December 25, 2013

Dark Horse 4 Elf

Dark Horse 4 elf - Winter Warmer Ale (2013)
Winter Seasonal.
12 fl. oz. / $3.19 USD / 8.75% ABV

About: "A spiced Winter Warmer brewed with nutmeg, clove, allspice and other holiday flavors." Gee fuckin' whiz, thanks for the info there!

Thoughts: 4 elf poured a super dark near-black shade of brown with hardly any light coming though, and only around the top. The dark tan head is filled with various sized bubbles and gloppy in certain areas, so it looked a bit disgusting after I took that photo.

This beer smells great. Before you even get to the heavy malts or hops it's a sensation of chestnuts roasting, sweet cinnamon and sugar spices, loads of nutmeg, some ginger, and the rapid ejaculate from a rather mischievous elf. Smells kinda like a cake or cinnamon roll, but not like a cinnamon roll like the far superior Hoppin' Frog's Frosted Frog. This one smells more like an elvish cupcake. Or a sweet sugar cookie left out for Santa. A dirty cookie no doubt!

Taste is a bit of a strange one. It starts off very malty, lightly spiced, both of those things fight it out. It all falls back to a wonderful aftertaste. There's no hint of booze anywhere. It's got a really dense raisin-bread type vibe to it with a lot of spice that not only shows itself during the drinking, but builds itself up after each gulp. It's like the spice is starting to gang up on the tongue after a while too. This one is pleasant. It could be better when it comes to the malt and bitter department, but for what it is, when the spice hits for that strong moment it's really good. Also it's got no ill tasting aftertaste and is a little bit fun. This is one of those stronger beers where you can really taste the water and base ingredients, and it's all a bit earthy.

Tis simply a winter warmer after all, but a damn fine one compared to some of the others I've had, and mind you I haven't had many. But this one does taste more like a "Christmas ale" more than a "winter warmer" so it's got some points going towards it. Also, that Elf has got a mighty fine curled goatee.

December 23, 2013

Saoirse Ronan and Alexis Bledel nun it up in Violet and Daisy (2011)

The "2011" film Violet and Daisy starts off like any other wet dream I normally have: Saoirse Ronan and Alexis Bledel are dressed as nuns (of course) looking gloriously fuckable, and delivering me pizzas. I answer the door baked out of my mind. I'm in my boxers, a holy shirt, one black sock and my dick's on hard. I look at them, then break the forth wall, winking at who is most surely the Dark Lord. Then they shoot me in the face simultaneously with about thirty-four bullets, since naturally they're assassins, and I don't wake up ever again.

No shit though something like that, but not really like that, actually happened to me back in the day. There was a knock at the door around noon. I was blitz'd out of my skull, high as fuck and thinking about ketchup chips. I walked to the door wearing sagging torn black shorts over my black boxers, one black sock and a black Danzig shirt. See a theme yet? I open the door and see the most hottestest looking 16 year old blonde chick that I've ever laid eyes on in my life. Not only is this girl immaculately beautiful, but she's also dressed like a total slut!

I see her and shoot a fat f'n load in my trousers before playing it off like I'm all good. She sees me, her eyes widen, and her vaginal crease moistens before clenching up. There was seriously like six stages of emotion in her face within that first couple of seconds ranging from initial shock, to humor, to excitement, to forbidden lust, to saddened restraint and then self composure. Then she began to speak to me about god. Yes, damp readers... as it turns out, this girl who looked like a way hotter version of Alicia Silverstone in her prime and on her sluttiest of days, was in fact a "Jehovah's Witness".

I was sickened and appalled, the repugnance in my throbbing balls, pulsating with disgust. While I would like to tell you that I invited her and she sucked my cock like I was the second coming that day, that alas, did not happen. I was actually so incredibly turned off by her overly-practiced recital that I simply told her that I was not interested and slammed the door in her face. Her gorgeous, glitter covered, pouty-lipped, wide-eyed, not-so-seemingly-innocent looking face. I hated myself for doing so, but I was so offended by the words that came out of her mouth.

I probably should have dragged her inside and delivered some payback. She most likely would have been offended by what went in to her mouth. But then again, probably not. I made a foolish mistake by letting her escape that day. Oh hey! Were you aware that I've got a "thing" for Saoirse Ronan? I mean, come on, "The Lovely Bones" anyone? This is the part where I say that it'd be lovely to bone her with my thing, or something like that, but what kind of childish perverted guy do you think I am huh!?

