March 24, 2013

Dakota Fanning feels the PAIN in Twilight: Part 5 (2012)

Jane, Jane, Jane... you little bitch. You totally and utterly, completely and agonizingly hot, little bitch. Oh, how I've always wanted to feel the PAIN. I welcome the PAIN. I thrive for the PAIN! Unholy fucking hell, here I am begging for that sweet, sweet PAIN. Lay it on me baby. Lay on me and then lay it on me... just give me that look and you'll witness the PAIN of enormous amounts of semen exiting the opening of my dick, which will amount to so much liquid pleasure that it'll rip the tip of my cock open and blood will spill about... blood you will hopefully drink as I lay there dying with a smile on my face.

Baby? You don't seem amused. I suppose that would probably freak you out. A smile, I mean. Obviously with your flawless and not to mention totally hot beauty, you've never smiled a day in your damned life... most likely since smiling causes wrinkles, or so they say. But you're a goddess of a vamp so that shouldn't matter, oh, and did I mention that I'd slit my wrists just to have you want my blood in your mouth. I'm totally that desperate! Jane, I never wanted you to die. I wanted you to win the Twilight Games. I was jerking for you the whole time my darkling.

But I guess thing don't always go your way... no matter how much PAIN you afflict on your desired targets.

Out of all the multiple times I've seen every Twilight film in the cinema (picking up chicks hasn't been so easy since  so many mom's eyeballs got glued to Jacob's undressing wolf-weiner), never has there been more of an insane reaction from every single person in the place than when Jane laid a shit her Gothic dress, finally showed some fear in her face, ran away, and then got her bitch ass handed to her. 

The place blew the roof off when she showed that look of fear and ran away. My first thought was 'who would have thought that Jane was so hated by the entire female community?' and the second thought was *racist comments*. With all the shouts of "Die bitch!" from the twelve year old white girls and their moms I didn't know what to think. But I guess the hatred for Jane runs deep, no matter where the reader and/or watcher is from. People fucking hate this chick.

I'd just lay it all down as Jealousy. I guess if you hated her in the books, later seeing her as portrayed by the immaculate Dakota Fanning would cause extreme rage among all the cute, virgin and/or goblin girls of this day and age. Then again, who the fuck would want to be Bella when you could be Jane? Personally, I could take my pick of both at the same time... but that's a whole different sexual matter altogether. ;) 


1 comment:

Unknown said...

I like what u wrote i am a really bit Jane fan and I luv her so mmuch and just like you i am discusseded at what people say about Jane I can't believe what people think of Jane she is the best out of the f***ing twilight series Jane is life

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