November 28, 2013

How I dress my little goblin.

Is there a reason why all baby clothes completely suck ass? Seriously, have you guys even seen any of this shit!? "Don't make me call Grandma", "I'm cute like Mommy", and "I text and drive just like Mommy when she ran over Grandma." Fucked up shit, man. It's bad enough that adult clothes are 90% garbage, but this cringe-worthy bullshit is just embarrassing to look at. Are the people who come up with the designs on these things the same people who write the shit on those $1 birthday cards or what?

Something has got to change when it comes to all this cutesy shit. And since creating Evil Baby Clothes isn't something I plan on doing anytime in the near future, I figure that I'll just have to be a good parent and be selective with what I buy my little dude. My son is going to wear cool (ghoul) shit... and some nerd gear too, because that's what his dad would do. My face lit up when I first saw the full body skeleton suit, but leave it up to my ghoulish goo to go completely insane over the Pumpkin Butt pajamas.

He'll be drinking pumpkin beers by the age of fifteen... you just watch!

November 23, 2013

Photos of the Synapse DEMONS and DEMONS 2 Blu-rays.

I'm so excited that I could puke! I opened the mailbox with a desperate anticipation once again to day, but this time, there is no disappointment setting in, oh no... because I finally received the Blu-ray Combos of two of my very favorite films of all time, Demons and Demons 2, released by one of my favorite DVD companies, Synapse Films. I have yet to view either of the four discs yet, but the packaging looks incredible. On top of all the hard work that the guys over at Synapse did, they also included these totally awesome insert cards for both films. The first is the infamous Metropol movie ticket, in shimmering gold no less(!), and the second is a bloody invitation to Sally's fucking birthday party! You gotta love that. Each case also came with a  2013 Synapse catalog booklet. Both steelbooks were sealed and individually encased nicely in bubble-wrap. 

Front and Back of both Steelbooks:

 Demons full cover, inner case and insert card:

Demons 2 full cover, inner case and insert card:

Tech specs:

I'm so glad they included the US English dub that I grew up with. I never really liked the International English version all that much. It'll be great to finally throw out that old VHS dupe from back in the day and to be able to watch this in far better condition with the voice-overs I know and lust. If you need me, I'll be cracking open a bottle of Ommegang's Game of Thrones Take the Black Stout and enjoying a night of Demons! Later haters.

November 21, 2013


The Tap PUMPKIN EATER - Roasted Pumpkin Ale (2013)
Brewed and Bottled by The Tap Brewing Company (formerly Haverhill Brewery) in Haverhill, MA. USA. 
Autumn Seasonal.
22 fl. oz. / $4.99 USD / 5.5% ABV

About: "'Round these parts we respect the seasons. We use actual sugar pumpkins from Kimball Farm in Haverhill, MA, less than 3 miles from the brewery. Hand cut and roasted in the pub ovens, we can only make this beer when they’re ripe and ready. Here’s to real pumpkins at the right time."

Thoughts: Pouring this into my new Pumpkan "jar". Very light hiss and the cap popped right off a little too easy.

Totally orange. A little bit cloudy. The slightest amber shade in there, but more orange than I'm used to seeing in a pumpkin brew. Is it the new glass? Perhaps. Very white fluffy head, and long lasting on this one.

The scent is really, really mild. Hardly any spices to behold. There's something there in the background, but what I'm getting up front is just boiled pumpkin flesh. It smells a little bit sweet. But you can tell that tartness and raw bitterness is hidden just underneath the surface.

First gulp and I find that this is a lot sweeter than I thought it would be. Very much like sugar(y) pumpkins. It's got little to no bitterness at all. So much for my nostrils this time around. It's like cooked sugar pumpkins, sweet malts and some cinnamon way in the background that creeps up on you. I just sneezed four times. Something is up with this one. The peppery and spicy elements just quickly creep up and flood. But it's not heavy or overwhelming or even all that noticeable even. This tastes like a standard pumpkin ale, only it's got nothing wrong with it. No, it's not pumpkin pie, but for the style within the style that it's competing against, this one has a pretty smooth taste.

