Firestone Walker's Sucaba Barleywine

Firestone Proprietor's Reserve Series Sucaba - Barrel-Aged Barley Wine Ale (2012)

Special Limited Release.

22 fl. oz. / $13.99 USD / 12.5% ABV

About: This beer was formerly known as Abacus, before a lawsuit in 2012 forced them to change the name. "Big boozy bourbon and American oak aromas combined with soft chocolate malty undertones. Complex malt flavors framed in oak, with hints of dark chocolate, vanilla, tobacco, coconut and just a touch of dark cherry. This is definitely a sipping beer, best served in a brandy snifter. This ale pairs well with dark chocolate and sturdy cheeses. Fermentation: Undisclosed / Malts: Munton's Pale, Crisp Maris Otter Pale, Munich, Dark & Light Crystal, Chocolate / Bittering Hops: Bravo / Late Kettle Hops: East Kent Golding."

Thoughts: This must have sat in my fridge for five or six months. I just couldn't hold out any longer, especially after drinking the Oak Aged Imperial Backburner from Southern Tier last night.

Abacus poured a dark and muddy crimson burgundy with little to no head that was slightly tan.

Damn this smells good! Heavy stuff. Highly toxic. The strength that this these brew exhibits in the scent is an exhilirating experience in itself. I'm getting tons of sweet, dark raisins and some beautiful booziness here. I'm reminded of Lost Abbey's Judgement Day for a moment, but what's this? Semi-sweet chocolate making its way towards the nose, conjuring a goblet of raisenettes drenched in bonfire charred booze. Succulent and indulgent, cold as a dark summer's night by the shore, woodsy, with a subtle whiff of bitter coffee towards the end. Hints of black cherry.

The taste... wow! I was really expecting a sucker punch of harsh booze to the face, but man that first gulp was incredibly smooth and just wonderful tasting. Impressive. A small fire ignites in the belly immediately. Starts off very sweet with dark fruit, tons of plum and cherry, a robust maltiness flows forward and it displays bits of chocolate shavings and a huge amount of that oak just sticking to the mouth. I think my tongue is starting to go numb and I've only had four gulps. Wait, no, that only lasts for a few seconds. This beer is so very rich and flavorful. It's immense and a mutant, all over the place yet at the same time, perfectly contained within itself. How can a beer be milk chocolaty one moment, and the next reminiscent of fucking red wine? Without contradicting itself, it's so many things all at once.

Mouth feel is thick, syrupy, coating and lingering. Without contradicting itself, it's got a somewhat crisp and drying factor to it, but it stops halfway through and still remains wet and satisfying. Strange.

A true sipper brew in every sense of the notion. Aftertaste is a slight burn, oak and vanilla with a gentle hop profile on the back of the tongue. Recommended.

He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985)

He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985)

The He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special is the biggest pile of horse shit that I've ever seen in my miserable life... or at least when it comes to the MoTU series, and probably even the shittiest out of every animated Christmas special ever made. Not only does this forty-five minute cartoon have no redeeming qualities at all, but it's in fact fully capable of pissing off even the most tolerable of He-Man fans. After all, there's only so much fond remembrance that the toy-line can bring. Let's face the facts here, He-Man is a pretty "silly" show and it hasn't exactly aged well. To call it "silly" might even be an understatement, as some of it is just downright fucking stupid. It's bad enough that Prince Adam wore a lot of pink and strutted around in tights all the time with those frilly bangs, but did he have to be such a fucking idiot all the time too?!

Even though most shows like He-Man, Transformers, G.I.Joe and Thundercats have had stupid moments and horrendous episodes, He-Man is by far the worst offender when it comes to unbridled stupidity and cheesiness. Thundercats has really maintained a maturity and intellect, though Lion-O is just a naive kid in The Rock's body so there's a lot of cause for dumb moments, but that's part of the story line. Transformers may get pretty lame at times, but it's mostly robots fighting and cool looking cars and planes speeding, so you can forgive that easily. G.I.Joe was over the top, but man was it a smart show with a lot of crazy shit going on. But He-Man, that shit was just lazy as all fuck. They used the same shots over and over in every single episode, and most of the dialogue sounds like it was written by a monkey jerking off.

