October 31, 2011

Unholy Passion: 5 Freaky Scenes from Alucarda (1978)

Spirits of the Past.

A grave situation.
After an afternoon of frolicking and combing each others' hair, Alucarda and Justine decide to play house in a dusty, cobweb-ridden Mausoleum. The doors slowly creak as they cautiously push their way in. Light, flickering musical notes with a hint of forbidden romance set the tone as we get a look around the interior of this strange building. The shot lingers on a Sarcophagus for a few long moments, before Alucarda mentions that she's been hearing voices "from the past". Recalling her Déjà vu, she leads Justine around by the hand and speaks to her of death and love. As Alucarda's words become more intense with each sentence, Justine retorts, "Alucarda for heaven's sake, don't talk of death!" 

"Then ask me the most simple question, what do I eat?" ... "Pussy!?"
Justine becomes concerned once more when Alucarda says that she was almost murdered. Holding her heart, where the pain had come from, Alucarda's words invite Justine into her forlorn world. When Alucarda suggests the two of them make a love pact in which their blood shall be as one, the submissive as always Justine agrees. At that moment, Alucarda's face goes from sweet and loving, to completely insane and then delightfully deviant as she pulls from her sleeve and produces the knife she had taken from the Gypsy-Goat man. She holds out her hand, and Justine is slow to reach out but does so, as it is what her new found lover desires. Before Alucarda can slice into her offering, yet completely horrified girlfirend however, Justine pleads for her to stop.

Love spurts.
Without pause, Alucarda comes up with another idea. The two shall swear by the corpse of the woman in the stone coffin besides them. "Lucy Westenra. Died in 1850. Fifteen years ago Justine, our age! Let's swear by her." Alucarda quickly opens Lucy's resting place up, much to the mortification of Justine, and the two girls are hit with some sort of agonizingly painful, ghostly power. Alucarda writhes in pain, pulling at her hair while Justine screams, terrified and worried for her. Mysterious noises that sound like heavy breathing and soul penetration fill the room, before the girls go running for their lives. "I told you this place frightens me, and now look what's it's done to you!" says Justine. The two then head back to the orphanage.

The Blood Pact! 

After the seemingly-possessed Alucarda gets medieval on Justine's submissive ass, she demands their love pact to be pledged in nothing less than BLOOD! Hey, my kind of woman. "We Shall make them Pay!" Suddenly out of the shadows, the strange Gypsy Goat-man arrives once more, and hell, just in time with that dagger that Alucarda had previously desired and/or stolen. He agrees with her assessments of making 'them pay', and proceeds to begin the following ceremony with some "Rain... unt Thunder!"

Bloody Kisses!
"Now Call Them... Call Them.... CALL THEM!" Alucara at this point goes Ssssssatan crazy, screaming out the various names of His Devilness, while bending backwards at some six hundred and sixty-six degrees. It's quite astonishing actually when you see it, and one of the first thoughts is "How does she do that?" Well, don't worry a single little bit because a few seconds later you're showed just how she does it, because now she's completely fucking Naked! God damned and all that, Gypsy Goat-man rips off Justine's clothes and sits them facing together on their knees. He places the dagger between their hands and raises it upwards. "You will blend into each other... and then, into me!"

Gypsy Goat-man performs his strange-ass half-silent ritualistic cutting of their young and nubile titties, afterwards allowing one another to lick off the knife blood from his fingers and despair in their horrid situation. The rain and thunder that's been coming down suddenly turns Blood Red as the girls drink each others' fluids. Now that the hard work is done, Goat-man disappears into thin air and leaves Alucarda gazing lusciously at Justine's bleeding tit flesh. Sweet! Finally it's just the girls... and me watching, of course! Alucarda leans in and kisses her true love. Titty blood on both of their lips! They share bloody kisses for about three minutes... before Alucarda swiftly makes her way down to Justine's blood-dripping left breast. As she starts to kiss, lick and suck away, Justine seems to completely lose her fucking mind! She screams like an insane woman, and her teardrops flow down Alucarda's face. Very gothic romantic.

As if things weren't uncomfortable enough for the average viewer, there's some crazy psychedelic music going off in the background. I happen to find all of this sexy though, so I'm good. I am however realistic enough to notice how uncomfortable this may make some people feel. Or how this scene in particular is supposed to convey a sense of unease. It's definitely weird viewing, but if someone doesn't get it I'm not going to sympathize with them. They can go fuck themselves with a crucifix. ;)

Orgy of the Undead!

The master.
A Mummy Sister gets down on her knees to pray for Justine after the strange and erratic behavior she displayed during the intense and scrutinizing sermon the night before. That is, if you can consider passing out to be 'strange and erratic' behavior. The two girls have once again disappeared somewhere and by the looks of things this Nun has every reason to be concerned. It just so happens that Justine and Alucarda are being led into the forest by the frazzle-haired, Wife of the Gypsy Goat-man... and she's coincidentally nude. Yup, into the forest, and straight into some sort of Satanic, hippie-commune, ritualistic, orgy of the damned! Gypsy's wife sits the two girls down upon the grass and welcomes Justine. A note of interest is that she does not welcome Alucarda as well. Hmm.

