Just drinking beers and collecting badges.

Two Beer Porn posts in a row?! So much for "cutting back" I guess. It's been an up and down week for me let me tell you. Just this last Friday night I lost a member of the glass collection. :( That's right, one of my nephew's Toy Story sippy cups toppled over from the cupboard and fell right on top of my just-used Ommegang chalice, shattering it at the base of the stem. It was a horrible sight to behold indeed. I didn't take any photos of the catastrophe, and that's probably all for the better as nobody wants to see that and I sure as hell don't feel like reliving the nausea. At least the glass was empty at the time and not full of the Stone's RuinTen I had been drinking. If that were the case I would have probably let out a scream similar to the one Night Owl 2 howled when Rorschach got popped.

Aside from drinking some of the best beers in the world recently, I actually have been drinking a lot less in an effort to get back into shape, spend time with my little gremlin and remember what I ate for dinner last night. After all, looking in the garbage can to find out what you opened and cooked the night before probably isn't a good sign. But hey, let's focus on something more positive huh? Like getting new badges on my Untappd account! See those two beers on the right there? Just some standard Founder's IPAs that I haven't tried yet. All of the other qualifying beers on the list to earn this badge I've already drank, so I figured this one will be two brews closer to my 500 mark and this really cool Top Hat with Hops badge. Fuck yeahz.

But aside from alcoholic unlocks, the real prizes are in the middle of that photo up there.

I'm quite excited about my newest acquisitions.

Scratch these off the Wish List!

I've got a real love/hate relationship with beer. On the one hand, I love drinkin' it... and on the other, I hate not drinkin' the stuff. I guess you can say that I've got a drinking problem. That problem being that there are too many damn beers out there I haven't tried and the temptation is just too much for me. All three of these showed up on the shelf on the very same day. I had set out only to grab a few RuinTens, but when I saw the Avery Twentieth Anniversary and those beautiful Sierra Nevada bottles I had no choice but catch them all! Not pictured is the case of 2013 Hoptimum that I bought a short while back, reason being that I drank all dat shit. Cheers.

Wormtown Dark Day BLACK IPA

Wormtown Dark Day BLACK IPA (2013)

Limited Release (March).

22 fl. oz. / $8.99 USD / 6% ABV

About: "Dark Day refers to an event that occurred on May 19, 1780, when an unusual darkening of the day sky was observed over the New England states and parts of Canada. The darkness was so complete that candles were required from noon on. Dark Day IPA is a collaboration with Dave Richardson from Gardner Ale House. Herbal hop aroma is complimented with roasted malt character. American de-husked roasted barley does not lend a bitter acrid flavor but imparts a roasted character that melds with low level caramelized malts. Big herbal, citrus hop flavors and bitterness clash with roasted and mildly sweet malt. Try Dark Day IPA and then drive to Gardner to try its sister brew Nightcrawler IPA."

Thoughts: Poured a dreadfully dark brown color that's not completely black in the glass but is impossible to see through. The eggshell head started slow and then uprooted itself, leaving a three finger top full of small bubbles.

Smells crisp. I like what I'm getting here. Though pretty hop forward there's a sweetness to the scent that really accents the herbal, minty qualities. There's some slight pine, but it's mild and very earthy, and a hidden punch of citrus behind that mint.

There's a lot of roasted malt to start off the taste. It was hardly evident in the scent, very background stuff, though with a black ale you know it's gotta be there. Aside from the boost of roasted dark malt, the taste is pretty consistent with the smell. It's got a potent herbal tone that flows through from start to finish. At the end of the gulp a slow rising bitterness builds and forms a minor haze of leaves and smoke. It's a pretty weird blend of flavors but they all intermingle nicely. After warming it gets a little bready and some caramel notes start to shine through. The aftertaste kind of tastes like raw sourdough that's been charred with a blowtorch.