Main flavors are sweet and mild. No bitterness at all. Mouth feel is a bit watery. It goes down easy. Not too fond of this one after it's all said and drank, but happy that it doesn't have anything about it that really sucks. Take that as a plus, since companies fuck up pumpkin ales all the damn time. This one is good for a beginner to these types of beers both in terms of price and inoffensiveness, but could definitely use a more inviting scent to bring it all together. Oh, and more booze wouldn't hurt either.

November 16, 2013

Rogue Farms Pumpkin Patch Ale

Rogue Farms Pumpkin Patch Ale (2013)
Limited Autumn Seasonal Release.
25.4 fl. oz. / $7.99 USD / ABV??? (either 5.6% or 6%)

About: "The newest addition to the Chatoe Rogue series is Pumpkin Patch Ale, a beer made using fresh pumpkins grown in a patch that borders Rogue’s 42 acre hop yard. The pumpkins are picked, loaded into Rogue’s farm truck, driven immediately 77 miles to our brewery in Newport, quickly roasted, and pitched into the brew kettle to create a batch of Pumpkin Patch Ale.

INGREDIENTS: Rogue Farms Pumpkins, Great Western 2-Row, Carawheat, Weyermann Carafe Malts, Rogue Micro Hopyard Rebel Hops, Ginger, Cloves, Vanilla bean, cinnamon, cardamom, nutmeg, Free range coastal water and Pacman Yeast."

Thoughts: I found this fucking bottle hidden in a walk in fridge, next to all the junk, the half used jar of relish, someone's iced coffee and some random bottles with no labels. I've never once seen this bottle on the shelf in this store, so what's the fuckin' deal here pal? They hoggin' bottles of the pumpkin ales people haven't tried yet?! Well whoever this was being saved for is in for one hell of a disappointment today my fiends. 

I'm not really all that into Rogue Brewing, but you know how it is when it comes to pumpkin ales, especially those in big ass orange bottles! I don't know what year this is, though I assume it's this year, and also the ABV isn't on the bottle so I'll have to look that up later. Right now though, I'm cracking this bottle.

The cap popped off really easy. Hmm. Had to pour this one straight down the glass to get that head on it. The beer poured a muddy light brownish burnt auburn orange color with a grayish off white head. Some very low levels of carbonation it seems as well.

This smells like a rather average pumpkin ale. It's very earthy... and it's making me sneeze. It's very raw pumpkin heavy. The pumpkin spice is there, but it doesn't come out all too strong in the scent. There's lightly toasted malts, sunflower seeds, day old raisin bread, cinnamon sticks, and dirty water.

The taste is pretty much identical to the smell. It's a little bit fruity, not overly sweet, but not bitter or raw tasting at all, and is overall a gentle one. There's no real pop of anything here, aside from a mild sting at the beginning. Other than that, it's pretty mild all around. Spices are still subdued, when I thought they'd come out more in the taste. It's malt heavy, sweet and mild, earthy, with just a touch of pepper, and it's even fresh tasting. The main flavor here are the pumpkins. Caramel malt helps things along and luckily all the other stuff plays a nice roll of holding the beer up. While I would have loved a lot more pumpkin spice in this, there's nothing wrong tasting about the beer at all, which is more than one can ask for here. It doesn't taste too strong though... for such a big bottle, and what seems to be a sessionable pumpkin ale, perhaps this is meant to be shared at the Thanksgiving table. Then again the suggested food pairing for this is pork and dessert. Guess I should have had it with a Burger King bacon ice cream sundae. Oh well.

This one's really squashy. Nothin' wrong with that. It also cost less then I thought it would. This one gets filed along with all of the other standard pumpkin ales that many independent companies put out, only it's a little bit towards the top of that list since there's no bad flavors here. It's not overly sweet or bitter and it's generally enjoyable to drink.

My words are my own and as of posted from their creation forward I hereby claim originality to them. Pictures may prove to be promotional items and are the sole possessions of their respectful owners and/or companies. I do not sell, nor do I buy. I only rent, so therefore, nothing I own is truly mine.