Like I said, most of the other cartoons has so many redeeming qualities that the little things could be easily forgiven... but I'll tell you what can't be forgiven easily: This mind-numbingly horrid spoon-fed shit-stew of crap! So the story goes like this: Orko hijacks a space cruiser just for fun and because he's a dumbass (I guess he does this kind of shit all the time since he's comic relief) and because of something the ship crash lands on Earth. He finds some children roaming through the snowy forest area nearby and decides to befriend them. He should have just let them eat those poisonous berries they were picking. Meanwhile, Man-At-Arms sends Princess Adora off to some weird ass mermaid planet where these pointless, not-really-transforming, pretty dumb looking, hot-girl-enslaving robots called the Monstroids do a lot of nothing and then get their metal asses handed to them. 

We're then treated to the boy and his little sister(?) telling Orko the story of Chris... oh wait, no, they just cut back to them after all that so-called action and the kid says "...and that's the story of Christmas!" Wow. Talk about cheap. Which brings me to how little actual "Christmas" stuff is in this special. They played it safe alright. So safe in fact that I'm surprised they even mentioned half of the shit that they did. Anyways, the Princess has some lesbian sex with one of these hot as all fuck mermaid wenches and then steals her glowing crystal of power that has the power to do something or other concerning the ship that Orko crashed somewhere. It all ends up with them beaming him, the ship and the kids (you know, for some added excitement) back to the planet of Eternia. Orko goes all orko and convinces all the responsible gods of the kingdom to keep the kids for a while so they can tell everyone about this thing called Christmas. One of She-Ra's man-buddies and a chick named Perfuma sing a song with the two kids that is so delightfully horrid, it'll make you want to go out an buy a Foo Fighters album just to get the pain out of your brain.

I blacked out right around this point, and really, it's a bit of a blur... but I'll try to make sense of it, even though, believe me, there's not much sense to make. Skeletor was of course at the time doing something evil and sinister, plotting to wreck something or take over the kingdom, and just fucking around per usual. Something happened on another planet(?) with these things called the Manchines, which are like these little super-fucking-gay cute species of weaklings that need to be obliterated as soon as now. I remember drifting in and out of consciousness and that it sucked. Oh man did it suck balls! So Skeletor ends up kidnapping the kids from their kidnappers somehow and takes them on some LoTR-esque type journey through the snow covered mountains of madness to his rape-cave. Why he didn't use his astro-glider or his rescue peeps I don't know why, can't remember, but Skeletor shouldn't be walking to his own fortress. Where the hell are his cock-sucking minions anyways?

Look at this shit! Would you just Look at it!?

Suddenly, a Wild Snow Beast appears. "I don't know what's happening to me, but I must save the children!" Wait, what the fuck? Did Skeletor just say that? Yes, he did, and on top of that, he busts some chill ass moves and that Snow Beast drops like a 12 year old girl at a Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 premiere. The kids keep calling him nice after that and he pretends not to like it. "Listen, I'm not nice and kind and I'm not wonderful!" Sure buddy. The kids start talking to Skeletor, pleading and saying shit like "Please Mister, we're cold." Skeletor is having none of it, but wait... what's this...? Something is happening to the blue-skinned, buff-ass grinch with the face of skull. He magically produces and gives the kids winter coats, and then on top of that, carries the little crying Manchine puppy so it doesn't get cold. What in the fuck! What's he going to do next, start baking cookies and help them decorate a stupid tree!?

Fuck you Rick Berman! Out of nowhere The Evil Hordak shows up in a huge, dick shape helicopter to save the day. And it's about fuckin' time too. I can't take this shit no mo.

The Evil Hordak of course is a complete badass here and just one bad motherfucker who couldn't give one single shit-lump of coal about whatever this Christmas is or these little bastard kids. As always (since the dawn of the 80's cartoon age) when a new villain is introduced into a cartoon and then there are two main villains, we all know that one of them must go out looking like a bitch. If "Never Back Down" and "Michael Bay" ever taught me anything, it's that. Remember The Mighty Megatron bowing down to that punk son of a fuck The Fallen? Calling him "master" and all that bullshit? Yeah, it made me want to lay ass bricks. That's pretty much the deal with Skeletor here. He's reduced to looking like a total dickwad. It's not bad enough that 80's cartoon villain leaders had to always yell "retreat!" and "you got me this time" and shit like that, but now this fuckin' guy is sucking alien puppy dick and camping out with little kids. It's sickening.