The mouth feel is very light and bubbly. This stuff pretty much immediately turns to foam once it enters the mouth. I guess we can say that it's an airy situation. This is a decent black ale. It could have used some black licorice and some barrel aging, but at least it didn't reek of chocolate and coffee. Dark Day is my second beer from Wormtown and won't be my last.

Emilia Clarke gets Manhandled in Game of Thrones (2011)

When Daenerys Targaryen got basically bent over and sold to Khal Drogo by her totally gay brother Viserys, she was petrified at the thought of this monstrous looking fucker completely ravaging her with his dominating rage-filled lust and muscular physique. ;) After all, this scary looking bastard is a brute savage and could easily just rip her beautiful head off during violent sex. One can only hope to see such things, right?

Vaginal Viserys walks his sexy sister out to The Great One and parades her soft supple titty-nipples up as an offering of "good faith" to ensure a deal that he will hopefully soon become a King among peasants, with Drogo's powerful reinforcements of course. "You get to rape my sister daily and forever, as long as you help me conquer the land" is pretty much what the fuck this frilly fool's plan is. Khal Drogo knows what's up, of course, but this man is not one to pass up the most easily breakable deal of a lifetime... especially when it's all in his favor. 

Don't look so shocked honey-pie! 

I wear make-up too.

Blondie's brother however, would have never expected the golden shower crown of cum he'd receive at the end of it all. But man was I glad to see that prissy little shit get halo'd. Dude really pissed me off hardcore. If that was my sister I never would have done what he did! Fuck, I would have kept her all to myself to molest. But whatever, I relate more with Khal anyways. At least when it comes to being a scary ass motherfucker who doesn't talk and likes to be scary and not talk with horrified hotties standing around being horrified and hot that is.

So then we come to the good part. The sun is setting on their wedding night, and man is it one f'n romantic scene. They're standing at the ocean, the two of them alone, and things start getting hot n' heavy. The little blonde girl is crying, just the way I like it, and the animalistic predator is circling her like prey to be feasted upon! Now... If you feel an intense and crushing sexual wetness down below, just take a second to realize that this only means that you are a sane human being.

Though the scene cuts short unfortunately at around the moment Beast restrains the Beauty's arms and holds her tightly by the neck, it was still rather gratifying in mine eyes as I felt these moments more than worthy to post upon my humble blog. This kind of stuff is what I'm all about. I'll leave you now with a final image of what I consider to be the sexiest out of the whole post. Check that out! If that doesn't tickle your junk then you're not in the same realm mentally as your old pal Drunketh.

Some upcoming horror art...

What's Drunketh been up to lately? Aside from writing some geek ass brew reviews that nobody likes and posting screenshots of hot chicks not starring in horror films, well, I've been doing more of the same ol' shit that I've done for years now: Sitting in a dark room, drinking beers, and hell, I even started drawing again. Did I mention that I bought a case of Sierra Nevada HoptimuM this last month? That's a lot of cash pissed away considering it's ten bucks a four pack and there's 24 bottles in there... but what could I do, I'm addicted to the shit. And something about those beers just really wet my brain with some artistic flow, ya know.

I had this old sketch of a skull laying in a pile of throwaway art, when I sat down with it again and started fleshing things out. It wasn't until I laid down the cage inside that eye when it hit me to make this into a little Demons flyer. Why the hell not. Once I get all of my line work done I'll start shading then throw in a splash of colors before scanning it and posting it here for all you bloodthirsty ghouls.

Ommegang Game of Thrones Iron Throne

Ommegang Game of Thrones Iron Throne Blonde Ale - Ale brewed with Grains of Paradise and Lemon Peel (2013)

Limited Release (Brewed Once)

25.4 fl. oz. / $8.99 USD / 6.5% ABV

About: "Brewery Ommegang and HBO are partnering on a series of beers inspired by the critically-acclaimed drama Game of Thrones. Launching ahead of the season 3 debut on March 31, Iron Throne, a blonde ale, is the inaugural beer in the series and the result of a creative collaboration between Brewmaster Phil Leinhart and HBO. Iron Throne is a blonde ale at 6.5% ABV and brewed with a robust amount of pils, honey malt, aroma malts and red wheat. Gentle hopping includes Styrian Golding and Hallertau Spalter Select, appropriately noble hops. Spiced with grains of paradise and lemon peel."

