just happened. And then there's that cyclopean bubble gleaming freakishly in the light.

This smells sweet and just a little bit herbal. It's like a wine actually. Grapes are evident here. Actually, it rather reminds me of a mead once again. I've only had a few of those so far but this one really fits that description.

Well, this is some crazy tasting shit right here now innit? It's extremely herbal tasting, fully. It hits hard and instantly before swirling in a circular motion inside the mouth. Damn that sounds dirty. This beer tastes kinda dirty actually... it's malty, sweet and tart. There's a good blend of sweet and tart here and it's really balanced well. It's a pretty strong beer. There's a thick amount of haze that really lays in and spreads throughout the face. There's honey dripping all over my mouth. Spicy honey. Nicely done DFH.

The feel is a little drying, as if it's almost astringent like. That's fitting.  I like this beer a lot. It's out of its fucking mind, and that's a beautiful thing. Dogfish always intrigue me with their ancient ales, and I hope they keep searching for more to do. Trying all of them in a back to back tasting would be absolutely incredible now that I think about it. Someone better get on that, or I may just have to do it myself.

July 21, 2014

Horrific.


Better watch out motherfucker when I'm speaking in tongues
Coughing up split pea soup from the bottom of my lungs
You don't know me yet but just call me the Sexorcist
Crack a bottle of Viper because tonight I'm gettin' extra pissed
I need that neon green shot so I can feel Re-animated
When I said I come From Beyond that shit wasn't exaggerated
Like a force of nature stalking through the woods
Chopping up young sluts while they're givin' up the goods
But don't let my words fool ya I still like slaughtering virgins
And if she ain't that tight I'll stitch that shit up like a surgeon
Just call me Dr. Giggles when I'm laughing all fiendish
Off that Blue Sunshine mixed in with Olde English
Fucking batshit crazy and that's From Dusk Till Dawn
I slap a bladed glove on when I see a bitch yawn
And it may be Friday the 14th but I don't give a fuck
I'm out with a machete and spear-gun running amok
On the Terror Train stalking wearing multiple masks
Getting utterly fucked up drinking eight different flasks
You can Scream all you want but this ain't no Scary Movie
Your ass is dead in the dirt even without seeing boobies
There's no rules to this shit I don't need a motive to kill
I'll wear your pretty skin on my face just cuz I like the feel
So watch out for this Resident because I'm Evil as hell
I'll keep your body in the cellar just to enjoy the smell
Inducing those Frightmares when I pull out my Tingler
Now I got this sweet girl squirtin' red like a sprinkler

-E

June 9, 2014

Fallen Angel.


I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you forever.


I'll be there for you through it all. Even if saving you sends me to hell heaven.
-Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

June 8, 2014

Conversation.


How in the hell did we ever let this happen? *sigh* Ha. Why do I even say we? I did my part. I was competent. I was engorged. I was pulsating and filled to the fucking brim with a blood rage. Hell, I was strong when you were weak. I was hard when you were soft. I was established when you were off wandering the motherfucking cosmos!" ... HEY!!1 Are you listening to me Fuckface!? Bitch all to hell, I am angry as fuck right now more than you can ever imagine, because you never ever listen! Just take a look at yourself. Stand back and look in that shattered reflection of yours in the broken glass there. See what you have become!? When you finally come to your senses, or to me rather, you’ll wonder why you didn't follow the truth in the first place. So, you feel like talking yet?

You never let it go this far before. Why now? What’s next, huh, domesticated? You going to start wearing white socks and striped shirts? Why not stop wearing socks altogether and go with sandals? How about you take it a step further and start pissing while sitting down!? I’m really disgusted right now man, and you know what else, I’m also starting to get really pissed off! ... You may not have noticed, but as you’re strolling hand and hand with that pretty girl you got there, there are a lot of potential sexual victims walking by and giving you of all people the 'come kill me' look! They're just begging to be terrorized... invaded... wrecked... utterly and endlessly destroyed. You, motherfucker, are missing out and making me suffer because of it! Come on, let’s do some damage. When are you going to turn this all around and finally impress me for once in our miserable lives?

Yeah, yeah… you love her. *pukes* I get it. Keep telling yourself that. Just keep denying who the hell you are. And while you do that, try to forget just who the hell I am. In case you don’t know, I am you as you are me as we are all in this bullshit together! See how you slouch sitting down on the couch see how you… Ok. Not that Beatles shit again. You, my friend, need to come up with some new material. It’s no wonder that I don’t ever listen to what you have to say anymore. Between the Magical Mystery Tour and Strange Days I don’t know where you begin or what! Now you have something to say? It’s so easy with you, you know that. Just lay down some distorted lyrical deception and that’s all it takes. See, I know you. Because I am you. Which brings me, to my next question: When are we going to finally kill some of the goddamn whores!?

Whores? Take a look around and tell me what you see. On the left, a whore. On the right, another. And on your arm Now we should just watch our fuckin' mouths there shouldn't we? You don't, nor could you ever have any clue, as to what I’m feeling now. You may have thought that it was just something of an experiment, but it’s more than that... you dumb son of a fuck! How in the hell could you deceive yourself like that? Look at her!! Yeah, so she’s cute. And when she cums, she makes the sweetest faces we've ever seen. And when she walks, she shakes her fat little ass like no other. And when she touches us… when she kisses us… When we fuck her? Fuck her? I never have. I’ve only made love to this sweet princess. Liar! Now why would I lie to you?

