Lucy Lawless goes Braless in Spartacus: Blood and Sand (2010)

I just couldn't resist that title. ;) So today is Lucy's 46'th birthday, and buy gawd, 46 has never looked so incredibly fucking hot may I just politely say! Though I never really watched much Xena, at least never a full episode of the show, I had always been aware of Lucy Lawless and the sexual attraction I felt for her during my later teenage years. The Xena character never really "did it for me", but the actress herself had gained much attention for the role and seeing her in interviews and in the media I found her to be incredibly edibly... uhh, edible. She's definitely gotten hotter with age. Though she most surely bathes in milk baths, I'm certain that the blood of several virgins have somehow been integrated in there as well in order to keep her youthful appearance. And I'm not talkin' bout the blood of those X-Files watching Nerdgins (virgin nerds) who've offered themselves as sacrifice either.

In the "Spartacus" television series from Starz, Lucy plays a malicious, sadistic and totally cock hungry bitch named Lucretia who tortures every man and woman around her whom she deems lower than she. They are her toys, her slaves and more importantly, her sexual servants! Hot damn I'm getting wet just thinking about it. Here she speaks to her chocolate skinned clit-rubber (that's the job description I'm pretty sure) about the cock of Crixus, one she's been constantly ravishing for some time. Though her servant Naevia and Crixus are secretly in love, she must hold her tongue and listen. Well, until her tongue is required and demanded to come into play that is.

What fate does the sweet vag of Mira (Katrina Law) bestow upon one lucky enough to... hey wait a minute. This chick's last name is Law?! That's some freakish...ly hot stuff right there. The Lawless, ordering the Law what to do. I like that. And in this case, ordering her to go Fuck! And she better fuck good, oh yes, because if she doesn't there will be a hellfire burning redder than the wig on her Reina's head! Shit, I'm surprised that her eyes aren't glowing red in that below screenshot there. She's most surely got something sinister tucked up her sleeve. And since she's completely nude I think you know what I mean when I say "sleeve".

 Whatever Lucretia's plotting, by the look on her face, it must be deliciously Evil! 

Happy birthday Lucy. And happy birthday to those big sexy nipples of yours.

Emilia Clarke gets Manhandled in Game of Thrones (2011)

When Daenerys Targaryen got basically bent over and sold to Khal Drogo by her totally gay brother Viserys, she was petrified at the thought of this monstrous looking fucker completely ravaging her with his dominating rage-filled lust and muscular physique. ;) After all, this scary looking bastard is a brute savage and could easily just rip her beautiful head off during violent sex. One can only hope to see such things, right?

Vaginal Viserys walks his sexy sister out to The Great One and parades her soft supple titty-nipples up as an offering of "good faith" to ensure a deal that he will hopefully soon become a King among peasants, with Drogo's powerful reinforcements of course. "You get to rape my sister daily and forever, as long as you help me conquer the land" is pretty much what the fuck this frilly fool's plan is. Khal Drogo knows what's up, of course, but this man is not one to pass up the most easily breakable deal of a lifetime... especially when it's all in his favor. 

Don't look so shocked honey-pie! 

I wear make-up too.

Blondie's brother however, would have never expected the golden shower crown of cum he'd receive at the end of it all. But man was I glad to see that prissy little shit get halo'd. Dude really pissed me off hardcore. If that was my sister I never would have done what he did! Fuck, I would have kept her all to myself to molest. But whatever, I relate more with Khal anyways. At least when it comes to being a scary ass motherfucker who doesn't talk and likes to be scary and not talk with horrified hotties standing around being horrified and hot that is.

So then we come to the good part. The sun is setting on their wedding night, and man is it one f'n romantic scene. They're standing at the ocean, the two of them alone, and things start getting hot n' heavy. The little blonde girl is crying, just the way I like it, and the animalistic predator is circling her like prey to be feasted upon! Now... If you feel an intense and crushing sexual wetness down below, just take a second to realize that this only means that you are a sane human being.

Though the scene cuts short unfortunately at around the moment Beast restrains the Beauty's arms and holds her tightly by the neck, it was still rather gratifying in mine eyes as I felt these moments more than worthy to post upon my humble blog. This kind of stuff is what I'm all about. I'll leave you now with a final image of what I consider to be the sexiest out of the whole post. Check that out! If that doesn't tickle your junk then you're not in the same realm mentally as your old pal Drunketh.

Emilia Clarke takes a sizzling bath in Game of Thrones (2011)

When I first started watching Game of Thrones, this incredibly sultry hot blonde named Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) showed up and the first thought that entered my brain was "holy fuck... I hope she get naked!" C'mon, you know me. What else would you expect? With that forlorn, destitute look on her face I could only imagine the sensual tear-shedding leg-spreading bet-wetting sessions that were in store. Sadness, of course, is and has always been my favorite starting point. So needless to say, I was a little more than excited. 

It was that very moment when her brother walked into the "Virginal Bathing Room" and began to molest his dearest sister, much to my twisted delight! "Awww sheit" I said to myself, "...here we go!"  Yes indeed, there he is sizing her up but for some reason not enjoying it (he's obviously from the House of Flames, if you know what I mean - la-de-da!). He wants to pawn his 'dumb bitch of a sister' off to some neanderthal for his own personal gain of course, but that's all politics and I'm not here to discuss such matters.