December 16, 2013

My glassware and coaster collection.

Figured I'd share some photos of my glass collection, thus far.

Clockwise: A Three Philosophers mini-goblet I got with an Ovila dubbel bomber (free w/ bottle), a St. Bernardus goblet (gift set), a large Tripel Karmeliet snifter (gift set), a large Piraat snifter (free w/ bottle), a Fantome snifter ($9.00, the glass wasn't price tagged and I hit the register already with $60 worth of beer so fuck it, right?), a Lucifer goblet ($3.00) and a Mad Elf goblet (gift set). 

A Samuel Adams "perfect pint" glass ($3.00), an Allagash tulip (free w/ bottle), a Shock Top Pumpkin Wheat Pilsner glass (free w/ 6 pack), an Ommegang company logo tulip (gift set) [this is my second Ommegang glass, my first one which was more shapely and had gold trim around the top broke at the stem when my nephew's sippy cup fall on it from the cabinet], the Dogfish Head "Spiegelau" IPA glass ($6.00), an Innis and Gunn tulip (gift set) and a mini Ommegang pils-style taster ($5 charity donation at Julio's tasting).

A Smuttynose Logo pint (free w/ six pack), Stone logo pint ($3.00), Southern Tier logo pint (free w/ six pack), Dogfish Head logo pint (free w/ bottle), Magic Had Wacko pint (free w/ six pack), Wachusett Pumpkan can shaped glass ($5.00 from brewery), and a Bacardi Oakheart mug ($1.00). 

Sierra Nevada Glissade pint ($3.00), Sierra Nevada Ruthless Rye pint (Valentine's Day gift from Bartender), Sierra Nevada logo pint ($3.00), Shipyard Pumpkinhead (free w/ 12 pack), Shipyard Applehead ($1.00). Not pictured: My two Cambridge Brewing 2012 Pumpkin Festival Glasses, my massive Stone Arrogant Bastard flute that I have to keep in a separate shelf and totally forgot about, my second Sam Adams "perfect pint" glass, my Friday the 13'th glass, my Winged Skull TapOut glass, and a few whiskey and shot glasses.

My favorite glasses are the Lucifer goblet and Pumpkan cup, as well as all the new shit in that very top photo (apart from the Three Philosophers glass that's pretty much only a taster glass and too small for real beer pours). I'm sure once I get my hands on a Pumking goblet that'll become my favorite though. I've had my eyes on a few other cups, and held a few that I ended up not caving on. I'm trying not to collect any more pint glasses unless it's something that I really want like a Sierra Nevada Celebration that I was denied when I found it at a small liquor store and "not for sale". Fuckin' bitch. But anyways...

Here's the front and back of some of the coasters that I've acquired over the last year and decided to save.

December 13, 2013


AleSmith EVIL DEAD RED Ale (2013)
Brewed and Bottled by AleSmith Brewing Company in San Diego, CA. USA.
Autumn Seasonal Brew.
22 fl. oz. / $7.49 USD / 6.66% ABV

About: "Each Halloween we release this special concoction to celebrate one of our favorite holidays. Deep blood-red in color, an intense aroma of pine and citrus from an abundance of American hops balances the sweetness and rich, bready flavors of this beer's caramel malts. The result is a fiendishly smooth brew that will make your taste buds scream with delight. This beer pairs excellently with toffee, caramel apples, or your favorite horror flick."

Thoughts: Evil Dead Red? Lemme get a Hell Yeah! Bottled on 9/10/13. Drank 11/2/13. Zombeer poured a rusty as all fuck "blood red" color with a yellowed frothy cap on top. The beer is almost clear despite looking so damn murky in that fucked up overexposed photo above, and carbonation seems light.

At first whiff this beer comes off as a total malt bomb. It's deep, rich and just damn hella malty son. But upon leaning in for a second take the citrusy and slightly piney hops start to bleed through. It's also really syrupy smelling with a touch of fallen leaves. Ain't that nice.