Who knows why anymore! To piss me off? You’re probably trying to make me crazy. Playing games. I know enough about all this to not even deal with you anymore, so why don’t you just give up. Sorry but I still believe in you… in us! What do you believe? Well, for one... hey you remember that last girl? Yeah. I remember her. She was so pretty. Do you believe that she was the last? She was. She is. I’m happy now with this one. Let’s just try it for a while and see what happens. You never know... Oh, I know. YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW! Okay, okay… let’s just calm the fuck down shall we.

In case you haven’t noticed you’re squeezing this girl's hand with enough pressure to bust both of our heads in half. Shit. Apologize. No way. Come on pussy, let’s buy her something. You know you want to. Fuck You. Perfume? A new jacket? A Vibrator, perhaps? You know as much as I do that those things are too much for her. So we say, so we say. So she says. And so we listen. Why not? Perhaps you should try to listen to her once in a while and see. See what? That you can be okay without a vibrator up your ass too! Oh shit. I forgot how much of a witty bastard you were. You forget a lot of things actually. You want to go to war and see how much in control I really am? Not really. Ah. Because you see… it’s not like that anymore. This isn’t about control.

No, it’s about love. What has your brain gone? Let’s worry about it some shall we? Love is nothing but control that's become segregated. You have been duped into the ultimate submission. There is no escape for you now, and as much as I try each hour of every day it seems as if there is no way to reverse this problematic situation. Don’t you understand, or can you not realize that this is my problem to deal with now? Nobody can help me, not with shallow words, not with anything. Like I've said again and again, there is no temporary solution, permanence is the key. I’m the one that needs to come to work with this and find my own way to cope with how things have turned out. You know who you sound like right now? Maybe I've been watching too many of those infomercials at three in the morning.

Yeah, but who knows, with all the shit you've been talking lately, perhaps some of that turbo colon cleanser would do you a bit of good. No thanks. I’d much rather just stick to that groovy Flower Power CD collection that has been showing up at the door every three weeks anyways. You know I just can’t get enough of the Mamas and the Papas. I’m telling you man, compilations are where it's at. And not just concerning an array of different bands brought together for a mesmerizing listening experience, no, but when it comes to a single band itself also. Take for instance, Essential Rarities from The Doors. Can you honestly tell me that there is a more perfect disc out there? Hell, Who Scared You is running through my head as we speak. I love that song. Wow, and all this time I thought you weren't capable of feeling. Alright, now that we see eye to eye once again... are you on knife duty or ropes this time around?

June 4, 2014

Ripper.


Deep in night and drowned in dark
The lonesome devil doth embark
Through crowded isles endless miles
Unsavory whores whom he defiles
In many manners to and fro
He brings about their fearful glow
Their pretty faces sliced to bits
Could never find the one that fits.

-E

Graveyard: Freezing.


"Was everything we had just a joke? I've ran out of patience, tears and hope.
Love does not conquer all. And I'm screaming, screaming because of you.


In the shadow of the light from a black sun. Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb.
Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection? I'm freezing." - Type-O-Negative

Graveyard.


"I'm hungry. Weary. But I cannot, lay me down. The rain comes. Dreary. But there's no shelter, I have found.
It will be a long time till I find my abode. Here I am, on man's road... walkin' man's road." - America


These are some of my photographs from my home. And by home, I mean the Cemetery.
Which is where I don't live, obviously, because I'm fucking dead.

June 1, 2014

Psychoactive Euphoria.


She was off in her own world, sitting there on my bed as always. Saying things, but I wasn’t listening. She was mostly talking to herself and making strange noises. Both of us were high as fuck, and I was drinking Sutter Home Cabernet Sauvignon out of the 1.5 liter sized bottle. I was at my opened floor-ground window, staring at the trees outside. I could see each leaf sway as the wind blew, and as things became more in depth, they formed groups: bunches, crowds of leaf, each tree with twenty or more. Each of them moved in their own direction and then backwards again, as I sat witness. I still see these things, and beyond these things. Things that are not meant to be seen. I sat next to her and drank some more wine.

I was looking to my left, away from her for a moment. As each loud beat from the White Zombie remix album Supersexy Swingin' Sounds pounded, I could see shock waves throughout the atmosphere. Space. Simply space between my mind and the walls moved in pulsating fashion. Everything seemed to be drowning in wave, everything, but her. She looked more beautiful than I had ever seen her. As I continued my stare, I feel deep into this girl. Her eyelashes fluttered six times with each blink. I could count them as they were so fast, and yet, so slow. I touched her flowing black hair and each strand seemed to move on its own, wrapping around my fingers. Her lips moved in erratic manners, the black lipstick on her resembling a bat's movements throughout the sky.

Her face seemed to bounce around at every glance. Not that I took more than two or three looks, for my glances lasted so long. I never wished to blink or take my eyes away. The room was already dim, as it usually was. I plugged in the psychedelic Halloween lights for us to enjoy; blinking orange jack-o-lanterns and flashing white skeletons. I changed the music to Type O Negative's most romantic album October Rust and lit a few black candles. She stood in front of me, like she usually did, completely nude. Her body, the most tempting I had ever seen. There was nobody else who brought forth such desire in me. She sat on my thick hard dick, and seemed to slide around uncontrollably. As she did, I looked into her eyes and smiled for the first time that day. My Princess. She was always so wet. It never mattered when or where, this girl's thighs were forever glistening.