There's hardly any Christmas stuff in this show, it's all about peace and caring and happiness. That's not what Christmas is all about! ...It's about presents! Dur. He-Man does dress up like Santa though, and it looks stupid as shit too. Skeletor even says things like "Thank goodness this Christmas only comes once a year, because I don't like feeling this way." It's horrendous. I don't know if these kids are boys or girls, or if one is a boy and one is a girl or they're both just non-gendered or what the fuck is going on. It's really ambiguous. The episode is filled with nothing but totally lame puns. Every action that occurs is stated out loud while it happens and the reasoning behind why it's happening as well. It's very mind-numbing. I feel even stupider than I usually do after watching this kid shlock. Final Thoughts: This was some bitch ass shit I'll tell you what! Skeletor ain't no caring, nurturing, puppy-dog cuddling, warm and fuzzy lover of some genderless punk kids.

Alice's happy suburban life in Resident Evil 5: Retribution (2012)

Wake up... time to die!

What a magnificent intro, don't you think? It's got all the elements that I love about these films:

Milla Jovovich. Milla Jovovich's beautiful eyes. Milla Jovovich's beautiful face.

Milla Jovovich in her beautiful panties.

Milla Jovovich looking into a mirror. Milla Jovovich looking absolutely horrified.

Milla Jovovich looking incredibly hot and sexy while screaming.

Say what you will about these films, but director W. S. really made his three films in this series look awesome.

Not to mention you gotta love mind-fuck intros.

Avery Old Jubilation Ale

Avery Old Jubilation Ale (2012)

Winter Seasonal.

12 fl. oz. / $2.45 USD / 8.3% ABV

About: "Our winter strong ale has a gorgeous mahogany hue, a hint of hazelnuts, and a finish reminiscent of mocha and toffee. No spices, just a perfect blend of five specialty malts. Hops: Bullion / Malts: Two-row barley, Special roast, Black, Chocolate, Victory / Food pairing: Old Jubilation Ale is comfortable being sipped and quaffed alongside many large cuts of meat you typically find around the holidays. Roast duck, crown roast, rack of lamb, prime rib, herb- and honey-crusted chicken and all manner of gamebirds are great choices, as are seasonal soups made with spices like nutmeg and cinnamon."

Thoughts: Old Jubi poured a dark and hazy copper tone with shades of ruby red and had a fluffy, light-tan colored head atop the thing.

Getting a lot of chocolate and black malt here... toffee, peanut brittle and very little bits of coffee way in the background. It smells raw and wet. It's got a really fruity tone to it that's a bordering on funky. Kinda like a homemade oatmeal with raisins and apricot chunks, and coffee milk poured into it. Something weird about it too, but it's hard to finger.

Heavy spicy malt, grassy hop background, vapor, dirt, heavy bitterness and a bit of tartness. It's like an evil generic Dr Pepper with stinging hazy booze fumes. This kind of reminds me of a porter, or an woodsy brown ale. There's a major roasted thing going on that's taking over much of the beer and it's got a gentle smokiness to it. That being said, I'm not really all that much into this beer. I appreciate the strength to it and that makes it a head above other brews like this I've tried, but it's far too nutty of a beer for me. If you like brown ales with a bit of smoke and a lot of nuts that are really strong, then this one is for you.

Mouth feel is very smooth, easy drinking, it's got a little heat at the back of the throat and there's no bad aftertaste... if you don't mind a little char. Aside from being a strong version of a plain tasting beer, this one is still a bit too plain for me.

Breckenridge Christmas Ale

Breckenridge Christmas Ale (2012)

Brewed and Bottled by Breckenridge Brewery of Denver, CO. USA.

Winter Seasonal. 

12 fl. oz. / $2.29 USD / 7.4% ABV

About: "Bottled joy to the world. The chill of a Colorado high-country winter calls for a beer with extra flavor and strength. Here it is. At over 7% alcohol, with a sturdy texture and rich flavors of caramel and chocolate, our holiday seasonal is the fermented equivalent of a good fire. Malts: Two Row Pale, Caramel, Chocolate, Black / Hops: Chinook, Mt. Hood / Yeast: Top Fermenting Ale Yeast."

Thoughts: This good cheer beer poured a very muddy mahogany color with a light, silvery-cream head that faded pretty quickly.