The taste is big and boisterous. It's very malt heavy but the hops are pronounced at the same time. There seems to be quite a good balance on this sucker. It starts off a little syrupy sweet but gives way to a bit of a grungy bitterness. It gets a bit earthy and grassy on the back of the tongue. It's got a little bit of a cola like quality to it as well, like a store brand cola or Dr. Pepper, but it's very much a beer. Sweet and Bitter both hit their marks at the exact same degree. Nothing is overly dominant here, and to describe the main taste of this beer would be like a soft grassy, resonating peppery, and heavy bready malted blast of middle ground goodness.

After a while it starts to taste kinda like a ash. ;) This one could have been a bit more Evil... and a little less Dead. Aight?

December 12, 2013

ACE Hard Pumpkin Cider

California Cider Co. ACE Hard Pumpkin Cider (2013)
Brewed and Bottled by California Cider Company in Sebastopol, CA. USA
Autumn Seasonal.
12 fl. oz. / $2.69 / 5% ABV

About: "We first made this cider three years ago in 2010. It has become extremely popular since then. We add cinnamon, cloves and allspice to fermented apple juice to produce a 5 percent cider which tastes like pumpkin pie. It is orange in color with a full rich taste that makes you want more. We carbonate the cider, cold- filter it four times before we bottle and keg it. This cider is released after Labor Day and is ideal for Halloween through Thanksgiving; although some customers think we should make it year round. It is the first Pumpkin cider to be made out West. One word for ACE PUMPKIN, delicious!"

Thoughts: I want apple drink! It's greeeeeeen.

Imagine that shit, if a pumpkin was an actual suit in cards. Because fuck hearts, that's why. ACE poured a golden orange / green looking type of color with lots of bubbles from the pour that popped away quickly.

Smells pretty sweet. Like custard actually... interesting ...with a heap-load of nutmeg on top. It's sugary apples and soft cooked pumpkin. There's a hint of cinnamon spice in there too.

It's got a sensation that hits you right in the cheeks. That's the first gulp of a cider for ya. It's an extremely sweet cider compared to others I have tried. It's almost like jolly rancher candy, though not one exact flavor, but like a mix of apple and watermelon. I don't think there's any real pumpkin in here. It's not on the label at least, only "natural flavor" is mentioned. This doesn't taste like straight up apple cider though. The allspice that they put in here, though subtle, is a really nice addition. It could use some pumpkin spice though. Apart from being sweet and tasting pretty good, there's not really a lot going on here. There's hardly any aftertaste at all, as it fades very cleanly.

It leaves a sugary slick film around the teeth. Not really into this one. No ACE in the (pie) hole. that's for sure. This one could have used a hell of a lot more cinnamon, and hell, even some smokey clove. I bet this would pair well with a Djarum cigarette, at least giving it what it's missing.

December 11, 2013

New Brews and Brew News.

I still remember the first time I tried Mad Elf ale. It was quite the perplexing experience. Mad Elf of course is a very unique brew with an interesting malt bill combination, European hops and spicy Belgian yeast. Brewed with sweet and sour cherries and coming in at 11% abv, not only is it incredibly strong, but also very tart.

The first time I had it was a three pack I picked up in December 2011, and believe me I wasn't ready for it. Later in 2012 I found two singles and things went a little better. When I found a six pack on sale for half price earlier this year, I took it home and fell in lust with it. My tastes have obviously evolved since I began drinking and reviewing so many funky beers. I enjoyed the six bottles so much that I decided when I see that box set with the snifter glass again around Christmas-time that I'd buy it. Which is precisely what I did.

Years ago I didn't have much of a range in terms of what beers I chose to drink. Basically, I mainly drank total shit beer. Miller Genuine Draft and King Cobra for the most part, rounded out by the occasional Red Wolf. Aside from that I mostly drank hard liquor after getting Chinese-eyed: Goldschläger, Hot Damn! (including the dastardly Hot Damn 100!) and when I was feeling especially raunchy, some Old f'n Crow. I didn't drink much actual beer back then so I was open to grabbing a six pack of Sierra Nevada Celebration once or twice a year, some Bigfoot, Pale Ale, Pete's Wicked Ale, or even some Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat for a treat. 