She had the sweetest of scents, and grandest of touch. I slipped inside, and much like my mind in the music I too drowned inside of her. Vibrations were all around me, colorful, and she was as the softest silk unknown. So tight, and yet, not a bit of friction within this gripping wet flesh. See seemed to be floating above me. It was as if she was hardly touching her lap to mine at all. I held her beautiful pale tits in my hands as she bounced upon me, and it was in this moment I felt complete mystic exaltation. She was somewhere, and so was I, but in body we were one. We stayed that way for what seemed like hours, her on top of me and I inside of her. Neither of us reaching the point of climax, and I know that I couldn't have done so even if I converged my every thought towards it. The drugs simply wouldn't allow this wondrous experience to end.

May 30, 2014

Destiny.

"Do you believe in destiny?"
She looked upwards.

If the world ended time stood still and we were left just you and I
Would you run into my arms place your head upon my chest
Let me smell your hair and touch you there?
These are the things I desire:
Ceasing motion of all that is living, growing, and each which takes never giving
All swept aside!
The twilight never fades nor the setting of the sun becomes,
 A lonesome loathsome devil ravages the angel girl as she hums.
This is you, and this is I.
I need your caress and for you to have mine. 
I wish to be alone with you and you can come as well,
To delve into divine impurities of which the both of us shall dwell. 
To drink your blood and eat your flesh, 
Spread wide open unleash this bloody mess.
 I've never wanted anything, more than I've envisioned this!

Girl said nothing.
Not with mouth.

Let's travel we to faraway places where all things dissolve
And nothing leaves traces. Not a thing existing,
But the single moment then and when that is through, the next.
Indescribable future, without past and what comes after
Reflecting not upon any former thought or action,
But always on uncertain possibility.
I wish to simply make you, and with you,
To have everything that becomes from us fade into the never been.
A single everlasting pleasure of what could be.
Do not be afraid here my love simply take my hand,
I'll lead you through this garden slumber full of fruitful mystic wonders.
Have a bite. Let's reverse time and sink into this blackness dark,
A stark nothingness that is this journey we embark
We shall, we must!
I say it to be so, and what I say I shall realize.
You're going where I always have and been
To indulge yourself in cherished sin.
This is my calling. So it is yours now,
There is no denying the grace you feel falling.
Accept this fate of yours
And press your body upon mine for all time.

                                                                                           Mmmmmm…
                                                                                                           Girl accepts.

Temporary Sanity.


There's a disease in my mind causing me severe mental anguish
Tryin' to explain it to ya it's like I'm speaking a foreign language
This life that I know is filled with self inflicted abuse
As I live in the bottle each day I tighten the noose
I got sharp knives hidden all over my bedroom and shit
A bottle of Goldschläger down my pants so that I can stay lit
And I've been known to throw fits after just a few hits
Watch as my head splits and all my fucking goo drips
So if time permits I'll go out and dip my stick
See I got that rapist wit and when I come with it
Find me a sexy bitch and squeeze her perky tits
Got eyes like slits when I go out stalking
Off that liquid support here's a dead man walking
And there ain't no stopping when I fuckin' quit talking
Take a look around see all the bodies dropping
If I don't wake up dead then you'll wake up screaming
Pesadillas nightmares that bad mojo dreaming
And I'm comin' to ya undead streamin', got a thick dick fulla semen
See your eyes gleamin', but I ain't no he-man
So don't get your hopes up... but uh yeah, it's time for your close-up
Motherfuckers call it a facial, and you know I like it interracial
Though we both got white skin I can make an exception
For it ain't nothing more than some deceptive perception
I like those white Spanish girls and I can't deny it
Got that lustful desire I can't fucking defy it
And I admit that I'm a bit hung up on this shit
Yeah, I might be a bit crazier than I like to admit
When I see a short blonde chica I fiend for blood!
Watch my black jeans flood just as I hit that bud
Draggin' her through the mud while she grasps for life
 Now I got her mouth open as I stick in my knife

May 19, 2014

Ruination.


I didn't sit down for a time of reflection upon my life. I'm not that type of person. When I look back upon my misdeeds, never do I ponder whether I'm satisfied with the choices I have made. Nor do I ever consider if I'll become regretful for what I've done. The time for regret has ended, dead, and it stopped when this thing inside of me corrupted. Taking shape of horrid monster, foaming at the mouth and tearing bits away. I can still taste her blood. It's on my lips and fingertips. It's inside my head. I can feel it dripping, trickling down every thought of her. I cut my skull open so I could see my brain. Her face is etched there. Perhaps I could trace it with a razor blade and tear her off. That's what I thought, but I thought wrong! I feel the itch and know its scratching, I know it well. She is now forever with me.

I know this torment and I understand its isolation. Everything else has gone away, and I am left here. I am torment. I feast on the blood. Blood is the life. The life that was once hers, truly never was. She knows this now, and I see her despair as I close my eyes. Her soul, her love, and her outcry… it grasps me, and it's never away from me. You’re a dirty girl. Why? She asks me why. YOU FUCKING KNOW WHY! You know because we shared that moment and you know because in our eyes we had become one. You were one with me when I made you. This whole place is filthy now. Rancid. This blood will never wash away. Not that I'd ever try to cleanse your special spot. All the things you left are still here, in the very same places, but I fear they're starting to mold. The ruin has set in, but I don't want you to.

