Favorite Death Scenes Part 3

Michele Soavi's brilliant film "The Church" starts off with this incredibly INSANE and pumped-up progressive rock music while Templar Knights, dressed in white and on white horses, ride through the countryside... on a mission! It's an immediate assault on the senses for an opening scene of a film. What the fuck is going on!? This shit is intense, and then it drastically slows down for the maximum effect of what is about to happen. Executed flawlessly, I may say. Let us take note in this day's edition of Horror Movie Death Scenes I Molest Myself To:

Some rhetoric-spilling derelict alerts the Knights to the whereabouts of so-called "evil doings". "Hey! Over Here..." he shouts before pointing to a rock with three spiraling 6's on it and giggling like Beavis. "This waaayyy." His overacting is funny as shit.

The Templar Knights slowly follow his torchlight through a darkened cave and into a strange hidden wilderness where a cute, yet dirty girl washes her feet and then drinks the feet water from her hands. Interesting.

The girl is warned by others as the Knights and Beavis emerge from the cave, and she quickly (not to mention suspiciously) wraps her foot. Beavis points at her, screaming "That's the one!", while she grovels over quietly too kiss a Knight's boot.

"Who are you? Where are the others!?"

Suddenly the priest runs up. "Beware Sire. She's a Witch! Don't let her speak to you. Don't let her touch you! She's one of Them!!1 In league with Satan!" Ect,ect. She offers him water, and then goes to touch the Knight's helmet. Big Mistake? We'll see...

The Knight of course opens his mask up from the middle in total badass fashion and stares her down like a complete lunatic!

She asks him with a young and completely innocent voice

"You won't hurt me will you?" Awwww...

Look at this guy and his gnarly side braid! I bet he never hurt a chick in his life.

No seriously. Look at this fuckin' psycho! He's cool as shit!

He slowly reaches and and begins to pet her face with his gauntlet. 

How Sweet.

He then wraps his hand around her face...

...squeezes it...

...and SQUISH!

Of course, they check her foot and find absolutely nothing incriminating... but end up killing the whole clan of "Satan Worshiping Witches" nonetheless. Go figure! This whole scene reminds me of the time I really wanted to kill my girlfriend, but instead of that just had her act it out while I filmed it. Weird, huh? When I was younger and first saw this film on VHS, I loved this intro, but I hated how it changed to modern times for the rest of the film. I really wanted more and more of this shit, but I've grown to really appreciate and love this film as a whole a lot more now.

Asia Argento in Michele Soavi's The Church (1989)

Lotte, a young girl who looks strikingly similar to the girl who had died centuries later, silently makes her way into the church in the early hours of the morning. Dressed rather provocatively, she shrouds herself in a long overcoat before sneaking back into her parent's living quarters.

She of course is caught by her father who corners her and screams that her bed has not been slept in all night and that she's a sultry little tramp who's been out on the town misbehaving.

"You've been Smoking! ...and Drinking!!"

She's not... that... innocent! Or maybe her father is just a complete raving lunatic. The small glimpse we get of her family situation shows us that it's not exactly the best thing going for her at the moment. She seems to be full of life and adventure, but her parents are obviously lost souls.

One of Lotte's hobbies is studying in the church's library while listening to Madonna. The nice librarian there always enjoys her company, and on this day in particular he's become rather intrigued by her. You see, the librarian has simply gone mad after being exposed to demonic forces while researching the church's lower depths.

"Lotte. Are you listening to The Misfits?"

After requesting she open the window for him, things take a strange and uncomfortable turn.

His rapish behavior startles her, and as he beings to ask her questions in babytalk.

"You didn't go to school today. Why... did you have a tummy ache?"

"Wanna play doctor?"

Naturally... she gets the fuck out of there!

She runs to her father and tells him all the horrible things the librarian was about to do her. But daddy doesn't want to hear her terrible LIES! "The librarian is a nice man. I'll wash your mouth out with soap for speaking badly of him and lying!"

With a mouth full of soap, she struggles and looks up in the mirror, only to see that here father has the face... of a Demon! Ahhhhh... so Lotte isn't having to good of a day. I wonder if things will turn around for her.

Who's that Strange Girl in La Chiesa (1989)?

In medieval times, a superstitious snitch leads leads some downright unmerciful Templar Knights into a cave dwelling of some terrified "Satanic Witches" and their families, where they relentlessly slaughter the whole fucking communion. They of course dig out a huge hole in the earth and just dump the bodies in, before a so-called Priest proclaims that they must build a church on top of them to seal their Evil forever. While this has all gone on, one of the Evil Ewoks has been hiding from harm, scared and alone (except for perhaps a baby in a basket, and a duck... that totally gives the hiding spot away!)

Quack Quack and the restless Knight makes his way slowly over to the trees and bushes. Curious of course to see what Evil lurks behind this inconspicuous Wicker Mask, he draws his jousting lance and tears it away...

...to find: a young girl with a cold (apparently)!

He pauses for a moment, staring at her, while she stares back up at him. He then slowly raises his weapon, pauses for another moment, and then violently plunges it down into her helpless body.

...and then she died.

Asia Argento plays a rather prominent role in Michele Soavi's under-appreciated, 1989 masterpiece The Church (aka La Chiesa [in Italy], aka Demons 3 [in Japan]). Though her unnamed character from the family of "Witches" is murdered centuries earlier, a seemingly reborn version of herself appears once the story begins (as a naughty young thing named Lotte). More to come...