Thoughts: Hell fuckin' yeah! Man I wish I could have gotten one of those nice Game of Thrones glasses  (like the one pictured) that they released with this beer, but oh well, I guess just getting the chance to drink it is enough. I did see a really cool House of Targaryen pint glass at the comic shop but it was like $18 so fuck that. 

Cork popped off and went a-flyin', smoke emerged. I first poured the beer "lightly but with a little vigor as to not disturb the yeast"... but don't worry, when I pour the second half of this bottle I'm disturbing the shit right out of that bastard yeast believe you me!

Iron Throne poured a light yellow color, slightly golden amber, with a massive soft white head full of long lasting bubbles. As I raise the glass to the light I see an absolutely insane amount of carbonation rising, giving long life to that never-ending head. The beer itself is seriously cloudy.

First scent is of light Belgian yeast... naturally. There's a touch of sweet citrus here, with a mix of orange and lemon zest. It's been a while since I had a brew with Grains of Paradise in it. This one has a spicy, peppery quality to it and it's a bit floral. The three main components here work quite well together, all of them soft and falling back on a bright malt base.

A wondrous light brew we have here. Very juicy for a split second before it all foams up and tickling pepper just pops all over the place. It's a bit tart, tangy and quite yeasty. Lemon peel and slightly sour fruits bounce around. It's a bit bready, under cooked, earthy and herbal. A drop or two of oily, rose petal tasting hops linger around in the aftertaste. The little bit of funk gives way to clove flavors and "plywood". It's got a gentle bitterness after the swallow, a tart sweetness during the initial taste and a nice blend of easygoing flavors all around.

Those grains really give off a drying effect... almost minty.

This would be a very good beginners beer for someone getting into peppery Belgian style ales. It's mild, unoffensive, easily drinkable, interesting and light. Definitely not the drink of Kings, but rather for pretenders to the throne. Let's see what they come up with next... something fiery I hope!

Southern Tier PLUM NOIR

Southern Tier PLUM NOIR - Imperial Porter brewed with Italian Plums (2013)

Blackwater Series (Bottled on 5/1/13) NEW!

22 fl. oz. / $8.79 USD / 8% ABV

About: "Plums are a diverse group of species, somewhere between 19 and 40 depending on who you ask. We’re only concerned with what we consider the best to brew with – Prunus cocomilia. The Italian plum has beautiful dark skin color and the flesh is perfect for fermentation. We’ll add puréed plums directly to the fermenter where they will add another fermentable component – their residual sugar. The beer will be dry, and have a sweetness derived mainly from the type of malts we use. A bit of the plum flavor will still be present, and it will have a slightly less roasty character than our imperial stouts have had. Hints of plum, hints of coffee from the roasted malt and a thick head. FOOD PAIRINGS: Particularly tasty with chocolate desserts, roasted or smoked foods, barbecue, Gruyère cheese. Malts: 2 Row, Caramel, Chocolate, Debittered Black, Barley Flakes / Hops: Chinook and Willamette / Puréed Italian Plums."

Thoughts: The look is black, or at least very dark... hardly any light can get through this beer. A purple-ish, dark caramel brown perhaps? The foamy two-finger head was actually pretty light of a tan color.

First scent is some gentle roasted coffee for the most part. Loads of dark malts, chocolate and caramel. It's semi-sweet smelling. Any hop characteristic is very subdued, though the brew is still cold. Am I getting plums? There's a bit of a fruitiness here, but it's ever so soft.