May 18, 2014

Carnivore.


I dream of wolves, both while awake and during sleep. I see their eyes as mine and gaze into myself. I realize now that I am hungry, but I don’t want to give in. I've had the thirst with me ever since I was a child… but now, it has matured and developed into something which I'm not sure I can control. I see prey, in my mind as lamb and helpless, and in the reality which I journey though this is no help to me. For I see prey in them. When I look upon them and into their eyes, I see these things becoming so clear before me and know inside what I thrive to do. Something I know I must do, and that thing is something I know I was born to do.

Never are the dreams the same, but the key figures are always there: The wolf, who I live through. The stalk, which I feel and through by which I understand exhilaration. The power, which tends to the hunger inside of me and offers itself so willingly, to bring to pass the most glorious of feasts. And her, the girl... the nameless, faceless one. She who haunts my dreams. She, the one I lust after and wish for her insides! For that someday soon I may sink inside of her and revel with uproarious delight. A longing, that I will drown in my own bloodthirsty addiction and reach that point in which I have always known could not be cradled.

She always looks the same and I always see the same thing: red. Red is a color I see often, and one which is easily triggered. In my mind, it's the color I notice the most and usually by surprise. Though hundreds of her may pass by there's always one that stands out. And no matter how fast this happens, my eyes will glance the red. It draws me. Often times, I see this world in black, white and grays only. But I always see the red, no matter what. Sometimes I don’t know when I’m dreaming or when I'm not. Being awake and asleep are the same for me now. Because within each realm, I am susceptible to the monster that tells me what I am, and it is constant!

Losing sleep. Things seem to be not as they truly are, and my mind is adrift. I find myself now taking each ever-grasping thought away from its many desires, and as I sit here that focus is shifting unto just one. Is this true to form, or simply a longing which blinds these eyes I see through? I've been here before, in this strange place, just as I have visited dreams time and time again. But my dreams quickly become nightmares, and thrashed headlong into this reality for which I am faced, those nightmares are passed on through soulless, unrelenting bloodshed. Cruel beadsman, in shedding mask: The bleeding eye-holes show only pain as reflected by his lewdness for hire. ‘What have I become?’ I think to myself, as I look into this shattered mirror.

May 16, 2014

Abhorrent Pleasures.


Light moans slowly formed into an array of silent screams, accompanied by a scratchy throat-wrenching gasping for air. This is where I find my solitude. I walk to and fro as my mind distorts beyond the limits of its shape, and I concentrate while in a state of unrest. Did I say unrest? I meant ingest. Incisive wailing! The young girl's cries engulf my forceful lusting of torment and power over. I press my thumb deep into her neck as I slap her twice across the face with front and then back of hand. Breathing convulsively, she pouts while spit drools down her lip. I send the back of her head into the wall, leaving a hole caved in the newly plastered sheetrock. Her eyes shut and lips clench. Little one's face scrunched up... she looks so adorable this way. I lean in and kiss her softly. Jugular wine. This abnormal thirst is nothing less than normal to me, in occurrence at least. 

Haunting vines that climb and dine upon the mind that’s ripe with binding curiosity and self-doubt. All the insecure ones leave me pathways up their courtyards, through their vineyards and into their flowing bittersweet rivers of crimson hue.

I knew a girl once like you, she danced with death through pumpkin gardens and as I watched my scythe it hardened. Blood flow. I wish to reap what you sow. Show me sadness, and a willingness to be taken away from this madness. This torturous life: a harbor for disastrous, emotionally crushing sorrows… I can show you another place it borrows from recesses deep, all the things which bring forth beauty in an agonizing weep. The grapes there only grow when from the sky, bloody tears of a sad and beautifully scarred girl rain down upon the soil. I toil in my garden path long hours to keep this rain and not let whither into raisins of wrath. Sad little girl, cry for me if for but just once I can lick the salty drip from your cheek. Meek darling I hold tight in my uncompromising grip, inherit my death on the tip of your lips and kiss it ardently. Now open wide and let it fill you.

May 14, 2014

Note.


Hopelessness and misery engulfs my very soul
Taking me nowhere at all for there is nowhere to go
Drowning deep inside this blackened void that is my mind
A darkness so immense that there is no light to find
Vast explorations of thoughtless nothingness
The gleaming razor blade dips inside my bleeding flesh
This writhing pain is now the only truth in which I know
The woeful blissfulness of watching my blood as it flows
Empty and devoid of life my body rots away
The putrid stench that permeates from time's gentle decay
My soiled bed sheets caked with blood spilling onto the floor
My spirit now is finally free from that beautiful whore.

May 4, 2014

Bed springs.


Long black hair with red dyed roots, and always naked, she pranced around. I lustfully chased her down the hallway, and she played afraid for me. This one always knew how to turn me on. “No! Don’t get me.” she cried out as she ran into a corner of the next room. I pinned her against the wall and with a mischievous grin, began to touch things. Her tits, large pale double d's, with beautiful nipples and perfect in every way; and her body, a short 4' 10" and the slightest bit thick. I twirled my tongue around her mountainous red peaks as I slid my middle and index finger up inside her glistening hole. Wet, dripping and flowing, just as she always was! This succulent princess, my desire for her knew no bounds. I wanted to know her in life and death, in love and agony, in pleasure and pain. My right hand, now completely soaked, exploring her beautiful insides. I sucked the juices off of my fingers and then slid them back inside of her again. I held her tight as we stood there together, my thumb pointing upward towards her little round belly. This was always my favorite place to be, and I constantly held her there. It was like our own special version of holding hands. Trve love. She then laid down on my filthy bed.