As the naked hippies begin to chant and circle around the girls, Gypsy Wife goes on about leaves and flowers and fruit, as well as other earthly delights. All the while Sister is back in her chambers, writing around in insurmountable amounts of struggling pain while begging Christ to not let any harm befall poor and innocent Justine. "Behold the body of thy new servant!", Gypsy Wife screams out. And thus, out of the light comes the Dark Lord himself, Goat Head Satan! Sooner than the Horned One himself commands his minions to get down to some dirty exploration of flesh, Toilet Paper Nun begins to cry Tears of Blood and Levitate. Naturally. All of the sudden a lightning bolt strikes dead the Wife of the creepy Gypsy Goat-man, and that party's over.

Death Bed Confessionals.

After Alucarda and Justine praise all hails to Satan in bible study, they both appear to black out for some short time. Though, Alucarda seems to be more aware of what has happened, while Justine appears weak and sickly. Mother Superior is informed of their blasphemous behavior and orders them to be seen by the doctor, and  also to go to confession as "they're not little girls anymore."

Look at the size of that thing.
Justine lays in bed, looking deathly ill, apparently "getting worse by the minute." After checking her pulse and laying his head upon her breast, Doctor Oszek informs the nuns that she is very sick and her heart is weak. At that moment, Sister Bling leans in and says "Pray Justine. Pray my Child!" The sight of Sister's huge effing cross necklace (<--Wut wut!1) sends Justine into a screaming, trembling mess which pretty much freaks everyone the fuck out. She covers her eyes, whining and petrified, mumbling while the Nuns look on, shocked and worried. Justine then lets out two blood curdling screams, and dozes off again.

Meanwhile, Alucarda has stepped into the confessional booth while wearing an incredibly arousing black veil over her face. She makes her statements, and confesses that she has done no wrong.

Sinned? You bet your ass.
"The facts were explained to me, my child. You have sinned.", replies Father Lazaro.

"I don't recall anything wrong.", says Alucarda.

"Liars rot in Hell for Eternity! I know for sure you were doing wrong."

"Yes, perhaps I have done wrong. I did not lie. I love life. With... with Justine. She came close to me. I love Justine. And, you call yourself Blessed and believe in the heavenly armies, and Worship Death!? I worship life!" Alucarda rips the veil away from her face! "Justine and I, we are not to be blamed. You are! With a black cover over your strong body. You're ashamed of it. You are afriad of life. Yet you would like to have me. Wouldn't you? Well take me! TAKE OFF THAT FILTHY ROBE!" Alucarda lunges through the booth and violently grabs Father Lazaro by the cock while he screams in anguish and retreats. Soon after, the Father orders an Exorcism! Justine is then dragged off, with Alucarda following shortly behind.

Rise From Your Tomb!

With my blood...
So Sister Burrito decides it's a good idea to 'go check on Justine's corpse', as she has been unjustly left in the mausoleum to rot before they bury her in unhallowed ground. She approaches the coffin slowly and cautiously, as she should. Obviously, this nun isn't as enthusiastic about opening coffins, graves and/or tombs as is Alucarda. She's scared. But she 'believes in Justine's honest and wrongly convicted soul.' So she opens the coffin that's conveniently been left on top of soil for easy tampering. Curiosity skins the cat, as she finds Justine completely nude, bathing in blood, when all of a sudden... her eyes bust open like a madwoman, vampire-zombie bitch!

...I'll find your love.
One of the most memorable moments of the film for most people, Justine rises completely nude out of a coffin filled with blood(!), and proceeds to scratch the shit out of her former 'friend' and Sister Nun. She bitch-slaps the hell out of stupid ass Angelica, but is eventually calmed down by her pleading and wanton begging. Justine may be undead, but her innocence still resides within. Her human side, the confusion and the regret that she shows after this attack is heartbreaking. Then as fate would have it, some dumb-ass bastard priests and the doctor run in out of the nowhere and douse her with Holy Water. Her body blisters and smokes! She screams in horrifying agony for what seems like half an hour, before coming to her undead senses, lunging forth and biting a fist-sized chunk out of that mummified bitch's neck! They both die shortly afterwards, with sister leaving more than enough spurting arterial juice to refill that now-empty coffin.

Justine dies twice in this. Tell me that isn't some fucked up nonsense. The most innocent girl in the whole film has to not only be tortured and killed, but resurrected and killed again. And that was after her parents had died and she herself had died a little inside. What a poor, poor soul. At least she had Alucarda as a friend though. Well... for how short of a time it was. And thus, as thus was the tale of two morning star crossed lovers.

Both life and love, could not be saved. She took them both... to the graaaaaaaaaave.

But why would the doctor of all people, and he being the one who opposed the stupidly violent nature of the excorcism that killed Justine, later go after her and Alucarda with holy water? Tune in next time to find out! For more Alucarda madness check out my Previous Posts on the film, and visit Adventures in Nerdliness (another cool site that has reviewed this movie).

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