After getting a seriously shit job I found myself drowning my sorrows in endless twelve packs of Natural Ice after work nearly each day. It was a pretty horrid situation, and one which lasted a long time actually... but you'll be most likely apathetic to know that those times are over. Though my job still sucks, things are far more tolerable since I'm "in charge" now and I'll have you know that I still actually do enjoy the occasional Natty Ice. I think it's been about a year since I had a can actually. But I've never actually had anything against the beer, in fact I prefer it to any American Adjunct Lager mainstays of the popular rube culture. By the looks of things however, I'm most likely never going to touch the stuff again. I'm all done buying shit beers. It's just not worth it. Also, I've cut back my drinking dramatically in the past few months and have taken to only serious and worthy purchases for my weekend relax time.

I had a revelation a while back, when drinking a bottle of Celebration actually, and thought about how long it had been since I bought and drank that beer. Why had it been so long? Why haven't I been buying these beers that I've enjoyed in the past? Perhaps I was being a cheap bastard. I may not be rich, but I deserve better. I deserve to enjoy the beers I drink while on my way to getting shitfaced into oblivion. By then my pathway to new and exciting beer had already started, as this was around the time I just finished up my very first set of brew reviews - a slew of pumpkin beers beginning with what was then and has remained to this day my all time favorite: Pumking. It was then when I made a conscious decision to mostly drink beers that I've never tried before.

The wide array of beers I've drank in the last two years has been pretty spectacular, at least for me. In fact, I've consumed well over 500 different beers. Not every beer was great, in fact, I find most beers to be rather average. It's not often I find a beer that I would consider gross, and a lot of the time I've found the beers that I've reviewed to be interesting and fun to drink. I'm never going to stop drinking new beers, but I'm not going to go review crazy with everything I try. I've been merging some of my past reviews and will be posting two and sometimes three-in-ones by company if I feel like it. I've tried to keep things focused on certain breweries, special releases, some beers with horror influences and other beers that just plain interest me. Pumpkin and Christmas beers will have their own individual reviews, as will beers that are just too special to share space.

Despite always trying new beers from now on, I'm still sticking to a few old favorites on a rotating basis. Just this year I drank two cases of Hoptimum, 87 bottles of Bigfoot, a case of Pumking, several six packs of Wachusett Larry in cans, and made 22oz Torpedo singles a regular. I'm looking forward to Sucks in 32oz bottles if that ever comes around, and if it's at a decent price that one will be taking up space in my fridge. I'm going to be finally venturing into Trappist ales and a lot more Belgians. From now on I'm not going to hesitate on buying something special that I'll end up never seeing again either. I've held treasure in my hands more than once and didn't bite the bullet, and now it taunts me ever so! I'd rather not get into it... but that includes splurging on a gift set, or buying a bottle with a free glass and perhaps some other extras when the opportunity presents itself. 

My appreciation for beer has grown, my tastes and palate have evolved, I'm fairly sure I'm not a snob (aside from snickering to myself whenever I see some dumb schmuck or skank buying a 30 pack of Bud Light - like, erryday), and I don't purposely try to act like a dick about things - that just comes naturally. Whether or not the mindset I've got at present time continues to thrive or changes down the road, well, we'll just have to see. Till then, I'm going to keep exploring the wide world of hopefully not too much mediocre beer.

December 8, 2013

Timmermans Pumpkin Lambicus

Timmermans Pumpkin Lambicus - Beer with Natural Flavors added (2013)
Brewed and Bottled for Anthony Martin by Timmermans Brewery in Itterbeek, Belgium.
Limited Fall Release.
25.36 fl. oz. / $12.29 USD / 4% ABV

About: "Two traditions are brought together here in a unique complacency, namely an original succulence never tempted before. The result is sublime, liberating a graceful taste tinted by a controlled acidity on the lambic confused with the dry fruity of the pumpkin and the discreet sugar added. By crossing the middle of the mouth appears a taste of brown sugar remembering and accentuating the convivial touch of Halloween."  Great description.

Thoughts: "Produced on 7/24/13" Drank on 11/27/13.

Poured a deep golden orange with a soft white head that faded rather quickly. Carbonation seems a bit heavy, but not overly abundant.

This stuff smells amazing. It's not in your face strong or anything, but it smells like Pumking's little brother or something. There's a ton of cinnamon and pumpkin spice running through this. Very nice.

First gulp and this one already has my seal of approval. It hits you first with a sour kick which lasts all the way through the beer and right after the swallow there's a blast of that pumpkin spice and then a really beautiful, clean malt bill that tastes like liquefied graham crackers. Very tasty for a 4%er. The malts hide of course under the heavy sour notes, but when it falls back on it it's really a perfect accompaniment. There's tons of cinnamon everywhere and I really couldn't have asked for much more in this one.