We had been experimenting with LSD that night, both of us dropping multiple tabs. I sat on the edge of the bed and began caressing her with one of my many knives. I had taken it out after kissing her body, because I wanted to play with something else I found to be interesting. I touched it flat onto her lower belly, and she squirmed a bit. The steel was cold, I was sure of that. I could have warmed it up. I thought about it, but instead I played nice. I gently ran the sharp edge up her supple body and across her left cheek. I was so excitable back then that I didn't know what I could, or what I eventually would do. But there were shreds of this being which I have become, in me then. I held the knife high above my head and slammed it down beside her face. Through the mattress I heard the blade scrape against the coiled bed springs. Like a quick, dull scratch across a chalkboard with sort of a thumping pop sound. She didn't move at all. She didn't even flinch, but rather simply stared at me. Unblinking, and into my eyes she gazed. I could read all of her thoughts at that very moment despite her blank expression and unemotional reaction. She was terrified, yet horribly excited.

April 30, 2014

The Stranger.


Feel the danger deep in your spine, as the stranger creeps up from behind
Snowblind with maniacal fury, visions blurry, speech is slurry and what's worse
Stranger's in no hurry, to hack and slash and get you buried with not a worry
And the Stranger don't wanna rush things, just wanna touch things
Bite down with bloody fangs and get his fingers bloody when he bangs
Licking off that sloppy clotted juice and there's no way he'd cut her loose
Stranger's obsessed and wants to make a mess all over your sexy chest
So go ahead and feel blessed, after all he chose you over all the rest

But we digress...

See I detested silence so much and now it's time to confess my LUST
As I spray over your sweet bust, now turn your cryin' ass around and show me that booty
I got a knife right here for you little cutie, and I wanna plunge it deep inside ya'
See I always felt that rage whenever I got behind ya'
All those times I watched you walk away, watched your ass sway
Got that fiendish desire to slay and if I may I'd like to play
A game where I carve your name into my flesh and for you I'll do the same
See the stranger loves too much and I guess that's what's to blame

The first time I saw you my heart stopped and I came, and now it's a shame I guess
That those firm titties and that sweet bouncy ass will be laid to rest :(
Of all the loves I've known yours truly was the best, outta my collection and to my recollection
You were the prettiest too and I'll also mention, I was hesitant at first but just like an infection
I was hit with an injection, of pure unadulterated lust, there was no way I could stop it, I just
Had to open you up one more time, it was a must...

Come here babygirl it's time to get nasty and rough, you may have played tough
To get and flirted a bit like there'd be no consequence, but what's this?
A bit of ignorance on your part, but I really took that whole "being a stranger" thing to heart
And this is as real as it gets, so don't try to cry or get mad or throw fits
Because it ain't working, but scream all you want to, that really gets me jerking
Off and to the next sickening idea of nightmarish afflictions
Your pain is my own personal drug, and it's feeding my addiction

Now as I run my bloody fingers through your long black hair
I dip my fingers in your wounds to show you that I care
And as you gaze back at me with that blank stare
I knew all along that we'd make a good pair
So I guess that it's fair, to say that I'm a stranger no more
Now that I've been inside and have had time to explore
Your sweet body as you lie naked on the floor
But I can't stop now, I'm addicted I need more!

- © Erik (D[runk]ethWiz{n}rd) (2011)

April 10, 2014

Ommegang Game of Thrones FIRE AND BLOOD

Ommegang Game of Thrones FIRE AND BLOOD Red Ale (2014)
Limited Release.
25.4 fl. oz. (x3) / $25.47 USD  / 6.8% ABV

About: "Ommegang and HBO announce the newest beer in the Game of Thrones collaboration series. Through its first three seasons, the critically acclaimed drama has become the biggest show on HBO. Named after the motto of House Targaryen, Fire and Blood is inspired by Daenerys Targaryen and her three dragons, Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion. To celebrate the rebirth of dragons, three different labels were created by the Game of Thrones visual effects specialists, each depicting one of Daenerys' feared dragons. Randomly distributed amongst the cases, each case will contain all three bottles.  Malt: Pilsner, Cara-60, Midnight Wheat, flaked rye and spelt / Hops: CTZ, Styrian Golding, German Tettnang / Spices: Ancho Chilies. Pair with pastrami, jerk chicken, pulled pork, Mexican cuisine (such as burritos), and sharp cheddar and pepper jack cheeses."

Thoughts: Just a quick note: the poured brew photo was from the last bottle I drank and the review was from the first so the visual description is a bit different. I took photos of all three pours but will probably only just post the fire breather for now.

Uncaged this fucker, took a firm grip and twisted that cork out, giving way to a lot of emerging silver smoke. Nice! Took a whiff from the bottle: very Belgian.

There's a ton of carbonation in this. A TON! My cup is half head. It's a deep red with shades of auburn and burnt orange. Aside from the semi-darkness and the black bubbles rising up at an alarming rate, the beer is actually pretty clear and see-through from a close enough point.

