July 7, 2013

Olivia Munn cockteases in The Babymakers (2012)

If you're thinking about renting The Babymakers starring Olivia Munn and Some Dude, directed by some guy who's movies I've never cared to watch more than five minutes of, then let me save you the trouble: It's not funny, and most of it sucks. Your time is better spent watching Russian dash-cam crash footage on youtube, or masturbating to coryscrappycinema's tumblr page. Both of which I am doing this very second while I attempt to fill this bullshit screenshot post with words for whatever forsaken reason I feel the need to do so. I let out a sigh, and continue typing.

I, like most of you sex-obsessed nerdlings, cannot get enough of Olivia Munn. Her "act" has grabbed me, gotten me stronghold and held me unlike, say, a Miss Hannah Minx for instance, who I'd most surely strangle to immediate death while fucking and not resuscitate for my own pleasure midway just to do it again. No, no... I'd make sweet sweet annoying ass love to Olivia. And by ass love I don't mean

In this movie Olivia wants a baby with some guy who looks like David Shwimmer and acts like a poor man's Seth Rogen. If the opening act is any indication of what's to come, then ejecting the disc and snapping it in half just to save the fellow Redboxer's is a noble deed in itself. Not only does this guy fantasize about his own wife while jerking off (seriously, who the fuck does that?) but he puts suntan lotion on her back during the nighttime hours! Sure, it's a dream and weird stuff happens. But in my dreams I see boobs, and lots of 'em! Sometimes even two at a time!!

Olivia Munn does not show her boobs here. She merely shows portions of them. Lovely, delectable portions of side boob! *droooool* And some Coppertone booty to uhh, boot, or something. What hurts the most is that she went topless in Magic Mike and looked like total shit, whereas in this movie she looks stunningly beautiful in all of her scenes and it would have been a lot more appreciative if she just took of them clothes here instead. But noooooooo...

They gotta go all Kate Beckinsale in Underworld 2 on us with their fancy guarded shots and shirts taped to nipples scenes. You know what? Fuck Beerfest, and oh yeah, Super Troopers can suck my dick! I'll never watch either of those shit bombs in their entirety after seeing a whole film from the guy who did those. And Olivia Munn is starting to piss me off as well. Do Cosplay porn or GTFO. Werd to your moms I gots hairy palms.


J.M. said...

Thank you for taking that warning thing off of your page. It doesn't take fifteen minutes to get into the site now. Fucking tits.

DrunkethWizerd said...

Sorry about that Chief. I didn't realize. It only used to take me a couple seconds, but the thing came with Blogger and I figured if you posted half a nipple or said the word "MOTHERFUCKER" you had to use it. Then one day I got this message about hardcore porn and I was like, go suck a dick I don't post hardcore porn you fucking lamebrains I'm taking this shit off.

My words are my own and as of posted from their creation forward I hereby claim originality to them. Pictures may prove to be promotional items and are the sole possessions of their respectful owners and/or companies. I do not sell, nor do I buy. I only rent, so therefore, nothing I own is truly mine.