Mouth feel is a little watery, but slick and leaves a thin oily film. It puffs up a little bit but finished dry and crisp. I do wish this one was a little stronger, just for the hell of it, but as it stands this is one fine tasting pumpkin brew.

December 1, 2013

21stA and Elysian He Said He Said

21'st Amendment and Elysian HE SAID Baltic Style Porter - Lager brewed with Pumpkin and Spices (2013)
Limited Release / Collaboration Brew.
24 fl oz. (2 cans) / $6.98 USD (1/2 the 4 pack) / 8.2% ABV

About: "I met Shaun in 1999. He walked into my Seattle pub, came over to me and said he'd always wanted to meet the Pumpkin King. Later on, while hatching a plan to colonize a planet entirely devoted to pumpkin and watermelon, I invited him to my massive pumpkin fest. Ten years later, Shaun asked if the invitation still stood. I punched him in the ribs and said yes. After some cajolery, Shaun and Nico begged me to do a pumpkin collaboration as soon as possible. I said we should brew a pumpkin beer like no other. A Baltic Porter with caraway and cinnamon in a light colored can. Courage!

Hops: German Northern Brewer, Styrian Golding / Yeast: German Lager Yeast / Malts: 2-row, Carafa II, Cara-Vienne, Dark Munich, Carafa III / Special Ingredients: Pumpkin Puree, Pumpkin Juice, Vietnamese Cinnamon, Caraway Seed."

Thoughts: Canned on 9/9/13. Drank 11/9/13. This one poured a seriously dark brown that's bordering on opaque black. The slightest hint of light comes through. The head was tan, huge, fluffed out and left the beer relatively clean. 

Smells pretty strong, and it is kinda pumpkiny. Smells like a cold pumpkin coffee without the sugar. It's pretty raw smelling. You can tell that there's spices in there, mostly a ginger like substance, but it's making the scent a little bit weird. It's got a weird fruitiness to it and kind of smells like an extinguished half smoked cigarette. Or even like the inside of a jack-o-lantern after you've had a candle burning in there all night. Raw, smoky, and a little funky.

The taste starts off just like the scent with that fruity gourd, then a ton of spice hits the mouth for a couple seconds before receding and letting that smokey dinginess have its way. There's really hardly any bitterness to this which is nice, so I suppose they didn't have to go absurdly crazy with the spices, wut-evur! It's pretty sweet for the most part, and a few seconds into the gulp it hits with a really sweet bang before getting softer. It's a bit cola like as well. A hint of grassy hops comes through about halfway and the cinnamon gets stronger as the beer warms. 

I really wish the spices were a bit more pronounced. Also, this one could use some Belgian candy sugar or brown sugar even. It's a thickly built beer as it stands though, for a lager I mean. While it's good, it leaves just a little bit to be desired, but maybe I'm just nitpicking about porters again. There's a nice boozy tone that really helps the beer along which is much appreciated. In the end it tastes like a mix of a Chirstmas beer and an Pumpkin brew.

21'st Amendment and Elysian HE SAID Belgian Style Tripel - Ale brewed with Pumpkin and Spices (2013)
Limited Release / Collaboration Brew. 
24 fl oz. (2 cans) / $6.98 USD (1/2 the 4 pack) / 8.2% ABV

About: "I met Dick in 2010. He walked into our San Francisco pub, came over to Nico and me and said he'd always wanted to meet the watermelon guys. Later on, while I was knocking his block off at Rock'em Sock'em robots, Dick mentioned his little pumpkin fest and suggested we attend. One year later, Dick asked me again. Then he kicked me in the shins until I said yes. After drinking the pumpkin elixirs, I told Dick we should do a pumpkin collaboration sometime. I said we should brew a pumpkin beer like no other. A Belgian Tripel with spices in a dark colored can that's as big time as it gets.

Hops: German Northern Brewer, US Golding, Sterling / Yeast: Trappist Ale Yeast / Malts: 2-row, Aromatic, Belgian Candi Sugar / Special Ingredients: Pumpkin Puree, Pumpkin Juice, Galangal, Tarragon."

Thoughts: This one poured a really cloudy golden yellow with a very white head full of small bubbles that popped away super quick and left this one headless as a whore'sman.