Strong Belgain yeast in the scent. Very herbal and floral. Am I getting ancho chilis in the scent, that is the question!? Perhaps. There's an essence of that chili here, a boiled down oily version of what once was. It is imparted into the beer, which is good. This makes for a totally insane smelling mixture here. It's quite profound. I would have probably disliked the smell of this beer years ago, now I ache for it.

First gulp and man, this is one strange beer. I bought three bottles and probably will buy a forth anyways, but it's definitely unique. The rye that kicks in is what probably got me. I just picked up the bottle and read the side of it, and there it is: rye. Damn there's some solid rye up in this son of a bitch let me tell you! This beer is all over the place actually. Starts off sweet and yeasty, then that rye builds up and kicks your fuckin' ass, then as it slowly - and The Rock MEANS SLOOOOOOWWWLLLYYY!!! - fades, a bit of bouncing dark fruits kick in and a medicinal nuttiness. It's a pretty fucking weird beer and kind of reminds me of a DFH ancient ale. I was hoping it would be spicy, but alas, it is not. It's got a very peppery spiciness to it and the essence of those peppers, but spicy hot, it is f'n not. Too bad. I wanted this shit to burn like fire and make my insides bleed.

I haven't been particularly impressed by any of the Game of Thrones beers, but you know what? I keep on fuckin' buying em man. They put three different labels out with three different dragons and I grabbed all three like a fiend. A fiend I tell you!!!1

Final thought: Could use a bit more fire and brimstone.

April 9, 2014

Moar KBS!


As you may or may not know since nobody gives a fuck, I just signed up on one of them twitters a few days ago. Why in the shit would I do that you ask? Purely stalking reasons, I assure you. ;) Also, you know, for things I feel like talking about sometimes but don't really want to litter the blog with. Stupid shit. Well, stupider shit than normal. For instance I won a bottle of 2014 KBS last Tuesday and thought that was pretty neat. That's a funny word, "neat". I had already reviewed the beer last year and would have put it on the blog, but wanted to see what a feed looked like on the left side so there it is.


Then I managed to snag these six bottles here on top of that, sooooooo...

April 3, 2014

Ommegang Game of Thrones Take the Black Stout

Ommegang Game of Thrones Take the Black Stout - Ale brewed with Star Anise and Licorice Root (2013)
Limited Release (Brewed Once).
25.4 fl. oz. / $8.99 USD / 7% ABV

About: "Ommegang and HBO announce the newest beer in the Game of Thrones collaboration series. Through its first three seasons, the critically acclaimed drama has become the biggest show on HBO. Take the Black Stout follows the highly coveted Iron Throne Blonde Ale, which flew off of shelves earlier this year. Inspired by the brotherhood of the Night’s Watch, Take the Black Stout was made to be deep, dark and complex like those who have sworn the oath to defend Westeros against threats from the north. The label depicts the Weirwood tree where Jon Snow recited the oath before joining the Night’s Watch."

Thoughts: TtBS poured a pitch black hue with a really bright tan head. Interesting.

Smells kinda fruity at first. Belgian yeast and bananas. I'm not really getting the usual coffee or chocolate, which is a nice change. Instead, that thick yeast melds with a soft yet pungent booze sting and huge aromas of black licorice and star anise come through. It's sweet, prickly, a little dank and very inviting.

Let's burn rubber! *GULP* This one's got a fair bit of char on it. Starts off with a sting, a soft bitterness rolls in, a touch of grass, some dirty cake, and a lingering soft malt characteristic all set to the tone of Belgian yeast and overly apparent booze. It's a really gentle type of roasted brew. The coffee and chocolate tones are super subtle and hardly even noticeable. The char is ever present, and there's a pretty strong haze as well, especially for a 7%.

It's a bit of a mess actually. After a while it gets to be like a few extinguished cigs... only with a really sweet and out of place taste to it. This beer is pretty weak for the most part, but on top of that it's really just not that good. It's a bit harsh, raw, and somewhat unpleasant. Mouth is a medium and a little slick. It tastes like stale burnt coffee after sitting at room temp and there's a sour aftertaste when it's all done with. While I love the idea of this beer and the previous GoT beer, they both didn't really please me in any way. Hopefully the next one will set that whole thought ablaze...

March 30, 2014

Saoirse Ronan sucks a Lollipop in Violet and Daisy (2011)


There were a lot of things I liked about the film Violet & Daisy. And one thing I loved about it.
I decided this one would do as a moving gif, so I lined up the screenshots and here it is. Enjoy.


Allagash Curieux, TiarnA and Midnight Brett

Allagash Curieux - Ale aged in oak bourbon barrels (2013)
Brewed and Bottled by Allagash Brewing Co., in Portland, Maine. USA.
Year Round Brew.
25.4 fl. oz. / $16.99 USD (w/ Free Company Glass) / 11% ABV

About: "Allagash Curieux was our first foray into barrel aging. Curieux is made by aging our Tripel Ale in Jim Beam bourbon barrels for eight weeks in our cold cellars. The aged beer is then blended back with a portion of fresh Tripel. The resulting beer is soft with coconut and vanilla notes, with hints of bourbon."

Thoughts: Cork popped out like Nothin'! My second Allagash brew. I once had a 12 oz bottle of their Black. Looking at this bottle I wonder what kind of Ale this is. Is it one of their other ales that they've barrel aged? It doesn't really say on the label. It doesn't say much of anything on the label other than when, how many and how heavy.

