Kate Beckinsale conjures The Baroness in Total Rekall (2012)

There wasn't really much that I could remember (or is that... Recall? *DrEvil*) concerning this unexciting 2012 Colin Farrell flick "Total Wackage". Well, aside from Kate Beckinsale being in it and looking totally smokin'-fuckin' hot! She took the sleek, sexy, sinister, sultry and sardonic babe role to the next level with her portrayal of a totally sleek, sexy, sinister, sultry and sardonic bitch with a sour-lime twist. Making me horny as a motherfuck in the process.

I found it particularly exciting how she got off with that gun pointed at her neck. 

She showed a bit of some cat-like reflexes...

...and then she got wet!

Taking it to the streets with some skin-tight hotness and some fucking drone robots (just for good measure I guess) was a smart move on the filmmaker's part. Myself? Well, I personally would have had her naked getting fucked by said robots. But I guess tight black clothing and/or leather is a nice choice for the PG-12 crowd.

I couldn't help but picture Sienna Miller as the Baroness while I watched Kate Beckinsale go all out and kick some ass with a fury in Total Rekall. There's just something about a slim and sexy brunette wearing tight black clothing and wielding heavy artillery that really turns me on.

Fact of the matter is this: Kate Beckinsale is a total babe, and whether or not she's trying to kill me in my dreams... I'm just glad she's there at all. ;)

Kate Beckinsale = Clicks.

I was searching Kate Beckisale up on Yahoo! and it came up with this cool little section called "Blog Results" right under the Videos and there were three of my recent posts right there and I thought that was pretty cool so I just took a quick screenshot.

And it looks like after getting her ass handed to her in Contraband, she's ready to fight back!

Though, as it's with Colin Farrell, it may as well be a bitch-slap fight.

-_-

Nude > Naked. Apparently.

Some All Time search stats show what the people really care about: Garfield's Halloween Adventure... 

...and titties.

Kate Beckinsale is looking (UN)Dead Sexy in Underworld!

Quite a difference from her Alice in Wonderland look huh?

I like both. But then again, I'm a pervert.

Bird of Prey... bird of prey... flying high... flying high...

...am I going to die?

That quote up there below both of those pictures was a double reference to both Jim Morrison/The Doors and the 2002 DC Comics television show Birds of Prey which featured Batman and Catwoman's daughter perched upon a high rise building gargoyle statue much like Selene here. And yeah, so clever that nobody would ever get it unless I just took the time to explain this shit. So anyways...

 Anyone? 

Fuck it. Nevermind. Nobody remembers that show anyways. Mia Sara was in it playing Harley Quinn! Yeah, I'm going to keep talking about it now... that's the hot ass bitch from Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Legend ...she was in it, and the show still didn't get picked up. Cancelled before the first season ended.That pisses me right off. Because I like hot chicks in tight black leather kicking ass. And Mia Sara always got the devildick hard!

Underworld is the film that made KB famous and it's easy to see why. She's GOTHED out, wears tight black leather, shoots guns at anything that fucking moves and has a Sexy Mouth. And boy, do I like me a sexy mouth. Not a perty mouf... I ain't like that... but a girl with a Sexy British mouth full of sharp and crooked teeth, well! Tie me down and bite it hard.

Here's a few close-ups of Kate in the first Underworld. This film has a shitty dark and blurry tone to it, so it's hard to capture the loveliness of Kate in the role that made her famous around the Vampire world.

 

While re-viewing this one I've noticed that they didn't have enough Kate in it. That's always been a big problem with these Underworld films... well, this one and the third anyways.

After this first film pretty much secured her as a total vampyric badass, Kate got more time to kick ass in the sequel and then get her own one hour 3D music video after the rights were secured for the franchise. Yay.

I think it's great that Kate got this opportunity to get a character and go off with it. Though, circumstances may have been weird from time to time...

Sometimes you just gotta cut that foreskin off and let the motherfucker go.

Go ask Alice... if she Spits or Swallows!?

I'm a sick motherfucker, you know that? And I ain't even too utterly buzzed yet. I was disputing that above title against "Kate Beckinsale in Pigtails"... but man, ya know, what can I say? I'm seriously disturbed in the brain. The ladies like it? New York Ripper style toejob to the vag, that's my subtlety. -_- Plus, I started off the last four posts with Kate's name so I thought I'd mix it up a bit.

Obligatory O-Face to start things off and let's get this party started:

Eat me! Drink me! Anyway you want me!

Alice encounters the Red Queen for the first time and you'll thank me now for not posting the view of her face... no offense to the older English talented old ladies out there, but it's not my thang. I like 'em young, dumb, blind and not so demanding if that's ok. Thaaaaaaanks.

Alice is of course thirsty as shit, seeing as there's no brewery about these parts...

...so the Queen offers her a biscuit! How nice. Is it liquid? Nah. But it soon will be.

Put it in your mouth!

Uh-oh!

 

Oh no! That ain't good...

 But at least it wasn't all over my belly this time around!

She seems happy... but as expected, gets pouty rather quickly. Meh. Grrls. 

But you know how you are, right Girls? Mad one second, astonished the next. Poor pigtails is in Trouble!

But we can count on the pouty look to get her out of this situation. Works every time... right?

Kate Beckinsale steps Through the Looking Glass...

If there were never a more perfect combination in my spankish fantasies, it would be Kate Beckinsale dressed and starring in Alice In Wonderland! I'm freaky like that on a SAH level. And it just so happens that Kate Beckinsale starred in the 1998 UK TV film event named "Alice Through the Looking Glass", and I've got it in my collection. Long before Tim Burton's remake with ol' dark-spot puffy eyed Mia Wasikowska, the lovely and always totally bangin' Kate Beckinsale played an adult version of Alice. While the film may be rather odd, Channel 4, and not exactly the most technically sound in terms of special effects, it's still got a major advantage over the newest rendition: the lovely Kate herself.

While reading this bedtime story to her daughter, Alice begins to drift off and ponder the notion of this fantasy world actually existing. As she looks into the mirror, something strange begins to happen...

As she touches her hand to her strange reflection's, Kate wakes up as Alice...

...looking sexy as all hell in that classic dress!

Noticing that she's now entered a mysteriously peculiar world, AliceKate sets off on an adventure to experience the strange and unusual.

And looks so hot with her hair in her face like that, by the way.

When I originally saw this I thought it was weird to see an adult Alice, but Kate pulls it off in this quirky little picture. Also, I've now become more comfortable with adult Alice after expanding beyond the original novel. Unfortunately the picture quality on this Lion's Gate disc is pure shit... interlaced all to hell, soft and blurry. The softness perhaps was due to the filming materials, but the interlacing truly ruins the picture here, especially as Alice is always moving around so quickly.