Smells of a Strong Ale. I've gotten used to this type of beer. At first it was very much an enigma to me, as were "Christmas" beers in general. Now I don't necessarily go in looking for spice all the time. I can accept different styles for the classification. I'm picking up caramel and chocolate malt for the most part. This beer is very malty. Mixing pale and black malt is pretty interesting. Black malts have a very distinct characteristic to them, and while it's apparent here, the pale malt is really pulling everything else back a bit. I guess you can say that the smells are branching out, like a tree. And that tree is decorated with small popping bits of classical hops.

This beer has a pretty heavy taste, and there is a touch of natural spice from the ingredients here. It's got a rich dirty caramel thing going on mostly, with a peppery backup and touch of sweet fluff. Hops are noticeable after the swallow and it's followed with a bit of a clove-like smokiness and a rusty cola aftertaste. The brew itself is a tingler and dances around on the tongue. It's got a dusty-like taste but I doubt there is any cinnamon in this. After a while the heavy malts and gentle bittersweet flavor of the brew is matched with some sprinklings of grapefruit citrus.

Mouth feel is medium. I'm picking up a slightly watery texture, but the ingredients here add a lot to it so doesn't seem so. It slightly foams up but goes down quickly and slowly fades off into the distance.

This is an OK beer. It's not overly flavorful, nor does it leave a lasting impression at all. From the standpoint of a "Christmas" Ale, this could be any beer for the winter months. Nothing off putting about it at all, and it's generally pleasant for the most part. Really nothing special.

Jolly Pumpkin La Parcela No. 1 pumpkin ale

Jolly Pumpkin La Parcela No. 1 pumpkin ale (2012)

Autumn Seasonal (First Year)

25.4 fl. oz. / $13.99 USD / 5.9% ABV

About: "[Blend 15 - Bottled 09-21-2012] Ok, so the joke was that Jolly Pumpkin doesn't brew a pumpkin beer. Well, now we do. Just this one. Packed with real pumpkins, hints of spice, and a gentle kiss of cocoa to liven the soul. An everyday easy way to fill your squashy quotient. Guess now folks will have to find something else to joke about..." We'll see.

Thoughts: Poured an ultra hazy dirty orange color that's almost auburn or slightly yellowed, but hardly. Carbonation is off the charts. Tons of small white bubbles comprised the head before it eventually turned to fluff and puddles.

Smells like bubblegum and spice. Doesn't smell much like a traditional pumpkin beer at all, but that's not a problem as I welcome the different. I don't expect every pumpkin brew to smell like Pumking, but I do hope for each new one I try to have at least some personality. This actually smells like something my mom used to make... it was like a custard or something, sprinkled with nutmeg and other spices. I was never really into that stuff as a kid, and I'm not really into eating flan these days, but it doesn't smell bad. It's inviting, though bubbly. Like a creamy, bubblegum pumpkin cidra.

Taste starts off with a ton of malt, then a hard fucking slap in the face full of sour, followed by a quick spike of spice that injects then retreats. Gawd dayum. This brew is very earthy, dirty, herbal, and duckface inducing. Noticing tons of lacing. After a few gulps the spices start to come through a little bit more, so it's not obtrusively spicy up front obviously, but once the palate adjusts to the harsh sting of first contact the overall flavor and blending becomes a little more evident. I suppose if (un)Domesticated Wild Ales are your sort of thing and you like a bit of pumpkin mash and a lot of pepper in the background, then this beer would be right up your dark alley. I'm gaining the tongue for it, and really I don't mind (I'll finish the job you can count on that) but believe me when I say that this is a harsh one. Especially for the unexpected drinker. You've got wild ale yeast, straw and hay, tart and sour mash, lighter Belgian characteristics, it's a bit acidic, and there's a dry spice on the end of the tongue once it goes down. I love sour stuff. Ever since I was a kid I've been obsessed with sour, and on top of that, I drink pickle juice just because I love the stuff. Not to mention with all the beers I've tried so far, I think I'm gaining a pretty good handle on what is fuckin' harsh and my overall opinion on this one is: It could use a touch of sweetness. Bitterness and Tart is off the charts here and it's slightly painful. Every single spot in my mouth tingles and quivers when this beer hits it, like I'm biting down on aluminum foil or chewing raw citrus-less lemons (if that even fuckin' makes sense!?).