One thing I didn't expect at all was for this beer to pour a really cloudy lime green yellow. Hold on, let me hit the lights. Curieux poured a really hazy soft yellow color with shades of orange and apricot. Carbonation is rampant and there's a huge marshmallow fluff head because of it.

The scent is really light. Especially for an 11% beer. I'm getting very soft notes of dried banana chips. Belgian yeast, vanilla and oak. It smells very crisp. It's not all too deep in character, but it smells good.

Taste is mild orange peel, citrus, yeast, soft pepper, rain, margarita salt and angel tears. Don't got much experience with Belgian Tripels, but this tastes great to me. Very peppery in the finish and those pepper flakes bounce around and pop. It's smooth and pleasurable. It's just not all that interesting. It's got a lot of thing I like such as peppery tones and spice though. It's a bit hazy feeling, but really soothing overall.

Allagash TiarnA - ale aged in oak barels (2013)
Limited Edition Brew.
12.7 fl. oz. / 14.99 USD / 7.1% ABV

About: "Tiarna is a blend of two beers, one aged in oak and fermented with 100% brettanomyces and the other fermented in stainless with a blend of two Belgian yeast strains. Both beers were brewed with a combination of 2 row and wheat malt in addition to specialty grains. It was hopped with Hallertau, Styrian Goldings and Cascade hops. The finished beer is dark golden in color with citrus, pineapple and bread in the aroma. The flavor of this tart beer has notes of grapefruit, lemon, and bread crust, and a long, dry finish."

Thoughts: Popped the cork like a willing cherry and a little smoke came pouring out. Sniffed it of course. Smells a little sour, a little fruity. Started the pour and it all came out bubbles. Stopped. It's lighter than I expected, but then again, I know nothing at all about this beer as I write these words. The whipped topping head on this thing just keeps... fucking... growing! Contents under pressure is right. The carbonation on this thing is off the fucking charts. It's like the Stuff from that old horror movie, the uh... Stuff.

TiarnA poured a very light cloudy yellow with so much carbonation that the head grew and ended up expanding out of the top of the glass and nearly fell down. It was so Stay-Puffed however that it just swayed in the wind of my table fan. Crazy shit. There must be a thousand million bubbles rising up in this beer.

Smelling it both at the head and the bottle and really the head isn't holding much of the scent back. It's bright, vibrant, fruity, and wild. This beer smells sour as fuck, dude. It took about five minutes for the head to die down near something acceptable to drink. Oh, and I poured it soft. So soft.

First gulp and it sure is wild. A little smokey, but not how you'd expect smokey to seem. It's more like stale cigarette smoke. Not terribly unpleasant though, so don't get me wrong. It's sour and pleasing to the tongue. It tastes good. It's not all that sour, which is a bit too bad... but it's got a flavorful and fun profile. The oak barrel aging is very light here. It's woody or woodsy or whatever you call it, but there's not much flavor of whatever barrel it was that's imparted in it. I don't know what these barrels were used to age, but if anything it's some sort of wine.

It's soft, fizzy, a little earthy, slightly tart, a little sweet, very low bitterness, and is overall enjoyable. Mouthfeel is a light to medium with a lot of carbonation. This tastes really good, but I wonder what justifies the price. How it was made most likely.

Allagash Midnight Brett Ale (2013)
Limited Edition Brew.
12.7 fl. oz. / 13.39 USD / 7.3% ABV

About: "Midnight Brett is chocolate brown in color, brewed with 2-Row, Midnight wheat, raw wheat and rye malt. It was hopped with a blend of Perle, Glacier and Simcoe hops. The beer was fermented with our house strain of Brettanomyces in stainless tanks. The finished beer has the aroma and flavor of fresh berries, sour cherries and a slight roasted character. The finish is pleasantly tart and fruity making this beer very drinkable."

Thoughts: I was down at the old watering hole when I saw an Allagash truck leaving the liquor store. I was headed in that direction anyhow, but consider me intrigued so I browsed the isle only to find a single bottle of this that wasn't there before. Strange that there would only be one, but I immediately grabbed it despite it being a bit expensive (but then again aren't all Allagash products?) and here we go. Oh cool, I just looked at the side of the label and this was bottled on my birthday. Nice.

Unlocked the cage and slid out the cork smooth and easy with a loud pop and a ton of smoke emerging. Midnight Brett poured somewhat true to its name with a solid dense raspberry brown, but a near black nonetheless. The frosty beige head was thick and lasted forever.

This smells pretty sour. I'm sure in for a treat aren't I? The malt profiles are bouncing all over the place. It's a funky one that's for sure, with that grimy raw wheat and rye battling it out on a pummeled floor of pale. Swirling the glass I get a hint of underlying sweetness, one of cherries, plums and figs... but once it settles that sour house yeast floods the nose. There are other odd notes in there, like cocoa, damp driftwood, and booze.

First sip and well, that's not all that sour at all. Everything was rather calm in fact. It tastes like berries, the middle is a very gentle haze with a hint of tartness, and it all rides out with a roasted nutty like quality. The wild yeast is the main flavor aside from the soft sweetness, and it hangs around long after the swallow. Nothing harsh about this one though. This is some really tame stuff. Tasty, and a little funky, but really really tame.

