Dakota Fanning feels the PAIN in Twilight: Part 5 (2012)

Jane, Jane, Jane... you little bitch. You totally and utterly, completely and agonizingly hot, little bitch. Oh, how I've always wanted to feel the PAIN. I welcome the PAIN. I thrive for the PAIN! Unholy fucking hell, here I am begging for that sweet, sweet PAIN. Lay it on me baby. Lay on me and then lay it on me... just give me that look and you'll witness the PAIN of enormous amounts of semen exiting the opening of my dick, which will amount to so much liquid pleasure that it'll rip the tip of my cock open and blood will spill about... blood you will hopefully drink as I lay there dying with a smile on my face.

Baby? You don't seem amused. I suppose that would probably freak you out. A smile, I mean. Obviously with your flawless and not to mention totally hot beauty, you've never smiled a day in your damned life... most likely since smiling causes wrinkles, or so they say. But you're a goddess of a vamp so that shouldn't matter, oh, and did I mention that I'd slit my wrists just to have you want my blood in your mouth. I'm totally that desperate! Jane, I never wanted you to die. I wanted you to win the Twilight Games. I was jerking for you the whole time my darkling.

But I guess thing don't always go your way... no matter how much PAIN you afflict on your desired targets.

Out of all the multiple times I've seen every Twilight film in the cinema (picking up chicks hasn't been so easy since  so many mom's eyeballs got glued to Jacob's undressing wolf-weiner), never has there been more of an insane reaction from every single person in the place than when Jane laid a shit her Gothic dress, finally showed some fear in her face, ran away, and then got her bitch ass handed to her. 

The place blew the roof off when she showed that look of fear and ran away. My first thought was 'who would have thought that Jane was so hated by the entire female community?' and the second thought was *racist comments*. With all the shouts of "Die bitch!" from the twelve year old white girls and their moms I didn't know what to think. But I guess the hatred for Jane runs deep, no matter where the reader and/or watcher is from. People fucking hate this chick.

I'd just lay it all down as Jealousy. I guess if you hated her in the books, later seeing her as portrayed by the immaculate Dakota Fanning would cause extreme rage among all the cute, virgin and/or goblin girls of this day and age. Then again, who the fuck would want to be Bella when you could be Jane? Personally, I could take my pick of both at the same time... but that's a whole different sexual matter altogether. ;) 

PAIN!

Chloë Grace Moretz hits Puberty in Dark Shadows (2012)

Guess who just turned sweet sixteen today. That's right, Chloë Grace Moretz, the phenomenal young actress who's been splashing red stuff around the horror genre and making waves... of blood, that is. Chloë is one of those "smart beyond her years" young starlets of film, much akin to Dakota Fanning or AnnaSophia Robb, only much, much more grumbly and sultry. Both she and Dakota have played vampires in films thus far, so it looks like we're waiting on AnnaSophia to quit making bullshit like the Carrie Diaries *vomit* and get fangin'!

Until then, here are a few screenshots of this enchanting, pouty princess as Carolyn in Tim Burton's abysmal feature film "Dark Shadows". While the movie wasn't much of anything special, it did have its moments. One moment in particular is Chloë wearing this collar-like choker. G-r-owl.

She's so moody. I think you know what that means. ;)

Moody and Furry. The perfect combination.

That's right. She's a Werewolf. "Deal with it!"  Or something.

Eric finally unwraps his very special present!

It's always the best feeling when you open something new that you've always wanted.

And ripping a box open never felt so good!

"You know what I like best about Christmas? The surprises. I mean, it's like you get this box and you're sure you know what's inside of it. You know. You shake it, you weight it, you're totally convinced you have it pegged. No doubt in your mind. But then you open it up and it's completely different. You know. Wow, bang, surprise!"

But with that moon in the sky, who wants to be alone?

And when the blood drips so red, who wants to be alone?

 Right next to me, You'll want to be... till the sun comes up.

 Despite being revealed to be an evil conniving motherfucker, you can still see a bit of sadness in Bill's eyes when he busts in on Sookie about to let Eric totally fuck her silly. 

All sorts of crazy shit went down leading up to this, but did I after this confrontation ever imagine that Bill would just stand aside (silently weeping in the night) as Eric and Sookie boned in the woods? I guess even with all his new found power, he's still simply powerless over matters of the heart.