Taste is slightly spicy, not too bitter... it's gentle. A lot of grass on the back end of that first gulp, and not a lot of sweetness. It's got a toasty sensation to it, and tons of malt assault. The pureed plums are merely an afterthought at this point, popping up for a split second just before it settles into aftertaste. There's a lot of graininess to the taste here, but nothing that particularly pops out at'cha.

Mouth feel is really foamy, and it dissolves quickly leaving a somewhat dry feeling. It's not all that drinkable since it puffs up in the mouth and gets a little weird. It's bubbly and crisp.

Sad really, I'm about one fourth through this bottle and I'm feeling a bit disappointed. I know that Porters are probably my least favorite style aside from brown ales, but there have been some special exceptions with both. Just as with other Porters, I would have rather liked to have a Stout in its place. I'm going to let the second half of the bottle warm to room temp before I even type any further.

...

Meh. This has to be the least favorite beer I've ever had from Southern Tier. Which is really fucked up, because I have loved all of their beers. I went into this one expecting some violent flavor beatdown, but instead was greeted with blandness and unremarkable sorrow. What the fuck ST!?

Alexia Fast gets Dumped in Jack Reacher (2012)

Just a small town girl... whoring in a shitty world... oh, hello Damned Readers. Drunketh here once again with some screenshots of another hot babe I fell instantly in lust with when I watched Jack Reacher (2012) the other day. Tom Cruise, gotta love it right? Yeah. Well this PYT showed up during the middle of the film and caught my interest, which was a good thing since I was about to furiously drown me some pre-cogs out of sheer boredom.

Alexia Fast plays a used and abused girl from a small shit town who's accepted her fate as nothing more in life than a worthless tart destined to be pushed around and discarded. She may not have much for brains, but what she lacks in cranial activity she makes up for in pure unadulterated sultriness and perky boobs. Here she prepares herself for a night out on the town, and judging by the way she's looking herself over, I think she likes what she sees.

Yowza! I like what I'm seeing as well... oh yes. 

 Dayum!

When she's approached by a dashing young stranger in the dark-ness, she shows little concern as he greets her with a smile and says her name. She doesn't recognize him however, and in one of the movie's more bafflingly awesome scenes, he tells her that they "were both wasted that night" so he understands why she might not remember him. Being the party girl / super dumb slut that she is, this comment enters her mind as a solid possibility(!) that they must have indeed fucked, and she starts flirting with him.

Now I don't know about you, but it's either a really tragic thing OR something completely fucking awesome to just run into people on the street and have them tell you that the two of you fucked before. Imagine if this shit just happens to her all the time! Hell, imagine if it happened to you all the time!? I'd be like "Man, I totally boned this hot ass babe... I wish I could remember it, but in any case Boo-Yah motherfucker! How you like me now?" She just accepts his story as more than likely what must have happened, "Like, that totally does sound like me so I guess it must be true. *giggle*"

Then the dude looks her over, and noticing how done up and rapeable she looks that night, says "Wow!" Perplexing even to me, her response is to give off a disgusted look. Just take a look at her right here:

Bitch, please! You just acknowledged that you probably got drunk and high off your ass one night and fucked this guy without even realizing it, and that's OK for you, but to be looked at by the same guy as some sort of uber-hot sexual object make you feel disgusted and queasy? Sure... ya know, that's one thing that I never really got about you chicks. You take all that time making yourself up and puckering your succulent red lips in the mirror while fluffing your hair, all the while wearing the sluttiest looking outfit you can squeeze into, and when a guy notices you get all pissy about it.

Did I mention that we fucked at a party two months ago after drinking Jägerbombs all night?

Hello! Drop the attitude lady.

Then again, it's probably better to be careful around strange guys who approach you in the night and insist that you both had a wild night of sex that you can't remember. As he's probably about to murder you!!!

How unfortunate! Trust me when I tell you that her being left in that pile of trash was not done without some blatant and harsh symbolism. Looks to me like somebody was leaving a message to all the world regarding sexy whores and prostitutes. Damn shame though, she was a real "gem".