Mmmm... soapy water. Man, you gotta love Trappist Ale Yeast. The stuff is wondrous. This is so perfumy. Is perfumy a word? The one smells pretty tame. The peppery yeast dominates for the most part, and if you hadn't told me that this was brewed with pumpkins I probably would have only suspected. Smells good though.

Nice fumes with that first gulp. The taste on this one is soft, sweet, crisp, mild, and features a smooth almost cider-like quality to it. Alcohol strength is evident, but comes and goes. It's got a nice spice profile and is pretty tingly whenever you take another sip. Then there's the quick bite followed by a gentle haze that takes  a while to ride out. Doesn't really taste all that much like pumpkin beer per se, but you can taste the natural pumpkin in there that they brewed with. Alcohol becomes more evident as it warms and it gets a bit tart, like sour apples.

This one is a bit light for my tastes. It tastes similar to the other HE SAID, but that's only a few of the base ingredients and based on the fact it's all made by the same dudes. These were cool to try but I don't think I'd pick this up again. The artwork is kinda weirding me out as well. Got two cans left and I'm going to try mixing them against my better judgment. 

The Baltic Porter pretty much takes over everything scent wise and taste wise as well. I guess you can't do a straight 50/50 mix with these two because it ends up being 90/10 in the end. Lifting the cans for the second time around and I find out I actually poured about one third the Baltic Porter and two thirds the Belgian Tripel and still the porter took over. The mix doesn't taste half bad, but it hasn't improved on either one of the beers individually. It tastes a lot less like that Trappist yeast and a lot more like a blend of meh. It's all good for two beers as well as two beers mixed into one, but either or all three ways, it's still missing something special that just pops. My interest feigns, much like that of the reader's of this blog.

November 28, 2013

How I dress my little goblin.

Is there a reason why all baby clothes completely suck ass? Seriously, have you guys even seen any of this shit!? "Don't make me call Grandma", "I'm cute like Mommy", and "I text and drive just like Mommy when she ran over Grandma." Fucked up shit, man. It's bad enough that adult clothes are 90% garbage, but this cringe-worthy bullshit is just embarrassing to look at. Are the people who come up with the designs on these things the same people who write the shit on those $1 birthday cards or what?

Something has got to change when it comes to all this cutesy shit. And since creating Evil Baby Clothes isn't something I plan on doing anytime in the near future, I figure that I'll just have to be a good parent and be selective with what I buy my little dude. My son is going to wear cool (ghoul) shit... and some nerd gear too, because that's what his dad would do. My face lit up when I first saw the full body skeleton suit, but leave it up to my ghoulish goo to go completely insane over the Pumpkin Butt pajamas.

He'll be drinking pumpkin beers by the age of fifteen... you just watch!

November 23, 2013

Photos of the Synapse DEMONS and DEMONS 2 Blu-rays.

I'm so excited that I could puke! I opened the mailbox with a desperate anticipation once again to day, but this time, there is no disappointment setting in, oh no... because I finally received the Blu-ray Combos of two of my very favorite films of all time, Demons and Demons 2, released by one of my favorite DVD companies, Synapse Films. I have yet to view either of the four discs yet, but the packaging looks incredible. On top of all the hard work that the guys over at Synapse did, they also included these totally awesome insert cards for both films. The first is the infamous Metropol movie ticket, in shimmering gold no less(!), and the second is a bloody invitation to Sally's fucking birthday party! You gotta love that. Each case also came with a  2013 Synapse catalog booklet. Both steelbooks were sealed and individually encased nicely in bubble-wrap. 

Front and Back of both Steelbooks:

 Demons full cover, inner case and insert card:

Demons 2 full cover, inner case and insert card:

Tech specs:

I'm so glad they included the US English dub that I grew up with. I never really liked the International English version all that much. It'll be great to finally throw out that old VHS dupe from back in the day and to be able to watch this in far better condition with the voice-overs I know and lust. If you need me, I'll be cracking open a bottle of Ommegang's Game of Thrones Take the Black Stout and enjoying a night of Demons! Later haters.

My words are my own and as of posted from their creation forward I hereby claim originality to them. Pictures may prove to be promotional items and are the sole possessions of their respectful owners and/or companies. I do not sell, nor do I buy. I only rent, so therefore, nothing I own is truly mine.