That said, I've typed all this and I'm not even half way through the bottle. So I'll quickly get to the other stuff and them I'm off to chug the rest. Mouth feel is slightly foamy due to all the carbonation, it bubbles up quickly once it comes in contact to saliva and remains an enigma after that. Finish is crisp, drying and semi-clean. Aftertaste is good too. Like an apple cider and flowers. It gets very floral and the slightest hint of fruity, but an artificial type. This is one fucking weird drink, man. It takes a little getting used to.... and if you're not used to a lot of other beers like this, it'll probably take you a lot of getting used to. So if you plan on buying a fifteen dollar bottle of wine for a special occasion, buy this instead... and when she (or he) spits it out, you can drink it all to yourself.

Heavy Seas Bourbon Oak Greater Pumpkin

Heavy Seas The Great'ER Pumpkin - Aged In Bourbon Barrels (2012)

Very Limited Seasonal Release.

22 fl. oz. / $ 7.99 USD / 9% ABV

About: "Great Pumpkin draws much of its flavor from a mixture of spices: nutmeg, cinnamon, clove, and allspice. Dark brown sugar adds color and some dryness to the spicy, malt-forward ale. The addition of the spices and pumpkin in the kettle makes this brew opaque.

The Great’ER Pumpkin, the bourbon barrel-aged version of The Great Pumpkin. Our brewers wrangled fresh, just-emptied bourbon barrels from A. Smith Bowman Distillery in Virginia, then fill them with The Great Pumpkin, and let the beer age inside the barrel for three weeks - bringing out vanilla and oak notes. The Great’ER Pumpkin will come out in very limited supply, in bottles and on draft."

Thoughts: Light hiss from the cap. Very slow to form head that surprisingly lasted almost a full minute. Head is a semi-transparent white. This beer is incredibly cloudy and so dense that it's impenetrable by light and/or the human eye. Color is a somewhat light auburn orange.

The scent is very mild. I'm getting some honey, circus peanuts and some bourbon way way off in the background. Getting a little bit of cinnamon, nutmeg and marshmallow... all still very hard to smell.

On first gulp, I'm hit with the heat! While this beer may be real light on the scent, it blasts straight away in the mouth. A fierce black pepper burst, a fiery haze of booze and a sting from that cinnamon all rain down upon my tongue like pounding fists of flavor. How's the flavor taste exactly? Like harsh, boozy and very buttery cookies with slightly burnt bottoms and loads of sugar as well as brown sugar. It starts off boozy and sweet, then a deep rooted bitterness comes forward for a few moments, before retreating and letting that booze mildly ride out. It's interesting, and tastes really good once it warms. It's not orgasm-inducingly immense or anything, but it's got a velvety like taste to it and it's got aspects of what I like about my (barrel aged) beers:  Great in winter, Spiced, Boozy and Strong, and it's Raw Sugary Adult Candy. Pumking gets the TKO for the win near the end of Round 2, but this one is still fun stuff.

Haven't tried the original version this year, but more than likely I prefer it to this version. It's still in shops though, so there's a chance I may just pick up this years version and see. Mouth feel is a heavy medium, tickling with spices, soft and gentle on the fluff and extremely minimal on the bubbles due to the barrel aging.

Founders Cerise

Founders Cerise - Cherry Fermented Ale (2012)
Seasonal Release (Discontinued - No Longer Brewed)
12 fl. oz. / $3.25 USD / 6.5% ABV

About: "You’ll have a soft spot for this one. Using only fresh Michigan tart cherries, this beauty tantalizes with intense flavors combined with a no hesitation malt bill. Adding fresh cherries at five separate stages of fermentation achieves the ultimate balance between tartness and sweetness."

Thoughts: My first Founders. Pretty excited about it. Seen the bottles in the store for a long time, but figured I'd start off with this special release of theirs. A "Malt Beverage with Cherry Puree". Nice!

Cerise poured a raspberry red color, almost burgundy, like a dark orange-red that hides itself in shadows. The small, slightly pink head fizzled away rather quickly. Carbonation seems low. This beer is extremely hazy. I really like the color on this one. There's just something about red beers that makes me feel... sexy. Uh, I mean evil as shit. Yeah, that's the ticket. 