No, I'm here to discuss titties!

That's right Daenerys... don't look so surprised. 

"My titties?" She asks while looking up at me with those sweet little titties...

"Yes." I reply to the cute little voice in my head as I walk away to masturbate alone.

Then this weird thing happens where she steps into this steaming hot bath that could easily peel the flesh off of any normal human, and she doesn't even blink. Since I don't know what's going on yet with the series at this point I just assume that she's just some fucking sadomasochistic, post-traumatic molesting-brother hypnotic-induced empty-soul pain-freak!!1? But *spoiler alert*, it turns out that she's just hot... under the collar! ;) If you know wh

Stay tuned next time for more Titties and Beer right here on Titties and Beer, the site that obsesses over titties while beer is consumed while titties are looked at while drinking beer is drunk. Will there be more to come from sweet little Emilia? You bet your sweet little huge beer covered titties and blonde wig there will be. Will I actually focus on my artistic craft instead of just taking snapshots of hot girl's titties? You just keep clicking that update in your reading list to find out! But if you don't see tits, blood or beer... then perhaps I've officially lost my brain. In that case you should call your nearest embalmer, embed the last pic I posted into my retinas 4 Flies style and rest my hands on my cock. Just in case.

Marion Cotillard goes for a swim in Rust and Bone (2012)

When Stéphanie (Marion Cotillard) got her legs bitten off by a Killer Whale (!!1), she never would have expected to find a soul-mate in fellow tortured soul (and previously disregarded piece of trash / knight in off-white satin) Alain (Matthias Schoenaerts). But I guess it goes to show. For a woman who used her immaculate beauty to fuck with, belittle and cock-tease guys at bars up until the point where they would straight-up punch her in the fucking face, this dude did nothing more than step up and protect her. It was his job at the time, granted. He wanted that sweet pussy, granted. He didn't get none, due to her living with her abusive boyfriend. Granted?

It was just another night and she was acting like another (pretend high-end) bitch as usual. But perhaps there was a bit more to this guy than just wanting to F to teh UCK! He's got problems. She's got problems. He noticed something wrong, gave her his number and left. She kept it, and I guess that's an admirable slut feature, but she never called him while she was out taunting the crowds with her succulent titties. Though I guess getting your legs bitten off by ORCA and having everyone around you just fuckin' disappear with the quickness afterwards makes a once-hot chick totally desperate. Thus the white knight got that fateful call, a couple months after our dashing lady had been bed-ridden and without feets.

But our man remained the man that he is, whether right or wrong or both, and stayed true to himself no matter the case. He didn't treat her like a cripple. When he saw her again, for the first time it seemed, he treated her just like he had treated her that fateful night... and actually, a bit worse (if you're sentimental). Which is understandable! She was being totally narcissistic and had to be tamed somehow. But our guy here isn't perfect, far from it, and he's not an egotist, no way. He's attracted to this chick and things are weird all around no matter what, so he's just going to do what he does best and that's let the person around him be comfortable. Stéphanie has a bit of trouble (no pun) stepping into her new skin, but that doesn't stop Alain from not giving a fuck after she refuses to go into the ocean with him for a swim.

He goes anyways, after delivering a "psshh" before he struts off. When he comes back, Stéph comes to her senses and decides to go in for a dip. Once she gets in the water our hero lets her free and she waddles around while he goes back on the sand to get some rest. This is just one of the instances where Alain doesn't let her new found handicap get in her way or stop her from doing what she should be. It's a very admirable trait from a (disputably) not so admirable human being, and it's delivered with raw honesty and a positive attitude. All despite them not really knowing each other... yet. Both of these lost souls however suspect, or come to the realization rather, that they know each other a lot more than they let on. As an added convenience, both of them are deeply flawed individuals and as it turns out, they balance one another out in a raw, grimy and sadly euphoric sort of way.

Not to say that she was the only desperate one... they both are, obviously. That's what "life" does to a person. Especially a person who doesn't know what path they're on, should be and/or never will, which is everybody. But let us not dwell. There's a moral to this story I think, and that's to roll with the punches... and uh, Killer Whale bites(?) ...and just live your mundane life to the fullest. I suppose forming bonds is a rather difficult thing. Were we as humans meant to select another, provide and protect? Or were we made to run rampant and fuck everything that moves (or lays still for a while)? Little bit of both? Since the dawn of time, man has tried to have everything.

Years ago, I was told the story of a man who went around the world stealing rare pussy. For each precious pussy gathered his legend grew stronger. Everyone from each of the villages and towns nearby searched far and wide (no pun) for that missing pussy, but couldn't find it. One day, a small boy was wandering along by the river and found several dead bodies of hot chicks. It turns out that our rapist was just going around thrashing grrrls up and laying waste to their corpses in the lake. This man had no intention of collecting PYT's and displaying them for his own ego. He simply did not give a fuck. The point of the story Dear Reader, is that some guys just want to watch their cocks burn. I really only posted these pics for wet t-shirt nipple pics. Hope you enjoyed the words though. ;)