Mouthfeel is pretty standard for an ale, if a little light. It's clean and leaves a smooth texture in the mouth. This one is OK, but nothing great. I guess if you're into subtleties and all that you might like it a little more than I do, but I would have preferred it to be more up front and powerful.

March 29, 2014

Lucy Lawless goes Braless in Spartacus: Blood and Sand (2010)


I just couldn't resist that title. ;) So today is Lucy's 46'th birthday, and buy gawd, 46 has never looked so incredibly fucking hot may I just politely say! Though I never really watched much Xena, at least never a full episode of the show, I had always been aware of Lucy Lawless and the sexual attraction I felt for her during my later teenage years. The Xena character never really "did it for me", but the actress herself had gained much attention for the role and seeing her in interviews and in the media I found her to be incredibly edibly... uhh, edible. She's definitely gotten hotter with age. Though she most surely bathes in milk baths, I'm certain that the blood of several virgins have somehow been integrated in there as well in order to keep her youthful appearance. And I'm not talkin' bout the blood of those X-Files watching Nerdgins (virgin nerds) who've offered themselves as sacrifice either.


In the "Spartacus" television series from Starz, Lucy plays a malicious, sadistic and totally cock hungry bitch named Lucretia who tortures every man and woman around her whom she deems lower than she. They are her toys, her slaves and more importantly, her sexual servants! Hot damn I'm getting wet just thinking about it. Here she speaks to her chocolate skinned clit-rubber (that's the job description I'm pretty sure) about the cock of Crixus, one she's been constantly ravishing for some time. Though her servant Naevia and Crixus are secretly in love, she must hold her tongue and listen. Well, until her tongue is required and demanded to come into play that is.


What fate does the sweet vag of Mira (Katrina Law) bestow upon one lucky enough to... hey wait a minute. This chick's last name is Law?! That's some freakish...ly hot stuff right there. The Lawless, ordering the Law what to do. I like that. And in this case, ordering her to go Fuck! And she better fuck good, oh yes, because if she doesn't there will be a hellfire burning redder than the wig on her Reina's head! Shit, I'm surprised that her eyes aren't glowing red in that below screenshot there. She's most surely got something sinister tucked up her sleeve. And since she's completely nude I think you know what I mean when I say "sleeve".


 Whatever Lucretia's plotting, by the look on her face, it must be deliciously Evil! 

Happy birthday Lucy. And happy birthday to those big sexy nipples of yours.

March 20, 2014

Spencer Trappist Ale

Spencer Trappist Ale (2014)
Brewed by the Monks of Saint Joseph's Abbey in Spencer, MA. USA.
Year Round Brew.
11.2 fl. oz. / $4.79 USD / 6.5% ABV

About: "America's First Trappist Beer.

Our recipe was inspired by the traditional refectory ales known as patersbier (“fathers’ beer” in Flemish) in Belgium. These sessionable beers are brewed by the monks for their dinner table and are typically only available at the monastery. Only Four Ingredients; All of the Highest Quality: Water: Something about the Ice Age which I'm not going to repeat. / Hops: We use a mixture of hops, all of which are grown in Washington state’s Yakima Valley. Willamette and Nugget varieties are among our favorites / Barley: A proprietary blend of 2 row and 6 row malted barley varieties carefully selected to meet physical and nutritional requirements for optimal brewing of our Trappist ale. A caramel Munich specialty malt from Wisconsin adds color and body to our ale. Yeast: The key to Spencer’s unique aroma, and the ingredient most responsible for the maturation of its “golden center”, is the family yeast variety that we propagate at the monastery. This live yeast is left in the brew - unfiltered, unpasteurized, all natural."

Thoughts: Spencer Trappist Ale poured a dark lemony yellow color with shades of amber orange and a thick stark white head full of soft snow-like froth. I hold the beer up to the light of this white preview screen and am in awe by the impressively massive amount of sediment flakes swirling in a blizzard whirlwind of rising carbonation. There's a storm inside of this brew, and it is absolutely intense! This has to be the craziest looking beer I've ever seen, without a doubt. Just when I think I've seen it all too. That head is going nowhere, fast.

The smell on this one is pleasurable. It's very bright and citrusy, with a smooth flowing Belgian yeast running throughout the entire scent that stays side by side at all times with the stunning freshness. It's very vibrant smelling, as I'm finding I don't have to even lean in at all to have it hit me. 

First sip: Well, this beer is soft as a pillow. It pretty much turns to light-as-air foam in the mouth and fizzles away during the swallow. Interesting. So, so soft.

It's got a mild peppery flavor to it, and while the yeast plays a huge part on the overall taste, it's still pretty mellow. Despite that it's quite flavorful. It doesn't taste weak or anything like that, just not too heavy on the taste buds as the smell would suggest. It's smooth and crisp, zesty and a little floral. Getting close to finishing the glass and it's starting to get a little tart due to all the yeast flakes that are rolling around my tongue. Final gulp: Like I said this one is really bright, and really soft.

The aftertaste gets pretty bland. Not bad tasting, but just a tad bit cardboard like when it's all over. Spencer is a quality ale, there's no denying that, but for $18 a 4-pack there's no way I'd go fully go in on one of these.

My words are my own and as of posted from their creation forward I hereby claim originality to them. Pictures may prove to be promotional items and are the sole possessions of their respectful owners and/or companies. I do not sell, nor do I buy. I only rent, so therefore, nothing I own is truly mine.