Smell up front is very malty. It's not really giving off any real "fruity" notes, but rather there seems to be a lurking tartness to it. Cherry is present overall, just laying low.

Wow! Holy fuck. Those cherries didn't really come out in the scent but man, they come out blasting in flavor stages. Starts off with a sweetness, and a sweet tart that builds up incredibly slow before delivering a puckering punch right to the cheeks. This is very flavorful, and leaves a blazing trail of cherry rush throughout the mouth. The effect is pretty intense right at the back of the tongue immediately following the swallow. Leafy hops start to appear as I breathe in and smack my lips. Utterly sweet, tart as hell in some spots and all in all pretty damn tasty.

The feel is a viscous attack on the taste buds! It's a lighter medium, and it's a little foamy, but when it hits you it's a real smacker. I can't imagine drinking more than one of these at a time. This stuff is crazy.

Southern Tier 2XMAS

Southern Tier 2XMAS - Ale Brewed with Figs, Orange Peels and Spices (2012)

Autumn Seasonal (First Year Beer).

12 fl. oz. (x6) / $10.99 USD / 8% ABV

About: "Swedish flags are a fairly common sight in our part of the country. Holiday parties often have warm concoctions of spices and booze at the ready to knock the ice off of toes while raising spirits. We were inspired by a “Glogg” party, deciding on the spot to brew a beer that pays tribute to this Nordic tradition. 2XMAS Ale combines traditional brewing ingredients with figs, orange peels, cardamom, cinnamon, clove and ginger root. It’s a holiday addition to the 2X line and another reason to toast to the season, but unlike Glogg, we recommend serving this one chilled."

Thoughts: 2XMAS poured a dark and slightly hazy raspberry red with a soft yellowish tinted head that faded super quick. Carbonation is light.

Smells like pie, man. Light on the nutmeg, but those figs really come through with a vengeance. Little bit of cinnamon and that thick toasted sugar. The smell is like taking a bite out of a muffin top, say a pumpkin variety or pecan pie type thing with some thick candied sugar on top. It just smells freshly baked. Not too overpowering with booze at 8%, but just a well accomplished liquid dessert.

This beer is nuts. The booze comes through gently in the taste about halfway through the first gulp. You're immediately hit with those spices and just a sweet and savory flavor overall. The spices don't go over the edge like some other spiced beers either. It's not a spice bomb at all. They slowly fade, exactly at the right time each and every gulp. There's no chalky or powdery after burn, just soft wetness and a brilliant aftertaste of a festive and enjoyable brew.

I had a fig tree just down the street from my house as a kid. I've smelled them and even eaten them a few times throughout my youth and that old familiar scent and flavor really comes through here. I'm sure if you've never had them you might not notice, but you can always think of Fig Newtons and that's what you've got right here. It's got a bit of a Dr. Pepper / Cola taste once everything fades out, but it's nice. The hops and orange peel here are really in the background. You can catch it during the initial drinks, and after a while it starts to pick up and get a little stronger in the aftertaste, but this beer is heavy on the malt, figs and gentle spice up front. Really cool shit mister.

Mouth feel is a bit of a very light medium. It's slightly syrupy and coating. Aftertaste lasts long and the best of the best flavors here cling to the tongue while the dry spices and hops fade out, leaving the sweetness of the malts and those funky figs to do their work. Not mind-blowing .. but in a word, amazing. This is the stuff that dreams are made of.

Eric finally unwraps his very special present!

It's always the best feeling when you open something new that you've always wanted.

And ripping a box open never felt so good!

"You know what I like best about Christmas? The surprises. I mean, it's like you get this box and you're sure you know what's inside of it. You know. You shake it, you weight it, you're totally convinced you have it pegged. No doubt in your mind. But then you open it up and it's completely different. You know. Wow, bang, surprise!"

But with that moon in the sky, who wants to be alone?

And when the blood drips so red, who wants to be alone?

 Right next to me, You'll want to be... till the sun comes up.

 Despite being revealed to be an evil conniving motherfucker, you can still see a bit of sadness in Bill's eyes when he busts in on Sookie about to let Eric totally fuck her silly. 

All sorts of crazy shit went down leading up to this, but did I after this confrontation ever imagine that Bill would just stand aside (silently weeping in the night) as Eric and Sookie boned in the woods? I guess even with all his new found power, he's still simply powerless over matters of the heart.